Post by ScottDinTN on Mar 24, 2020 10:21:08 GMT -5
Social distancing is a new term we didn't use much before a few weeks ago. But we in sexless marriages have been experiencing it for years from our partners.
What distancing has your relationship experienced over the years?
My Wife: - Doesn't want to be touched ever while sleeping - Always sits in a chair at home that I can't sit beside her to cuddle - We take separate vacations ("for the sake of someone being home with the dog") - She wouldn't let me kiss her more than a peck on the cheek
Me (since giving up on my wife changing): - No holding hands - No hugs - No kisses - Never say I love you - Moved to the basement to see her as little as possible
Post by bozodeclowne on Mar 25, 2020 16:58:49 GMT -5
Interesting. I'm having more trouble than I would have thought with this social distancing business. I guess it is that in addition to the usual from the spouse, I'm also having to be distant with everyone else too. I'm not really a touchy-feely guy, but having no human contact at all really sucks.
The thing is, it's not really no contact at all. You see, when my wife was a little girl she would sit with her mother on the couch in the evenings and Mom would scratch her back. Long story short, I've filled that role every night (barring work trips) since we met, right up to present day. 32 years of scratching back and legs, all under clothes, for hours at a time. When we entered SM land, the frustration of that sort of contact was killing me, especially when it continued from couch to bed. The constant cooing and moans of pleasure didn't help either. Now it just pisses me off, but I sleep on a futon in the basement, so at least no more bedtime scratching.
It's been 15 months now since she stopped all forms of affection toward me completely, with no explanation. No hugs, kisses, I-love-yous, etc. No accidental touches, or even a shoulder punch in response to one of my dumb jokes. Zilch. The only contact we have at all is that nightly scratching. It reminds me of the girl I fell in love with, and always hoped would return. Stupid, I know, but taking that last bit of contact away means...so many things.
Last Edit: Mar 27, 2020 15:06:23 GMT -5 by bozodeclowne: slight edit to maintain anonymity.
Bozodeclowne, I used to do the back and foot rubs. I quit because it was give give and give without getting in return. My giver became empty so rather than be frustrated I just quit giving. Yes it is difficult at first but giving and giving leads to resentments. So rather than be resentful, just quit giving. Life for me is better once some of the resentments dissolved.
My wife complains a lot. I used to work on how to reduce her complaints. Not much worked so now when she complains I just consider who she is and do not try to avoid or reduce her complaints.
Tonight I served hamburgers and she didn't like the bun we had available so I asked "bun or no bun." I wasn't about to go to the store because I have been advised to self-isolate for the past 10 days and another 6 weeks in the future.
My attitude is "screw the complaints." Make due with "what is" rather than what my W wants.
Yes it takes a while to feel comfortable with the role I play. TS (tough shit) deal with life as it is.
petrushka: Thank you! Had a great party with the boardgamers group (and BBQ, cakes and cards!)
Jan 18, 2020 20:14:00 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: You're welcome! Sounds like a wonderful way to celebrate
Jan 18, 2020 22:10:28 GMT -5
frednsa: yaaaaiiiiiieeeeoooooouuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeekkkkkkkkk ! OK, if feel better now.....
Feb 29, 2020 18:14:01 GMT -5
petrushka: Glad you got that off your chest ;-)
Mar 6, 2020 23:35:38 GMT -5
worksforme2: It is a sad day here in my small town, the only cinema has closed...it's probably close to 30 miles to get to one now...
Mar 7, 2020 19:48:28 GMT -5
worksforme2: Since our esteemed governor has declared a state of emergency here in NC (a total of 12 cases so far) the hording of toilet paper has begun. Is diarrhea a part of covid 19? I see Lowes and Home Depot have quick install toilet retro fit bidets.
Mar 13, 2020 10:34:57 GMT -5
petrushka: I've no idea what it is with the toilet paper hoarding. I walked out of a supermarket yesterday and saw a woman with the jumbo sized trolley and some 4x 18 roll packs of toilet paper. Nuts. Completely nuts. Incidentally, a bidet is definitely the way to go
Mar 14, 2020 6:18:43 GMT -5
petrushka: Even her little 5 or 6 year old was questioning her purchase!
Mar 14, 2020 6:25:44 GMT -5
petrushka: One of my favourite quotes for the last 30 years: "don't ever look a sheep in the eyes, the intellectual vacuum may suck your brains out". Well, let's all drink to the sheeple! (besides, alcohol is a good disinfectant).
Mar 14, 2020 6:31:26 GMT -5
frednsa: so...............i'd like to tell her when she "attempts to placate me": have you ever been invited to a party where you knew for certain that you WEREN'T wanted ?
Mar 19, 2020 15:57:05 GMT -5
worksforme2: Former Miss Hawaii tests positive. Being the gallant lad that I am I have offered her the use of my guest bedroom to "shelter in place"..
Mar 23, 2020 20:34:21 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hey tamara68, there is a covid19 positive cat in Belgium, watch out for it.
Mar 30, 2020 14:05:56 GMT -5
tamara68: @worksforme I think I have to be more careful for all infected people. Most likely I already have Covid19
Apr 1, 2020 3:29:42 GMT -5