5 wishes to send out to your ex.
Apr 15, 2022 15:38:06 GMT -5
ironhamster, muzack, and 1 more like this
Post by greatcoastal on Apr 15, 2022 15:38:06 GMT -5
medium.com/curious/5-wishes-to-send-out-to-your-ex-7318b37171c9
I’ve been through a lot of relationship endings in my life. I’ve been the heartbreaker and the heartbroken. I’ve been on the receiving end of a ghosting. I’ve had amicable partings and acrimonious ones. I’ve cried a lot of tears and let loose many, many swear words. I’ve broken, and I’ve healed.
It’s only recently that I’ve realized that how I see my exes and those relationships doesn’t have to rely solely on the endings. I get to choose how I remember them, and I get to choose how I heal and move forward. Here are the wishes we can send to our exes when it’s over.
A Wish for Healing
We can wish them healing. Let’s face it: we’re all a little broken. Our broken pieces often hurt other people — not always intentionally. Whether we’re the ones doing the leaving or the ones being left behind, we can wish the other person healing.
This can be difficult when we’re in the anger stage of grief. It gets easier over time — assuming we work on our own healing. Of all the relationships I’ve had, I do hope that they heal from all the things that have hurt them. I hope they find a way to put childhood traumas to rest and become stronger people for it.
I hope they heal from the relationships before me, from the relationship with me, and from any other hurts they’ve accumulated along the way.
A Wish for Peace
I can honestly say that I hope they find true peace and become better rather than bitter. Even the people who did harm deserve to find peace. Don’t we all deserve that?
I used to be petty. I used to hold onto anger and disappointment. I’m human so I still have moments when I cycle through these emotions. Then, it passes.
My overwhelming wish for the people I once loved is that they find peace. They couldn’t find it with me. I hope they find it in the lives they’ve chosen.
We don’t have to wish them misery and discontent. We get to choose the energy we direct toward them. We can elect to be peaceful even if they aren’t. We aren’t responsible for how they choose to perceive us, but we can release our need to hold onto anger and unforgiveness. I’m letting peace flow through me.
A Wish for Love
As tired as I am of being put through the wringer so my exes can grow and go on to find their happy ever after story, I actually wish them all healthy love. I wish them the experience of loving someone who loves them for exactly who they are.
I wish them butterflies in the belly, stars in their eyes, and fireworks going off every time they touch. I wish them lasting love.
It’s what I want for myself, after all. Why wouldn’t I wish that to others? It’s been a growth moment to realize I don’t begrudge them future relationships. I don’t feel any surge of jealousy or anger. I just hope they find the love they’re seeking.
A Wish for Growth
If I’m honest, I do wish them all growth. I hope they grow into the people I always knew they could be. I hope they manage to become the best of themselves, and I hope they treat the next person better than they treated me even on the best days.
I am growing, too. I’m leaning into healing, and I don’t find anything left in me but a desire to move forward and to wish others well. If nothing else, we can hope that they grow from their experiences and become better people as a result of them.
I know that I’m becoming better every day. I’m healing from childhood and relationship trauma. I’m learning to love myself better. I’m learning how to be a better friend, a better person, and maybe one day a better partner. I am not the aspirational version of myself; I am the most authentic.
As I move into that authenticity, I find my compassion expanding — so much so that I can look back at a past littered with heartbreak and hope that they, too, grow into their best and brightest selves.
A Wish to Lose My Number
This one may seem unkind, but it’s not. I hope they lose my number. I hope they find their peace, healing, and love. I hope they grow. And I hope they lose my number in the process.
Unless there’s an overdue apology coming my way or a necessary step along a 12-step program they need to complete, I don’t want future contact.
I want them to thrive in their new lives, but I want to be undisturbed in mine. I wish them well, but I also wish them down a new path — one that doesn’t intersect with mine. Don’t go back; just keep moving forward.
Someone somewhere will pop up to tell a story of old loves that came back, but in my experience, they rarely come back better. They just came back because it got lonely out there, and they thought we might be waiting around as an option. I don’t want to be revisited by ghosts from the past who are unlikely to become a part of my present.
I want to grow strong in the life I’m creating, and to do so, I need to release my grip on the past.
I don’t want a relationship that couldn’t see my value the first time around. I don’t want a love story that requires someone having to sample what’s out there to appreciate what they had. I just want healing and peace for myself — and a love that knows what it’s got without having to lose it first.
I’ve spent months healing from the last relationship. It felt like the grief would never end, that I would be trapped in that awful sense of sadness and rejection. Then, my life started to shift. My open heart began to heal. I began taking better care of myself and began to be more present in my life. I started feeling gratitude for all that I had — and even all that I lost along the way to having it.
I stopped telling myself a story that I would have been happier if the last relationship had lasted. I no longer believe that to be true. I would have gotten exactly what I wanted but none of what I needed. There’s peace in realizing that.
Now that I’ve found peace, I can afford to send a little of it out into the Universe.
Of course, I know these same wishes won’t necessarily apply when we’re dealing with abuse. In that case, we may wish them help for their problems so that others aren’t hurt along the way, but we may not go so far as to wish them the rest of it. That’s okay, too.
