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Post by workingonit on Mar 17, 2020 18:49:04 GMT -5
OMG itme when it rains it f-ing POURS!! I am so sorry your life is having triggering challenge after triggering challenge! But hear what Baza says- you ARE doing it. You are not giving up. You are not self destructive. This is you facing the darkness and NOT. GIVING. IN. Keep keeping on. You are building resilience and deepening your capacity for joy. I 100% believe that. |
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Post by saarinista on Mar 18, 2020 13:35:32 GMT -5
Things might not get better. But they probably will. itme I advise you to stay engaged and see how things turn out. You've got this. |
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Post by Handy on Apr 2, 2020 3:00:24 GMT -5
Padgemi, I know it is difficult to lose respect and attention from family but what might help is people do things and the why they do them is not always what we think is the reason they did them.
Point 2 is we as a group of individuals, individually need to see our own self worth before others see us as worthy.
OK I admit to listening to motivational materials that say self worth comes before others value us.
It is 2AM and yes, "I" need to go to bed. Staying up or not sleeping until 4 AM isn't a good plan.
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Post by mirrororchid on Apr 2, 2020 5:46:03 GMT -5
All those years Couldn’t muster tears But since “yes” said she plain now fall they like rain It’s not today anymore, but it seems like only today that yesterday’s crying jag award went to me, after learning that all those calls and texts to my oldest were not simply being neglected. She is full on socially-isolating from dear ol’ dud now. Maybe from Mom too, but seemingly less so. My youngest is standing by my side, and I’ve never been so grateful for anything, ever. Look away - they’re flowing again. And I should be asleep. Let’s try that again... Maybe take the younger out for a hike (or ice cream if COVID doesn't have you pinned down? Where I am, it's okay to walk outside, family is exempted from the six foot rule. I'd been looking at Meetups for Volleyball and hiking pre-COVID and played laser tag before COVID shut down everything. Maybe dedicate 15-20 minutes towards looking at which groups to try when the curtain lifts off the country? I feel neglectful if I don't join the wife immediately after work. It's co-dependent of me, but I did that laser tag on Mondays. It felt a little wrong, but the aerobic benefits overrode the disproportionate emotional pull. You'll need to fill in gaps where your SM filled your hours (however joylessly). Dipping your toes in this research of fun might give you beacons of hope while you trudge through the dark? I "liked" your list of disasters post. The Job salut made me chuckle. I liked your spirit and I supported your struggle. "Like" is not quite right, but it deserved recognition. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 5, 2020 19:18:41 GMT -5
What's going on with the family court system in your area? Is it all shut down? Any idea how long the delay will be?
My 2 cents, Mediation, just another tool to prolong the divorce as your STBX attempts to control her attorneys and manipulate everyone involved in your divorce. Hopefully your attorney says " forget it, it's a waste of time. Lets go to the right judge". Hopefully it CAN give your attorney more ammunition in your favor.
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Post by Handy on Apr 6, 2020 1:10:59 GMT -5
Cat turd throwing? That is disgusting but that is what some stupid people (low on moral ethics) do.
With 3 cats in my house, I could send you some in-kind ammunition. I think I could find a 3 gallon bucket to fill in a week or two.
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 9, 2020 19:39:47 GMT -5
My STBX and her atty are a match made in Death Valley. They both love to bury their heads in the sand. Probably looking for cat turds to throw at me.  Just finished reading this. Much of this has been said before. Much of this was the same advice given to me. I followed most of this advice. The healing continues,it does get better! medium.com/invisible-illness/this-is-how-you-divorce-a-narcissist-adaf2ab46ca8Having a gorgeous, tranquil night here,the full moon, the mild ocean breezes through the palm trees, and a comforting person beside me. Quiet a difference from my posts two to three years ago! |
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Post by sadkat on Apr 25, 2020 9:00:47 GMT -5
Hopefully things go well itme. Also hoping this is over soon! |
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 25, 2020 11:05:38 GMT -5
My lawyer detected a sign from hers that W desperately wants me out of the house... 😁😁😁 🎈🎈🎈😁😁😁🕺🏽🕺🏽🕺🏽😁😁😁🎉🎉🎉😁😁😁!!! That sounds like something that might be leveraged toward something you want, say more time with the children.... |
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Post by elynne on May 20, 2020 1:40:40 GMT -5
After a grueling 9 hours in mediation, it appears we have an accord. I think I’ll crawl in bed now and try to catch up on 13 years worth of missed peaceful sleep... I remember grueling mediation sessions. 6 months of them. And a feeling of elation when I discovered I was finally free. And then another few months of finding my equilibrium, relearning what normal relationships are like, relearning to listen to myself and discovering what I like. And also mourning the loss of what I had hoped my marriage would be. Coming to terms with that sadness and accepting it as a small price for my current happiness and freedom. There will be ups and downs itme. But keep making good choices, treat yourself well, and the trend is definitely up from here. Congratulations. And well done. It’s not an easy path and you’ve shown resilience and courage. Can’t wait to see what good things the future has in store for you. Hug. |
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Post by Handy on May 20, 2020 22:42:26 GMT -5
Just decaf coffee here, but congratulations. I did have some very good black grapes. To me the grapes are better than Champagne.
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Post by sadkat on May 20, 2020 23:38:56 GMT -5
Marital. Dissolution. Agreement. Now bears 2 signatures. Champagne, anyone?  Here’s to a brighter and happier future @ padgemi! I’m glad you made it. |
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Post by mirrororchid on May 22, 2020 5:25:24 GMT -5
Marital. Dissolution. Agreement. Now bears 2 signatures. Champagne, anyone? Show us the same pic with two filled flutes one day ...but you'll need more chocolate spread. |
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Post by sadkat on Jun 7, 2020 10:02:00 GMT -5
Does anybody want to come celebrate my 41st with me, the dentist, the cable guy and the mattress delivery crew? ‘Cause when else am I gonna get all this shit done? 🥳 PS- it will also be my very first parenting day as a single dad. 🤪 I’m gonna need more champagne flutes... When is this celebration? When do you finally get to move into your new place? Congrats on the next stage of your new life! There will be ups and downs but you will do great! And you’ll find yourself a lot happier in the long run! |
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Post by saarinista on Jun 7, 2020 13:29:24 GMT -5
Does anybody want to come celebrate my 41st with me, the dentist, the cable guy and the mattress delivery crew? ‘Cause when else am I gonna get all this shit done? 🥳 PS- it will also be my very first parenting day as a single dad. 🤪 I’m gonna need more champagne flutes... More champagne flutes for the kiddies? 😁 |
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