Like the Hotel California, we can check in but never leave. Been a while but hi there. Things have been tough but weird. Sex desert over Christmas, no surprises there but she made an effort on Valentine's Night and we made love. Been three times so far this year. Old sexless marriage habit of remembering to note the times. So, if this continues we are out of the official definition of sexless. Once a month is 12 times and 2 above the 10 times definition. Things are still bad, but a glimmer of hope perhaps. Maybe we'll pass the Woody Allen definition of sexless, "getting less than the other guy"!!!!!
Good to hear from you. I think — way back when, earlier in my marriage — I would have been happy with 1x a month. Better than the nothing that was. But no longer would that be enough for me. I desire intimacy that isn’t just the act of sex. I haven’t given up on leaving. As I talk more with PIALMT, we are forming more of a plan (we have some stuff to sort out re:house/living arrangements/parenting agreement ).
Here’s hoping you get more than the other guy.
"The capacity that people have to love... Where does it go?" -- Truly, Madly, Deeply
mirrororchid - met him on an app. Not tinder. I tend to ask a lot of questions. Became a bit of an inside joke, “the questionnaire.” And whether or not he passed muster. Despite appearances, I’m highly cautious and the questions dug fairly deeply in an effort to get a sense of his emotional intelligence/ability to dig into the hard stuff that comes up in rel’ships.
I’m not sure where Poly comes in. I don’t have an intimate rel’ship with PIALMT. We are well past the point of no return.
Spouses can enjoy seeing each other happy. This applies to a promotion, winning a tennis match, or delighting in a dog that takes a shine to zer.
While your relationship isn't intimate, perhaps your refuser would have to admit it's a happier household when basic human needs aren't being neglected. This may take the final step to being glad for you, since he's not been fulfilling this important role.
Being glad your spouse is sexually fulfilled by another is usually a poly thing. In an SM, it can be platonically poly (economic, emotional, other), but sexually monogamous (not the spouse.)
I overgeneralized in a confusing manner, 'tis true.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
jim44444: Happy Vernal Equinox. Go out and frolic.
Mar 20, 2021 19:16:35 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Vernal Equinox....Be fruitful and multiply...
Mar 21, 2021 5:18:36 GMT -5
petrushka: Just attended a lecture on local history. Apparently the Presbyterian Scottish refugees who settled here called a 'frolic', what the Amish would call a 'barn raising'. First a working bee, then dancing and feasting.
Mar 25, 2021 22:43:53 GMT -5
jerri: Pressing the like sign for all those comments.
Mar 26, 2021 15:04:52 GMT -5
worksforme2: Lucked onto a great new source for breaking news----The Babylon Bee
Mar 28, 2021 12:47:45 GMT -5
catlover: The resentment is running high today
Mar 28, 2021 18:39:08 GMT -5
mirrororchid: Sorry, dude. I think resentment has been the fuel for action in some SMs. It can be part of a process, eventually helpful.
Mar 30, 2021 4:43:40 GMT -5
Handy: I just read "The Babylon Bee" article "Blockage Cleared, Ships Moving At Record Speed As Chick-Fil-A Workers Put In Charge Of Suez Canal." Good humor.
Mar 30, 2021 16:49:51 GMT -5
worksforme2: Freezing temps in the morning for the next 3 days= no peaches in the fall for me unless I buy them,... 2 yrs in a row...growing my own fruit has proven to be a losing proposition
Apr 1, 2021 16:32:30 GMT -5
Handy: Meet the Feebles=weird!
Apr 1, 2021 18:22:06 GMT -5
jerri: Lots of interesting comments. I am way behind. Sending hugs and a kiss on the cheek💋
Apr 8, 2021 0:11:19 GMT -5
roy: Hi All, I just joined, at 77. I've been in a sexless marriage for too many years ...
Apr 9, 2021 15:26:32 GMT -5
petrushka: G'day Roy, welcome to the place most of us don't want to be. I am sure you will find lots of interesting personal stories and comments and reactions on the forum. Don't be shy about jumping in to talks ...
Apr 9, 2021 15:47:25 GMT -5