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Rules
Feb 21, 2020 16:12:05 GMT -5
Post by worksforme2 on Feb 21, 2020 16:12:05 GMT -5
When I was in marital therapy, within a month or two of calling it quits - the clumsy therapist chose to reassure my wife that I was onboard with "taking the pressure off". "What if he needs to have sex?" "Don't worry, he can just go to the bathroom and flush it down the toilet instead." And were you "on board" with this approach to taking the pressure off?
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Post by Apocrypha on Feb 21, 2020 16:48:07 GMT -5
When I was in marital therapy, within a month or two of calling it quits - the clumsy therapist chose to reassure my wife that I was onboard with "taking the pressure off". "What if he needs to have sex?" "Don't worry, he can just go to the bathroom and flush it down the toilet instead." And were you "on board" with this approach to taking the pressure off? I pay a lot of attention to the things people say, without them realizing what they say. To how people "frame" something. So when the psychologist helpfully framed my sexual contribution within a marriage as an excretory function, to literally be managed with tissue and a toilet, discretely, I realized I was out. I quit counselling and a couple months later, split. As for "taking the pressure off" - after over a decade of crisis level celibacy in marriage, I had conditioned to associate it with loneliness and sadness, and even self-contempt for it. Like lancing a pimple or tending a wound. To this day, I still am reluctant to, because sometimes bits of those feelings creep in.
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Post by nyctos on Feb 23, 2020 12:09:54 GMT -5
Let's see if I can actually even remember the rules...
Not if she's to close to being asleep, but also not without massaging her feet first (which tends to put her to sleep, sometimes within a minute or two. I had to hit exactly the right timing.)
Not with the lights on.
Not when it's too hot, nor too cold.
There are more, they are all relatively simple but added up to the same thing.
In the first five years, we'd had sex on a rowboat during the day, in a church pew while a town festival was going on, clothed or naked, didn't matter. She initiated as much as I did.
Then it just stopped.
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Post by ironhamster on Feb 28, 2020 17:54:33 GMT -5
Rules. Excuses, not reasons.
My ex had a rule that I could not wake her. I obliged her. When I worked first shift, she stayed up late. When I worked second shift, she went to bed early. There was no morning sex when I was on third.
My last year, she set a date for having sex when I got home from second shift, and was asleep when I got home. Well, we had a deal for THAT night, so I woke her as gently as possible, intent on holding her to her word. She was not in any way pleased.
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dd
Junior Member
Posts: 50
Age Range: 41-45
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Rules
Mar 11, 2020 11:38:01 GMT -5
Post by dd on Mar 11, 2020 11:38:01 GMT -5
I think I posted in a different thread.
- Lights out - Dark - Not too late - After kids go to bed - Not on an evening before a work day - Not on any evening before something important - Her top stays on - No kissing, maybe a peck - Not more than a couple minutes- Missionary only - Not right after new sheets - Sheets get changed afterwards - Go separate ways after - Don't use any saliva as lube - I need to be recently showered. (Nothing sweaty) - There was a time limit
I'm sure I'm missing some. She got upset one time because she thought I was milking out my orgasm a bit too long.
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