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Post by catlover on May 24, 2021 10:21:25 GMT -5
It is a long weekend in Ontario, we are spending it at our trailer. I had this bright idea on Friday morning to send her a "meeting request" saying could we maybe try "nookie or a reasonable facsimile" sometime over the weekend. So far no response, neither yes, no or maybe. In other words ignoring it totally. I'm tired of trying to keep things going. I can't leave because of her illness, pay for ay is not really satisfying and coupled with our ongoing covid lockdown finding a FWB is somewhat next to impossible.Punching trees or bringing up the issue is just going to create an argument and bad feelings from her and so the cycle continues.To put it somewhat mildly, the resentment is getting high
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Post by shamwow on May 24, 2021 16:31:06 GMT -5
It is a long weekend in Ontario, we are spending it at our trailer. I had this bright idea on Friday morning to send her a "meeting request" saying could we maybe try "nookie or a reasonable facsimile" sometime over the weekend. So far no response, neither yes, no or maybe. In other words ignoring it totally. I'm tired of trying to keep things going. I can't leave because of her illness, pay for ay is not really satisfying and coupled with our ongoing covid lockdown finding a FWB is somewhat next to impossible.Punching trees or bringing up the issue is just going to create an argument and bad feelings from her and so the cycle continues.To put it somewhat mildly, the resentment is getting high I guess if you wanted a response, you should have included JenniferBailey1996@gmail.com on the meeting invite. I have no idea who Jennifer Bailey is, but it sure as hell would not have been ignored 🤣 Of course I'd be sure to make sure that is NOT a valid address prior to sending the invite...
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Post by catlover on May 24, 2021 18:12:05 GMT -5
That brought a smile to my face anyway 😁
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Post by ironhamster on May 24, 2021 19:48:31 GMT -5
JenniferBailey1996@gmail.com...
Perfect. Then send a single message directly to your wife saying "Sorry. That was not for you."
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Post by catlover on May 24, 2021 20:48:30 GMT -5
JenniferBailey1996@gmail.com... Perfect. Then send a single message directly to your wife saying "Sorry. That was not for you." I think we have a winner 😂 Attachments:
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Post by jerri on May 24, 2021 23:28:15 GMT -5
Tell your wife that I told you to leave her alone and go get some nookie somewhere else. See what she thinks.
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Post by shamwow on May 25, 2021 13:26:12 GMT -5
JenniferBailey1996@gmail.com... Perfect. Then send a single message directly to your wife saying "Sorry. That was not for you." I think we have a winner 😂 Only thing better would be if it were mailbox full rather than unavailable 😉
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Post by catlover on May 27, 2021 20:45:41 GMT -5
Still no response, tried to provoke one by asking, "I'm curious, sent you a 'meeting request' and a bunch of updates, did you not get it/them or did you choose to not respond?" Instant ice in the air but no response
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Post by catlover on May 28, 2021 2:59:30 GMT -5
Still no response, tried to provoke one by asking, "I'm curious, sent you a 'meeting request' and a bunch of updates, did you not get it/them or did you choose to not respond?" Instant ice in the air but no response Also curious: Which one of you looked away/walked away first? She did. Right now it is 4:00 am and I can't sleep. I was lying in bed next to it, or should I say, in the same bed, she couldn't get further away from me if possible. The resentment is eating away at me.
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Post by northstarmom on May 28, 2021 9:11:40 GMT -5
Cat lover, her actions are telling you the chances are nil of having sex with you. Why do you continue to try? Why sleep in the same bed as her? What are you getting out of this relationship? Is it worth your pain?
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Post by catlover on May 28, 2021 10:18:19 GMT -5
Cat lover, her actions are telling you the chances are nil of having sex with you. Why do you continue to try? Why sleep in the same bed as her? What are you getting out of this relationship? Is it worth your pain? I guess I am one of two things, either an eternal optimist or a masochist into self flagellation. The thing is, I still deeply care for her, even though often times I feel like I hate her.
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Post by northstarmom on May 28, 2021 12:29:34 GMT -5
Catlover, one can deeply care for someone whom one would not want to be married to or romantically involved with: a sibling, parent, good friend, etc. I deeply cared for my refuser husband, but after years of being refused, I no longer lusted after him or wanted to be romantically partnered with him. I'm now divorced and with a man whom I deeply care for, love, and enjoy or mutually enjoyable frequent fucking. I still care for my ex. I'm glad, however, not to be married to him.
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Post by northstarmom on May 29, 2021 8:52:22 GMT -5
Padgemi:” And I have reason to suspect, deep down, she viewed me more like weak and pathetic rather than sexually attractive.”
I would view a man as a pathetic spineless worm not worthy of my love if he kept futility begging me for sex. To me, a manly man worthy of my love would move on not keep begging. I’d have no respect for a man who’d hang around declaring his love after being constantly rejected. And if I loved him romantically I wouldn’t have kept rejecting him.
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Post by catlover on May 29, 2021 15:19:15 GMT -5
Padgemi:” And I have reason to suspect, deep down, she viewed me more like weak and pathetic rather than sexually attractive.” I would view a man as a pathetic spineless worm not worthy of my love if he kept futility begging me for sex. To me, a manly man worthy of my love would move on not keep begging. I’d have no respect for a man who’d hang around declaring his love after being constantly rejected. And if I loved him romantically I wouldn’t have kept rejecting him. Well I guess in that case I am indeed pathetic and spineless. On the other hand though, I am not "begging" for sex, just SOME physical affection. So, what do you all suggest I do, divorce or leave a very (terminally) ill women who has supported me through loads of shit (and also good times)? Gee, thanks for the morale booster. My twat of a brother-in-law (long back story there) accused me (a decorated vet) of being of being a spineless something or other, a wife and child abuser and a drug addict (via FB messenger), didn't have the balls to say it to my face though, maybe he was right. (this is someone who was an army deserter, fucked up his own marriage and hasn't seen his two boys (grown men now) in many, many years)
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Post by northstarmom on May 29, 2021 16:33:41 GMT -5
Cat lover if your wife is terminally ill she may have nothing to give you because all of her emotional resources are being used on herself. You may be asking and expecting too much from her. She literally may not have any physical affection to give you. To approach her for it borders on being cruel. If sex and affection stopped before her illness she may have lost romantic feelings for you long ago. She may be with you now because due to her illness she lacks other options. If you do love her, the most loving thing you may be able to do for her is to platonically care for her until she passes away. You could accept that you will not get the physical love and affection you want from her. You could choose to get discretely such attention elsewhere while caring for your wife and remaining married.
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