A very long update and I welcome your thoughts/opinions Mar 17, 2021 22:19:49 GMT -5 via mobile greatcoastal and mirrororchid like this
Post by padgemi on Mar 17, 2021 22:19:49 GMT -5
So I have some work to do with my son. He seems to be taking it the hardest, but he's also almost "out of the nest" as he will be leaving for college this summer. Both of my daughters were happy and smiling this morning and seemed to be somewhat back to normal, so I think they are going to be fine. My wife, on the other hand, I am really going to have to watch. She's proven to me that she isn't going to cooperate and is going to end up making it more difficult on herself in the process as the way I handle her is going to change. I really tried to take the high road and will do so with my kids and with regard to my wife in front of my kids, but this woman is crazy and manipulative.
Godspeed flyingsolo !
Slightly ahead of you and the alienation is in full swing here. It is fucking heartbreaking. Spend as much quality time with them as you can. Don’t talk bad about your ex, as much as she may deserve it. Also- might be a good idea to get close to your kids’ best friends’ parents ASAP if possible. My ex sure as hell seems to have used these alliances as weapons against me, among other covert tactics. They are teens. They don’t want to spend any time with me. They stay in their rooms every minute of my parenting time. Won’t even so much as go for a walk with me, unless I coerce them into it. Perhaps they would treat their mom the same way, but for one thing - she takes them to see their friends. We’re talking parties. Ski trips. Dungeons and dragons matches that go on for hours. The works.
Last month, they asked to be picked up 8 ours early to go to a friend party with mom. I said OK. 2 weeks later: same thing.
“Can we go to another party?”
“OK I’m going to take you this time”
“No way dad! That would be totally awkward. You were never that close to them.”
“I was close to them. I picked up O. Every week from church. Etc. etc.”
“No Dad it’s too weird.”
“T’s dad got a divorce. Both T’s divorced parents came to our house for the Halloween party and I was glad his dad came. I had a good time and I think he did too.”
“Yeah but T has a good relationship with his dad.”
“How do you know that? Does T talk to you about his dad?”
“Do you talk to T about me?”
“You don’t know a thing about his relationship with his dad, do you?”
“No. But you can’t take us. That would be soooo awkward.”
“OK Your asking for a whole day of my parenting time. Again. If I don’t take you, you’re not going.”
So they stayed in their rooms, more distant than ever.
Get close to their friends and friends parents, man. Just do it. Right now.