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Post by dallasgia on Feb 18, 2021 22:06:22 GMT -5
So terribly awkward to sit through with a spouse who hasn’t laid a finger on you in 2 yrs. . Do you say something? Pretend nothings wrong? Sit in silence? Look away?
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Post by deadzone75 on Feb 19, 2021 2:45:15 GMT -5
I either left the room or said something sarcastic, like "Yeah, right...like that happens in real life." Considering my W is too clueless to get sarcasm, she was probably thinking "Yeah...that doesn't really happen in real life."
In hindsight, it would have been funny/sad to ask, "Say, do you mind if I masturbate to this? I'll just need a bit more elbow room on the couch, thanks."
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Post by northstarmom on Feb 19, 2021 11:40:32 GMT -5
When I was in my SM, I'd just sit there silently and feel embarrassed. Now that I'mn out of that marriage and with a partner who loves sex, I relish sex scenes, and enjoy watching them with my partner, and thinking bout them later when we have sex.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 19, 2021 13:00:10 GMT -5
So terribly awkward to sit through with a spouse who hasn’t laid a finger on you in 2 yrs. . Do you say something? Pretend nothings wrong? Sit in silence? Look away? Fast forward.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 19, 2021 13:02:24 GMT -5
So terribly awkward to sit through with a spouse who hasn’t laid a finger on you in 2 yrs. . Do you say something? Pretend nothings wrong? Sit in silence? Look away? Fast forward. Actually my wife will often fast forward through them, usually with a comment like, "everyone is so sex obsessed" or "why did they put this in here".
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Post by isthisit on Feb 19, 2021 13:46:20 GMT -5
I will buck the trend a bit here. I take some joy from sensing H’s discomfort at the sight of ‘that business’ on the TV. You know, the stuff normal, healthy, grown ups enjoy. I could see him trying valiantly to appear nonchalant while cringing. I’m with northstarmom though. In my future I fully intend to make the most of every opportunity with a partner who can appreciate any and every opportunity for some grown up viewing.
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Post by dallasgia on Feb 19, 2021 14:37:44 GMT -5
I either left the room or said something sarcastic, like "Yeah, right...like that happens in real life." Considering my W is too clueless to get sarcasm, she was probably thinking "Yeah...that doesn't really happen in real life." In hindsight, it would have been funny/sad to ask, "Say, do you mind if I masturbate to this? I'll just need a bit more elbow room on the couch, thanks." Coffee out the nose laughing - thank you - oh goodness 😂
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Post by worksforme2 on Feb 19, 2021 20:12:40 GMT -5
Prior to my X going rouge on sex we used to enjoy sexy scenes in a movie. Some times she would ask me what I thought about them, which I took to mean she might be a little wet. But post menopausal I don't remember seeing any movies with overtly sex scenes.
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Post by shamwow on Feb 20, 2021 4:13:46 GMT -5
ballofconfusion and I had similar experiences with our exes. Now we seek out these kinds of shows / movies (ie Outlander, Black Sails, Game of Thrones, etc...). It gets the juices flowing 😉
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Post by bozodeclowne on Feb 22, 2021 15:54:37 GMT -5
I mostly sit in silence these days, though a sarcastic comment does occasionally sneak out. These types of scenes seem to have no effect on my wife at all, at least outwardly. I can say the same about the sarcastic "must be nice" type of things I used to mutter. Just no reaction at all.
The thing is, once you realize he/she is no longer in to you, it's like watching with a brother or sister. Just awkward silence. I can't say what it does to her, but I have to be careful not to get angry. That anger is (and really always was) aimed at myself, for wasting so much of my life loving a person that no longer felt the same.
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Post by deadzone75 on Feb 23, 2021 1:10:33 GMT -5
It's odd that one of my W's favorite films is "Basic Instinct", a movie with gratuitous sex scenes. Maybe she's just a big Michael Douglas fan.
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Post by jerri on Feb 23, 2021 1:40:32 GMT -5
At times he fidgets.
What's really awkward is open marriage scenes.
Or the time Bill Maher slapped people in sexless M's for masturbating while their wives are upstairs crying. You have to remember that Dan Savage is Bill Maher's friend, so you can imagine the lunch conversations they have had.
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Post by baza on Feb 23, 2021 4:08:11 GMT -5
A couple of posts up above by Brother itme poses the question - "hold your peace or speak your mind" - as it regards reacting to sexual depictions in popular media. It's a good question. But the end answer is the same. If you adopt the "hold your peace" position, then obviously there'll be no sex. The question isn't even raised. If you adopt the "speak your mind" position you'll get sullen indifference - or maybe an angry reaction which quickly escalates .... and that also results in no sex. So, personally, I think that "hold your peace" is the best course to follow ..... unless ..... you've got some plan in hand to back up your "speak your mind" position with action.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2021 21:48:10 GMT -5
New here. Not sure what to do. Do I just respond?
Yes. Just respond.
Ok. Hi everyone. We just went through this last night, but of course it wasn't the first time. We were watching To Tell the Truth, and the panel was comprised of three sexologists. I felt very awkward. Looked over at my beloved to see if he felt the same way. He was playing golf on his phone. Not even paying attention to the horrific subject matter on tv.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2021 12:56:44 GMT -5
itme but we already know who the real sexologist is. Where's the fun in that? 🤣
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