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Post by pointbreakgirl on Sept 7, 2020 19:08:00 GMT -5
Here is my post sexless marriage life after death summary which I am still trying to get over:
Loads of sex, then the strange requests started, threesomes, push up bras, boob job (mine are actually huge now) me with another woman, that AHOLE could never be satisfied or bond intimately with me just with his freekin hand and with porn so I 86ed him. But still that stings to be seriously replaced by freekin porn. That does a lot to a woman after being in a sexless marriage. I have read a lot about sociopaths and psychopaths and narcissists (both fit the bill perfectly) the inability to be intimate and the schizoid desire to be alone and sexless, but to be literally replaced by his hand and porn when in the best shape of my life and triangulated with these random women was insulting to the max. The lying, the comparisons, just viewed as an object and not even for my whole womanness, what a pos. So great men would rather bust a nut to some bull than to a real woman.
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Post by angeleyes65 on Sept 7, 2020 19:38:42 GMT -5
I lived this also. So glad to be on the other side. He never asked me to get breast augmentation but the rest is dead on. I also believe him to be a narcissist.
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Post by jim44444 on Sept 7, 2020 22:00:07 GMT -5
Fantasies are OK, obsessions are creepy, but asking you to get a boob job - WTF? That is way over the top.
I enjoy porn if it is good (whatever that means) but it is not real. I do not understand people who use porn to set the standards for their sex life. Maybe they believe in the zombie movies also.
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Post by lessingham on Sept 8, 2020 3:10:29 GMT -5
I have never, ever understood this obsession with boob jobs. One of the many great joys of breasts is their endless variation.
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Post by ironhamster on Sept 14, 2020 14:59:06 GMT -5
The idea of a woman wanting a boob job scares me. I don't care if they are big or small or firm or saggy, as long as they are responsive. They aren't going to get more responsive through surgery.
I don't get the pornosexual thing, either, but it happens. Heck, one guy I worked with was a 40 year old virgin. One of the women offered to take him to bed and deflower him, and he turned her down because his mind is stuck on super-model porn, and he can't even afford to rent a woman that meets his beauty standards. His mind is stuck in his online harem, where every click reinforces his brains neural paths of sexual satisfaction. Urgh. He doesn't even care what he is missing.
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Post by Handy on Sept 14, 2020 17:21:28 GMT -5
Ironmaster, I have a single friend that is older than me, that claims to be lonely. I told him to ask one of the single women in his church out on a date. The first thing he said is most of the single women his age have a big butt. I said he might get lucky and if the lights are off in the bedroom he didn't have to look at a wide butt.
I didn't convince him that a few extra pounds was normal and if he and a woman hit it off, that he was wasting his time looking for perfection.
I have read stories written by women with no-go issues so maybe everyone is a little crazy and has a difficult time with anything outside their idea of perfection.
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Post by lwoetin on Sept 15, 2020 0:16:34 GMT -5
pbg, good to hear from you again and that you are in the best shape of your life. The dude is living in a fantasy world. Did he have a real job?
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Post by saarinista on Sept 15, 2020 0:57:49 GMT -5
Apparently lots of folks are hooked on porn, sadly. Porn has never been my thing, so I didn't realize until a relatively recently how easily available it is to almost everyone online. It becomes an easy out for people who have problems relating to reality. 😔 I'm not big on censorship but I wish porn was not so pervasive.
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Post by ironhamster on Sept 15, 2020 1:18:10 GMT -5
I used to rely on porn for a sexual outlet. I suppose I could argue some of my imagination is not so vivid, but, I am well aware I have an addictive personality and avoid things I sense I am getting sucked into. The idea of paying for porn is crazy to me, but obviously a lot of men do, and some women. I recently heard of a woman on a site called fans only which posted risque pics but no nudes, until she didn't. She offered a nude for $200. She made a million dollars in one day with that pic. That tells me there are at least 5000 desperately porn addicted lonely men out there. That's not healthy. I wish people were more well adjusted.
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Post by baza on Sept 15, 2020 1:21:48 GMT -5
I stand to be corrected on this, but from what I've observed, if you get your partner off the porn - or restrict their access to it - it doesn't then result in them turning to you for sexual gratification.
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Post by lessingham on Sept 15, 2020 3:02:52 GMT -5
My wife is overweight and covered in scars from her operations. I would still make love to her than porn. The problem is, she doesn't so porn keeps me from walking into lamp posts
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Post by h on Sept 15, 2020 6:42:50 GMT -5
I don't understand how anyone could choose porn over a real life partner. To me, it's a barely passable substitute used solely as a means to an end. I know I'm not getting the real thing and I don't want to waste a bunch of time taking care of myself so the visual stimulation speeds up the process and vent away unwanted energy as quickly as possible. Then I go about my day.
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Post by ironhamster on Sept 15, 2020 10:00:42 GMT -5
Here is why they choose porn. Their brain gets reprogrammed that way. Every click, their neurons get a dopamine dump. Chick-reward, click-reward. The instant gratification becomes an addiction, a fast and easy path to gratification.
It's hard to break an addiction, but it's harder for a young man with those neural paths firmly in place than an older man. A lot of young men are destined to spend their lives either alone or disappointing their women.
Idk. On the bright side, Darwinistic thinking says, survival of the fittest and for those men that are truely sexually active, we are winning.
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Post by sadkat on Sept 15, 2020 10:11:41 GMT -5
Here is why they choose porn. Their brain gets reprogrammed that way. Every click, their neurons get a dopamine dump. Chick-reward, click-reward. The instant gratification becomes an addiction, a fast and easy path to gratification. It's hard to break an addiction, but it's harder for a young man with those neural paths firmly in place than an older man. A lot of young men are destined to spend their lives either alone or disappointing their women. Idk. On the bright side, Darwinistic thinking says, survival of the fittest and for those men that are truely sexually active, we are winning. I agree with this 100%. I lived with it for more than 20 years. There’s no getting an addict off porn or restricting access. So, it’s a moot point whether or not they will want sex with their partners. They never will because all they want is porn.
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Post by mirrororchid on Sept 15, 2020 17:46:35 GMT -5
I stand to be corrected on this, but from what I've observed, if you get your partner off the porn - or restrict their access to it - it doesn't then result in them turning to you for sexual gratification. I've heard that it actually does help. If you're gratifying yourself daily, or more, you may find that 72 hours of steam can get you interested in mere mortal women. Hopefully, you know what to do once you're with one, having played solitaire for so long.
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