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Post by Handy on Mar 5, 2020 11:32:44 GMT -5
In my circle of friends and relatives, it seems women talk a lot more than the men I know. What are your experiences.
My mother went on and on talking about stuff in her life way before I was born after my dad died. I chalked it up to her not having a same age companion. Some of what she said was family history or significant events in her life. The part I had trouble with was the old family gossip and things that were repeated over and over again.
My W goes on and on about what she she saw on FOX news (opinion more than news). She also talks to the animals a lot, sometimes in baby voices. Then she talks about people she knows about subjects I have no knowledge, such as commenting about things currently voiced on the TV. This mostly happens when the TV volume is high because she has hearing loss. Her voice does not carry far and she talks to someone or something from a room or two away, which is barely hear able to me. Her voice is sort of higher pitched and that is where I too have a hearing loss (high frequency hearing loss) so I have no idea what she is saying, plus she starts conversations with her opinion and leaves out the "who, what, where and when parts.
Two more women I know, talk and take up more than 50% to 75% of the time if there are 4 of us in a group. Another very intelligent woman has interesting stories but talks for 50 minuets out of the hour if were are in a small group.
One woman I know mostly listens. I stop and ask for her opinion or experiences.
Another woman I visit with takes out her cell phone and shows me the pictures of her family and people she knows. My interest wains in a few minuets.
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Post by DryCreek on Mar 5, 2020 13:20:39 GMT -5
Handy, it sounds like you would benefit from hanging out with people who share common interests with you. It makes the conversations far more two-way and interesting. Time is our most precious resource; don’t waste it.
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Post by baza on Mar 5, 2020 17:12:15 GMT -5
In my experience this "talking a lot" is not gender specific.
One of my good mates is a notorious conversational high-jacker and when he gets going, talking louder and louder, and faster and faster, I just tune him out until he runs out of gas.
Within my loose affiliation of friends (and partners of friends) there's a few who like to talk, but not listen.
But as I said above, it's not gender specific in my experience.
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Post by Handy on Mar 6, 2020 0:37:53 GMT -5
I was wondering if I was just too quiet. My W goes to bed and I stay up for another 2 to 4 hrs because I enjoy the quiet, no talking, no TV, no barking dogs, plus there are some good Youtube Videos I can hear with out the TV blaring so I actually hear what is said on the videos.
I agree, common interests help to make for two way conversation. My interests and knowledge base seems to be different than some or many people I encounter. Sometimes I feel that my interests are different than many other people, which leads to me not fitting in.
I know women that talk about clothes and stylish things. I have little interest in most style topics. My cloths have to be durable and practical. I am also taller than most people so I have to be concerned first about fit and style takes a back seat.
Anyway there are so many things that comprise compatibility, it seems that compatibility is difficult to achieve.
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Post by lessingham on Mar 6, 2020 7:54:06 GMT -5
I recall a teacher talking about working class children. She had been taught they are inarticulate and hardly talk. This was true in the classrooms. However one day she walked home behind a kid with his mum. The boy never shut up. The moral is, I suppose, we like stereotypes. Research shows the talk gap is not as huge between the sexes as you imagine.
When I tuned in to office conversations women tended to ask secondary questions.
Man: this sandwich is stale.
Mate:better bin it.
Woman:this sandwich is stale.
Mate:Oh, what's the matter with it.
Woman: the bread is stale. I find supermarket bread does not last.
Mate:I bake my own, I'll give you the recipe. Better bin the sandwich.
Same destination, better tour guide.
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Post by jamesbonding on Mar 31, 2020 7:11:55 GMT -5
Handy , I'd suggest you visit an audiologist and get a good set of hearing aids. I've got high frequency hearing loss too. Usually, I can understand what people say if we are face-to-face. But if they are 10 feet away, sometimes (without hearing aids) I just hear a stream of syllables, but have no idea what they said. Hearing aids help a lot with understanding people in real life, as well as over the phone, and when listening to TV or videos on the computer.
They probably won't make boring monologues any more interesting, though. :-(
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Post by Handy on Mar 31, 2020 10:09:21 GMT -5
Jamesbonding
They probably won't make boring monologues any more interesting, though. :-(
I have some very good hearing aids. My W also has hearing aids but won't wear hers so she increases the volume on the TV (14 hours a day) and she has a soft voice, so the TV is louder than her voice. I understand more of what is going on with the TV than her.
She also talks in a lot in part sentences so I don't understand what she is getting at properly and most of the time even if I hear her, I have no idea what she is talking about because I don't see what is on the TV. In addition she does the slightly baby-talk thing to the cats and dogs or just outright gives her opinion to what was said on TV, which I try to ignore because I don't follow what is happening on the TV.
If I want uninterrupted viewing of the news, I have to go into my bedroom to get away from her opinions of what the news caster said. I don't want her opinion of what a person on the TV said.
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Post by csl on Mar 31, 2020 20:40:18 GMT -5
Oh, there' so many ways I could go with this!, I just experienced a traffic jam in my brain!  |
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Post by Handy on Mar 31, 2020 23:54:51 GMT -5
OK no barking dogs. I would never bake a dog unless it was what the US calls a hotdog, AKA a Frankfurter.
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Post by lessingham on Apr 1, 2020 5:17:54 GMT -5
In my prepping book the author calls a dog a good companion, great hunter, good guard and last meal!!
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Post by northstarmom on Apr 19, 2020 13:13:19 GMT -5
Getting involved in activities that interest you, and then gravitating to people there whose company you enjoy is how to find compatible people. Gravitating toward people who need rides or other help from you probably will lead to your being around incompatible bores. If you don’t find a person interesting, don’t hang around them.
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