Post by jerri on Aug 13, 2020 2:07:40 GMT -5
ETA: I have a set date for his sweet heat. I MIGHT come and it might not. Thanks for the input, it helps deadbeders and those who may read this in the future.
I wanted a heartfelt, calm, loving talk with my DH. I have not been successful in the past. This will be a tough case, but I really don't care. I have been told no for so many years that one or two more won't really matter. I am looking for a very organized time frame and I won't get sex unless I set out a good case to get it. Covid alone may not be good enough.
I had better success when it negotiated ahead of time understanding that excuses were not to get in the way.
Spontaneous got me an explosion of excuses. Each time it had to escalate just to push me away. Finally, he said, "you don't stimulate me". Later, I stimulated him just to show him I could, then I got off him and left him hanging.
I would have to ask him to just do it to please me, even though it may not be stimulating to him. A particular type of dry masturbation is the only thing that he likes to orgasm. As you might have guessed I have concentrated on a number of techniques that are stimulating. I can get him stimulated and he can orgasm yet, he likes to orgasm by rubbing himself on dry sheets/hose. I fully support masturbation, but would like a selfless act of sex. I would prefer intimate touch as well, but if he decided not to, that is his choice. I don't care if it is starfish sex, it wouldn't bother me, better than nothing. We are kind and love each other, but are more like best friends.
The most success I had was playing porn unannounced then moving in with fellatio. He has to be rested, with a light snack.
He fights my ideas, doesn't like being told what to do and I will have to use the word compromise and he will have to contribute to the planning.
I will tell him how painful it is not to get intimacy, especially during a pandemic. (I have previously negotiated sex with another man, but can't because of the pandemic, he is high risk)
Someone do this with me, let's do this as a small group of people!?!?
What bullet points would you use during your conversation?
If I blame him in anyway, or lose my cool, it will be thwarted.
Would like a heartfelt article like "what it feels like to be in a sexless marriage" or possibly Michelle Wiener's video to start.
I wanted a heartfelt, calm, loving talk with my DH. I have not been successful in the past. This will be a tough case, but I really don't care. I have been told no for so many years that one or two more won't really matter. I am looking for a very organized time frame and I won't get sex unless I set out a good case to get it. Covid alone may not be good enough.
I had better success when it negotiated ahead of time understanding that excuses were not to get in the way.
Spontaneous got me an explosion of excuses. Each time it had to escalate just to push me away. Finally, he said, "you don't stimulate me". Later, I stimulated him just to show him I could, then I got off him and left him hanging.
I would have to ask him to just do it to please me, even though it may not be stimulating to him. A particular type of dry masturbation is the only thing that he likes to orgasm. As you might have guessed I have concentrated on a number of techniques that are stimulating. I can get him stimulated and he can orgasm yet, he likes to orgasm by rubbing himself on dry sheets/hose. I fully support masturbation, but would like a selfless act of sex. I would prefer intimate touch as well, but if he decided not to, that is his choice. I don't care if it is starfish sex, it wouldn't bother me, better than nothing. We are kind and love each other, but are more like best friends.
The most success I had was playing porn unannounced then moving in with fellatio. He has to be rested, with a light snack.
He fights my ideas, doesn't like being told what to do and I will have to use the word compromise and he will have to contribute to the planning.
I will tell him how painful it is not to get intimacy, especially during a pandemic. (I have previously negotiated sex with another man, but can't because of the pandemic, he is high risk)
Someone do this with me, let's do this as a small group of people!?!?
What bullet points would you use during your conversation?
If I blame him in anyway, or lose my cool, it will be thwarted.
Would like a heartfelt article like "what it feels like to be in a sexless marriage" or possibly Michelle Wiener's video to start.