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Post by nyartgal on Apr 29, 2022 14:48:19 GMT -5
How’s everybody doing?? I thought I’d drop in to say that Opposite Land is still my favorite place, almost ten years out of my sexless marriage and with my very sexy husband of 8 years and father of my two beautiful kids (now 8 and 5).
Every day is not necessarily sex-filled, because: life, kids, exhaustion, etc. But the attraction is still there, hot as ever, and when we have the time/space to enjoy it, we are still setting records! The sex only gets better as we love each other more and appreciate each other on ever deeper levels. We are so lucky, and so grateful.
Just here to say—obviously—that j have NO REGRETS!! And although I know not everybody is as lucky to meet a great partner so soon after ending a SM, in hindsight I would way rather be single than with my ex feeling like garbage.
Sending big hugs to the ILIASM community, and hoping everyone is doing well!
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Post by misssunnybunny on Apr 29, 2022 21:01:03 GMT -5
Hello and so glad to see you are still doing well in Opposite Land! It is a fantastic place, I agree No regrets for me either, so glad I left now almost 9 years ago. Yes there are stresses and bad days, but they are different now without the added stress of the negative energy I had in my SM. Enjoy and be well!
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Post by northstarmom on Apr 29, 2022 21:10:53 GMT -5
My divorce was final 9 years ago when I was 61. I've been with post SM partner for 9 years. We continue to be happy. I continue to also be happy that I had the guts to divorce my refuser. I'm glad that I didn't do what my parents did -- stay in a miserable marriage til death do we part. Life is short. I'm enjoying what's left of mine. BTW, I didn't divorce because I had found a replacement for my ex. I divorced because I knew I'd be better off single and sexless for the rest of my life than continuing to live in an airless marriage with my refuser.
My ex and I delayed our divorce for a year after we decided -- at my request -- to divorce. We did that so I could remain on his insurance until he retired. We both agreed that we'd continue to live as roommates only until he retired and moved overseas, and we both could date others during that period. It was a big surprise to me that 8 months later. I started dating someone whom I'd known for years but had never considered as a possible partner. It ended up that he became the love of my life. Still, even if I hadn't found a new partner, I'd still be happier on my on than wtih my ex.
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Post by shamwow on May 2, 2022 16:15:17 GMT -5
It's good to hear from others in Oppositeland. I'm just about to hit the 5 year milestone and was incredibly lucky to meet ballofconfusion right out of the gate. We've got a few updates so it might be time to do an update on my T-minus thread.
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Post by angeleyes65 on May 2, 2022 17:19:53 GMT -5
10 years wow! Always good to hear from people on the other side. I will hit my 5 yr mark in June and the love of my life will hit his 4 years in June. While we have been together 11 years this April. I know cart before the horse and all that. But I do not regret a thing except staying as long as we did. And I agree with the above consensus I was on my way out working my exit plan before I knew we would end up together. I would rather be single and sexless than be lonely in a room when Im not alone. Not having his negative energy surrounding me is life changing all on it's own. Wishing many more happy years for all of us. Never too late to be happy!
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Post by TMD on May 3, 2022 13:15:29 GMT -5
I often wonder how you are faring. I can’t believe it’s been 10 years + sexy husband + 2 kids!
So happy for you!
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Post by nyartgal on May 3, 2022 17:57:20 GMT -5
It's good to hear from others in Oppositeland. I'm just about to hit the 5 year milestone and was incredibly lucky to meet ballofconfusion right out of the gate. We've got a few updates so it might be time to do an update on my T-minus thread. Yes! We need an update!!
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Post by nyartgal on May 3, 2022 17:58:02 GMT -5
I often wonder how you are faring. I can’t believe it’s been 10 years + sexy husband + 2 kids! So happy for you! How are you? I hope that things are evolving in the right direction...toward more freedom, fulfillment and happiness.
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Post by baza on May 9, 2022 0:05:59 GMT -5
Good to hear from you again Sister nyartgal . Just about every time someone (who is out of their ILIASM shithole) comes back to update, a story of being waaay happier tends to emerge - in 9+ cases out of 10. And I've never seen a story in hear saying "well, getting out of my ILIASM deal was a huge error and I so wish I was back in it".
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Post by TMD on May 10, 2022 15:20:09 GMT -5
I often wonder how you are faring. I can’t believe it’s been 10 years + sexy husband + 2 kids! So happy for you! How are you? I hope that things are evolving in the right direction...toward more freedom, fulfillment and happiness. Things are changing! I have made more progress this last year, than in the last 10ish. That said, still technically married but I can now officially claim my *STBX* and I are taking steps. Albeit sometimes I need a figurative cattle prod to motivate him to do the things he committed to. ;-) I have a thread. It’s quiet here on ILIASM and my presence is sporadic, at best. Since I’m home sick with Covid, again, I will update it soon. I’m getting a bit restless. :-)
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