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Post by baza on May 26, 2020 4:18:43 GMT -5
In another thread, dealing with the value of "the talk" Brother csl said this - "You speak about this being your last option to keep it together. But it doesn't sound like she knows that it is, nor does it sound like you are acting like it is."I thought it was a pretty good point he made, and worth a thread of its' own. There are a whole lot of members here who write stories, for the most part, unhappy stories. Brother csl makes the point however, that if you haven't told your spouse exactly what your issue with them is, then you can't really expect your spouse to know how you are feeling. Further, if your actions are not those of a person unhappy in your marriage (ie - you are hiding your unhappiness) then again, you can't really expect your spouse to know how you are feeling.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2020 6:43:05 GMT -5
Exactly. People aren't mind readers. It's an awkward and uncomfortable conversation to have, but you must have it. Direct, blunt if necessary, honest, full disclosure is required. All cards on the table. Passive aggressive won't fly here if you actually want something to change. I know I hesitated having that conversation a long time because I knew there was risk involved. I may not like my H's response. It wasn't until it became clear that staying in my current SM nightmare was worse than any risk that could possibly befall me that I finally took that leap. No, it wasn't easy. Yes, the marriage ended. BUT, I have no regrets and am absolutely certain I did everything I could possibly do to try to salvage the marriage. My conscience is clear. If you want an honest change, you must speak up. If you just want to bitch, moan, and complain, changing nothing, that's your choice, too.
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Post by mirrororchid on Jun 16, 2020 17:20:35 GMT -5
In another thread, dealing with the value of "the talk" Brother csl said this - "You speak about this being your last option to keep it together. But it doesn't sound like she knows that it is, nor does it sound like you are acting like it is."I thought it was a pretty good point he made, and worth a thread of its' own. There are a whole lot of members here who write stories, for the most part, unhappy stories. Brother csl makes the point however, that if you haven't told your spouse exactly what your issue with them is, then you can't really expect your spouse to know how you are feeling. Further, if your actions are not those of a person unhappy in your marriage (ie - you are hiding your unhappiness) then again, you can't really expect your spouse to know how you are feeling. Sounds like what we have here is *a* talk. Not "The Talk" (tm) I tend to gather that "The Talk" has consequences delineated or at least strongly understood to exist, if not precisely specified. Action follows "The Talk" *a* talk can happen any number of times and probably should, before "The Talk", so as to justify something drastic. Forgive me if I'm getting pedantic.
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