A good explanation on why to divorce/outsource
Mar 19, 2022 8:36:40 GMT -5
ironhamster, dallasgia, and 3 more like this
Post by greatcoastal on Mar 19, 2022 8:36:40 GMT -5
I’m a 50 something male, married for over 20 years. I’m proud of us, what we’ve accomplished together. Two kids. One in college and one an adult — both well-adjusted. We are comfortable, her job pays well, and my investments produce income.
We’ve done fine.
Except why is he on an adultery forum online?
Why are most of us? Our spouses changed. Neglected us. We felt a void. That’s why I came here. Our lives weren’t what we bargained for.
Sixteen years ago, after we had our first child, things changed. First, her libido plummeted after childbirth. Then, she went on medication to help with a sleep disorder which caused her libido to crash even more.
As the years have passed, she dived further into work.
Usually, there’s one head-in-the-work-all-the-time spouse. The spouse never wants to see how the family suffers because of their behavior. The other partner is vainly trying to keep “things” together.
I am sure I could have better communicated my needs over the years — been less passive-aggressive and more tactful. But unfortunately, the lack of dialogue led to a lack of intimacy.
Now it’s a roommate situation. It’s comfortable, I admit.
This is what gets us on r/adultery.
Being ignored. Set aside. And not just sexually.
But now I feel ugly, and I am not. I know that. I work out and take care of myself. My body still isn’t perfect, but I have gotten the eye from a few of the women at the gym who are far younger and more attractive than my shyness can accept.
I am trying to go beyond feeling unwanted.
I am not done having sex yet. I miss making out. I miss being between a woman’s legs. I miss pretty lingerie. I miss being needed.
That’s why I am here now.
It sounds like most of us. When I started “affairs,” I was in his place, too. I wanted to feel alive. Now I am much, much happier. Absurdly, so. No more denial in an endless dead bedroom.
How much longer can you lug that Sisyphian Stone uphill?
No more living your life with too many regrets.
One of the most valuable things I’ve discovered from having lovers is that I’m sexually desirable. That women do find me attractive. I realized my wife is just one woman. I found that her lack of desire and her inability to fuck me does not determine my worth as a man.
You will find out that you don’t have to put up with that nonsense. You don’t have to live a life of sexual deprivation. You don’t need to let a frigid or asexual spouse define you.
I’ve discovered the same.
(I copied this from an article written by a woman on Medium.com)
We’ve done fine.
Except why is he on an adultery forum online?
Why are most of us? Our spouses changed. Neglected us. We felt a void. That’s why I came here. Our lives weren’t what we bargained for.
Sixteen years ago, after we had our first child, things changed. First, her libido plummeted after childbirth. Then, she went on medication to help with a sleep disorder which caused her libido to crash even more.
As the years have passed, she dived further into work.
Usually, there’s one head-in-the-work-all-the-time spouse. The spouse never wants to see how the family suffers because of their behavior. The other partner is vainly trying to keep “things” together.
I am sure I could have better communicated my needs over the years — been less passive-aggressive and more tactful. But unfortunately, the lack of dialogue led to a lack of intimacy.
Now it’s a roommate situation. It’s comfortable, I admit.
This is what gets us on r/adultery.
Being ignored. Set aside. And not just sexually.
But now I feel ugly, and I am not. I know that. I work out and take care of myself. My body still isn’t perfect, but I have gotten the eye from a few of the women at the gym who are far younger and more attractive than my shyness can accept.
I am trying to go beyond feeling unwanted.
I am not done having sex yet. I miss making out. I miss being between a woman’s legs. I miss pretty lingerie. I miss being needed.
That’s why I am here now.
It sounds like most of us. When I started “affairs,” I was in his place, too. I wanted to feel alive. Now I am much, much happier. Absurdly, so. No more denial in an endless dead bedroom.
How much longer can you lug that Sisyphian Stone uphill?
No more living your life with too many regrets.
One of the most valuable things I’ve discovered from having lovers is that I’m sexually desirable. That women do find me attractive. I realized my wife is just one woman. I found that her lack of desire and her inability to fuck me does not determine my worth as a man.
You will find out that you don’t have to put up with that nonsense. You don’t have to live a life of sexual deprivation. You don’t need to let a frigid or asexual spouse define you.
I’ve discovered the same.
(I copied this from an article written by a woman on Medium.com)