Post by shamwow on Jul 30, 2020 7:02:54 GMT -5
He watches soft vanilla type porn mostly. Shit that I find boring.
It is not an ED problem.
No... It doesn't motivate me to do anything different... I don't think? Can you give me an example of what you thought of in that question?
Thank you for the compliment.
While that may have been helpful advice in the last, I have actually killed any desire I had for him, and accept a platonic relationship. I am anxiously awaiting the pandemic to ease up, or a vaccine to be created or something so I don't fear a hookup with a rando.
Yeah, I prefer being with an actual person too... But to each their own, I guess?
"He doesn't appear to have the skill set, the motivation, the orientation, or most importantly, the desire to be a suitable person for you to have a sexual relationship with."
Thank you. You are right. He's not a bad guy, he's a really great guy. He just.... Needs to figure out a label to give me peace of mind. I know he's different, and I'm fine with that, as long as I'm not being lied to, and I have some way to title what he and I are, or what his sexual orientation is. Pretty sure he's a pornosexual, and that's fine, if he's just honest with me.
I understand your desire for a nice, neat label to understand your husband. Back when I was married, I wanted one too. Is she asexual? Hell, is she gay? If I only had such a label, it wouldn't be "my fault". It would be on her and I could achieve some level of peace.
I never received such an answer, but ballofconfusion did. Her ex is an out-of-the closet homosexual. I can tell you from her experience, though, knowing the "label" for certain does not make it easier. Quite the opposite.
The need to know and presumed peace that comes with it is simply replaced by a feeling of "how the hell could I have not seen this" and "I wasted so many years with that man."
Rather than focusing on the "why" of a label, try it accept the only label you truly know for certain: "I am in a sexless marriage". The why simply doesn't matter.
Make your peace with THAT label and then choose from among your three options: Stay, cheat, or leave.