It costs us nothing to wish our exes well, and I’ve found it helps with healing our own troubled hearts. The second I stopped being angry and started being compassionate, the last lingering bit of love left me. I sent it out. Now, I can move forward and wish everyone behind me only happiness. This is what it means to finally be free.
I’ve been through a lot of relationship endings in my life. I’ve been the heartbreaker and the heartbroken. I’ve been on the receiving end of a ghosting. I’ve had amicable partings and acrimonious ones. I’ve cried a lot of tears and let loose many, many swear words. I’ve broken, and I’ve healed.
It’s only recently that I’ve realized that how I see my exes and those relationships doesn’t have to rely solely on the endings. I get to choose how I remember them, and I get to choose how I heal and move forward. Here are the wishes we can send to our exes when it’s over.
A Wish for Healing
We can wish them healing. Let’s face it: we’re all a little broken. Our broken pieces often hurt other people — not always intentionally. Whether we’re the ones doing the leaving or the ones being left behind, we can wish the other person healing.
This can be difficult when we’re in the anger stage of grief. It gets easier over time — assuming we work on our own healing. Of all the relationships I’ve had, I do hope that they heal from all the things that have hurt them. I hope they find a way to put childhood traumas to rest and become stronger people for it.
I hope they heal from the relationships before me, from the relationship with me, and from any other hurts they’ve accumulated along the way.
A Wish for Peace
I can honestly say that I hope they find true peace and become better rather than bitter. Even the people who did harm deserve to find peace. Don’t we all deserve that?
I used to be petty. I used to hold onto anger and disappointment. I’m human so I still have moments when I cycle through these emotions. Then, it passes.
My overwhelming wish for the people I once loved is that they find peace. They couldn’t find it with me. I hope they find it in the lives they’ve chosen.
We don’t have to wish them misery and discontent. We get to choose the energy we direct toward them. We can elect to be peaceful even if they aren’t. We aren’t responsible for how they choose to perceive us, but we can release our need to hold onto anger and unforgiveness. I’m letting peace flow through me.
A Wish for Love
As tired as I am of being put through the wringer so my exes can grow and go on to find their happy ever after story, I actually wish them all healthy love. I wish them the experience of loving someone who loves them for exactly who they are.
I wish them butterflies in the belly, stars in their eyes, and fireworks going off every time they touch. I wish them lasting love.
It’s what I want for myself, after all. Why wouldn’t I wish that to others? It’s been a growth moment to realize I don’t begrudge them future relationships. I don’t feel any surge of jealousy or anger. I just hope they find the love they’re seeking.
A Wish for Growth
If I’m honest, I do wish them all growth. I hope they grow into the people I always knew they could be. I hope they manage to become the best of themselves, and I hope they treat the next person better than they treated me even on the best days.
I am growing, too. I’m leaning into healing, and I don’t find anything left in me but a desire to move forward and to wish others well. If nothing else, we can hope that they grow from their experiences and become better people as a result of them.
I know that I’m becoming better every day. I’m healing from childhood and relationship trauma. I’m learning to love myself better. I’m learning how to be a better friend, a better person, and maybe one day a better partner. I am not the aspirational version of myself; I am the most authentic.
As I move into that authenticity, I find my compassion expanding — so much so that I can look back at a past littered with heartbreak and hope that they, too, grow into their best and brightest selves.
A Wish to Lose My Number
This one may seem unkind, but it’s not. I hope they lose my number. I hope they find their peace, healing, and love. I hope they grow. And I hope they lose my number in the process.
Unless there’s an overdue apology coming my way or a necessary step along a 12-step program they need to complete, I don’t want future contact.
I want them to thrive in their new lives, but I want to be undisturbed in mine. I wish them well, but I also wish them down a new path — one that doesn’t intersect with mine. Don’t go back; just keep moving forward.
Someone somewhere will pop up to tell a story of old loves that came back, but in my experience, they rarely come back better. They just came back because it got lonely out there, and they thought we might be waiting around as an option. I don’t want to be revisited by ghosts from the past who are unlikely to become a part of my present.
I want to grow strong in the life I’m creating, and to do so, I need to release my grip on the past.
I don’t want a relationship that couldn’t see my value the first time around. I don’t want a love story that requires someone having to sample what’s out there to appreciate what they had. I just want healing and peace for myself — and a love that knows what it’s got without having to lose it first.
I’ve spent months healing from the last relationship. It felt like the grief would never end, that I would be trapped in that awful sense of sadness and rejection. Then, my life started to shift. My open heart began to heal. I began taking better care of myself and began to be more present in my life. I started feeling gratitude for all that I had — and even all that I lost along the way to having it.
I stopped telling myself a story that I would have been happier if the last relationship had lasted. I no longer believe that to be true. I would have gotten exactly what I wanted but none of what I needed. There’s peace in realizing that.
Now that I’ve found peace, I can afford to send a little of it out into the Universe.
Of course, I know these same wishes won’t necessarily apply when we’re dealing with abuse. In that case, we may wish them help for their problems so that others aren’t hurt along the way, but we may not go so far as to wish them the rest of it. That’s okay, too.
It costs us nothing to wish our exes well, and I’ve found it helps with healing our own troubled hearts. The second I stopped being angry and started being compassionate, the last lingering bit of love left me. I sent it out. Now, I can move forward and wish everyone behind me only happiness. This is what it means to finally be free.