My day is constantly consumed by my sm Feb 3, 2020 12:10:06 GMT -5
Post by apocrypha on Feb 3, 2020 12:10:06 GMT -5
No, she did not. But frankly, it didn't matter - the data were in.
She'd had an affair.
While in therapy.
It was an enormously shitty thing for her to do, at a time when all stops were out by me to support her as a parent and in her career, and it was after a period of a few years of unwanted celibacy.
A lot was at stake - and she chose to jeopardize her marriage AND her career to do it.
So it's not like she was aesexual.
She proposed an open relationship, and did pretty well for herself in it.
But still managed to break every rule and courtesy she agreed to, to do it. And eventually went celibate again but only with me.
She also clarified the role the open relationship played as going outside to discover sexual joy, and then to come back to me to spend it. Her actual words, which I believe she intended to be assuring.
And literally the day after we agreed to separate, her dating profile was up, and I happened upon her open phone (conveniently open on my cutting board at dinner time), indicating her positive reply to one of many ads for a "boy toy" - who she dated for 4-5 years, only to discover in the past couple of months that he was married and cheating on his wife and family.
I can't speak to the quality or character or success of whatever relationships she embarks on, and I don't much care to look. But it's crystal clear to me and I don't require her verbal agreement - that there is consistency in her own desire for sexual connection with people, and of her specific avoidance of that with me.