fish
Junior Member
Posts: 29
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by fish on Jun 13, 2020 4:00:55 GMT -5
So, after 4 or 5 years of swinging from being certain I was going to ask for a divorce, to being certain I could fix the relationship, I have eventually plucked up the courage to book an appointment with a lawyer to discuss where I stand. It feels like I am finally taking some positive steps and not just thinking about it any more, it's like a psychological hurdle and making it feel more real and I actually feel very good and relaxed about it.
It's an hour long appointment next week (via Zoom for social distancing), and it's costing me a lot of money. I thought that I would be better off paying than trying one of the 'free' services so I can use a solicitor I trust. I have sent all my family and financial details by email and the solicitor has asked me to prepare any questions I want to ask.
I'm trying to think what I need to know and other than how I stand financially I'm not really sure what I need to ask. I'm not a big spender and money doesn't really matter to me as long as I have enough to live on, although we do have quite substantial savings, so actually as long as I'm not taken for a complete ride then that's all I need to know. The kids are teenagers so I presume it will be up to them who they spend their time with.
Can anyone advise what I need to ask??
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Post by lessingham on Jun 13, 2020 9:05:41 GMT -5
I cannot give advice, but I can applaud your bravery. Well done.
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Post by ironhamster on Jun 14, 2020 3:31:53 GMT -5
If you want time with your kids, put that in writing for how much time you expect to get.
I expected my kids to visit regularly, and perhaps even spend summers with me. Nope. My ex can feed them subtle negative lines about me day in and day out. After that, they don't voluntarily want to spend time with me, and I can't force them to do so.
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Post by ironhamster on Jun 14, 2020 3:39:30 GMT -5
Know what the law requires you to pay in support, and, for how long.
Ask if you were to delay filing for, say, three years, what steps could you take to maximize your position.
In Illinois, one precedent was that if you left one job for another, alimony could be set according to your new income instead of your previous three years. In theory, a high wage spouse could give up a lucrative job and start delivering pizzas, and alimony would drop accordingly.
Ask if you should get your spouse back in the workforce. I am sure the answer will be "yes."
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fish
Junior Member
Posts: 29
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by fish on Jun 14, 2020 4:18:14 GMT -5
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Post by worksforme2 on Jun 14, 2020 5:34:12 GMT -5
Perhaps the easiest approach might be to simply "google" questions to ask a divorce lawyer. That's what I did initially before seeing my 1st attorney to discuss divorce. Try to keep in mind any unique aspects your marriage may have those others don't, other than being sexless.
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Post by DryCreek on Jun 15, 2020 14:11:25 GMT -5
My suggestion is don’t see just one solicitor. Three will give you a better rounding of knowledge, both because they come at it from different perspectives and because you will have different questions to ask after having seen one or two others. Nobody says you have to hire the ones who offer a free initial session if you don’t think they’re qualified.
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