She said “YES!”

itme, one key observation: you’re being passive; she’s being assertive. You are letting yourself get steamrolled.

You: “I can be available to do X with the kids”
Her: “No. I’m doing it.”

Needs to turn into: “I’ll be going along on troop X activity next weekend.” And if your kids have a practice, etc., you can still be there even if you’re not the one driving them.

You’re literally handing her the opportunities to shut you out. Don’t do that. You need to be more confrontational here and tackle the behavior head-on. A la, “I intend to play an active role in my children’s lives, and I won’t accept you trying to shut me out by dominating their time and activities.”

Start keeping a log, and talk to your lawyer about this behavior. An e-mail trail will be very convenient later, if you guys communicate that way.

itme I am very sorry to hear about your circumstances.

I have no direct experience to offer, and live in a country which seems to have a much different culture in terms of family law and practices. However, my thoughts are in line with those of DryCreek I wonder if your reprehensible W is lining you up for criticism of not taking an active part in the activities of your children. Of course you should not have to coerce your way into this world, but it may be to your advantage to think about it. Very hard when you are already feeling low and dreadful I know. 

I do have quite a bit of experience working with children in different, but highly disadvantaged circumstances and can reassure you that whatever witchcraft can be applied to children (even the youngest of children) by adults in an attempt to 'turn' them from a parent is always unsuccessful in the long run. Think of those children dreadfully abused and neglected by dysfunctional parents- their kids continue to love them, remain loyal to them and those familial ties are unbreakable despite that not necessarily being a wonderful thing. So, consider the parent you have been. Can W really make that vanish in a puff of smoke now that it suits her? Not a chance. At present your children are likely not to have the autonomy or social agency to express that they comprehend or even understand the games your W is choosing to play, but in the long run that bond you have with them will override it all, and you will have them back in mind and spirit. No help today I am sure, but as you have identified, take it one breath at a time and have confidence in yourself and your parenting. It will come good. 

I am not sure if you have discussed this already but do you have some solid support to help you through this horrible experience? 

I sooo very much agree with this! (sadly my story relates to yours).

I had/have a friend like DryCreek whom I met with in person and over the phone weekly and in between. Someone who would tell me directly " this is business only. Avoid any emotions, stick to the facts and tell her " no". Then tell her exactly how it is going to be. Then follow through. Text her and send it to your attorney as well. I will help you word it!"   What a God send!!

My attorney would do much of the same, but with a huge $$$. My friend? No $$$ just support.

Your STBX is way ahead of you with her "flying monkeys" (her click) and their "all men are scum, you go girl" behavior. Sadly she is already using the kids as a weapon against you. Don't expect family court to intervene. She will continue to get away with it.  

Go over her head, call your daughters troop leader and make a reservation and tell your daughters, " daddy is going with you, I so look forward to it, it will be fun". Pack your things and leave early. However, at the same time proceed with caution! If things get physical, or violent, retreet, drop the rope. Inform your attorney as soon as possible, have a bag packed just in case. (that's what I went through. And was advised to do so by my therapist, who endured the same thing!)

My daughters where in American Heritage Girls and I was not allowed to sit in on their meetings or participate because I am not female. You can bet my ex took full advantage of it! It was my own daughters who decided to no longer be a part of "those women" and their behavior.

Thanks for the update itme. It’s likely they will try to drag this out more. It only benefits the lawyer, though. It’s a shame w can’t see that. Hang In there!

This times 1 million.  I honestly can't blame my husband for not wanting sex anymore because his first wife was a total beast in their divorce (no I was not part of it but who cares if I had been?)  

He filed, then disregarded his attorneys advice and tried to be nice to her instead of following the attorney's advice.  He regrets that, but still is glad he's away from her and so am I..  

Again, some people are just mean and itme your wife sounds mean and vindictive.  You MUST take care of you now. for you and your kids.  She's a professional and she can live without you. She's been disdaining you anyway.  To heck with her BS.  

Take care of you by listening to your attorney is my advice too (assuming s/he is at least half knowledgeable.) 

You are going to be fine.  You are courageous and your wife is showing her true colors to all around.  Sad! 

This is ridiculous: “ 3. As to Husband's request to be primary residential parent, Wife would show that Husband is neither fit nor proper for such and has admitted that he has been diagnosed as Bi-Polar Disorder and as such, he is not sufficiently stable to care for minor children and further, any visitation, if awarded to Husband, should be with a supervisor subject to Wife's reasonable approval."

Keep documenting how you wife trusts you now to care for the children without supervision. This will allow the lawyers and judge to see how petty and vindictive your wife is.

Northstarmom
This will allow the lawyers and judge to see how petty and vindictive your wife is.

Petty and vindictive is correct.