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Post by shamwow on Nov 14, 2019 18:59:13 GMT -5
I agree with Baza. You said that the business is none of her business. Actually in many (most) jurisdictions, it is literally half of her business. A good attorney will provide guidance to your specific situation. Good luck, brother. I guess the judge will see it that way, but I poured the last 2+++ years of my life into it and she barely lifted a finger to help me, even those 2 or 3 times I dared ask. So I guess you might say I have some entitlement mentality about it. :-) I hear you on that, man. Hard not to when you busted your ass to get it off the ground. |
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Post by angeleyes65 on Nov 18, 2019 9:46:23 GMT -5
Happy for you! It is surreal once the words are out. My instinct was to smooth it over but I just left it and moved forward. Very stressful but SO totally WORTH IT!
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Post by padgemi on Nov 28, 2019 8:25:23 GMT -5
Update: I have reviewed the draft prepared by my attorney and have to provide missing info by Monday. In the draft she suggested a move out date of 12/31 even though the judge may not sign off ‘till February. But if W signs this document before 12/31, I’m totally on board with starting 2020 fresh.
Thoughts?
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Post by worksforme2 on Nov 28, 2019 8:32:42 GMT -5
If you are pleased and satisfied with the way things are progressing then I'm happy for you.
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Post by sadkat on Nov 28, 2019 9:42:55 GMT -5
Update: I have reviewed the draft prepared by my attorney and have to provide missing info by Monday. In the draft she suggested a move out date of 12/31 even though the judge may not sign off ‘till February. But if W signs this document before 12/31, I’m totally on board with starting 2020 fresh. Thoughts? The Holidays are stressful in and of themselves. I found the “moving out” piece to be one of the hardest parts of my journey. If it were me, I’d wait until January 31. Your situation may be totally different so my only advice is to listen to your gut. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Nov 28, 2019 10:33:30 GMT -5
Moving out has a lot of other variables to it. I am assuming these have been put into writing by your attorney?
Things like the dividing of furniture, the value of the house, the selling of the house, How big a place will you need? depending on the parenting plan? the cars, the jewelry, etc... Will you remain in a school district? What if you can't find a suitable place? is there a clause for an extension of your moving out date?
Be aware of your STBX rushing you along before the ink dries, so she can have the upper hand on missing assets and money that is hidden.
In many cases the wheels turn slow, meaning your case could get postponed multiple times. Meanwhile these postponements can lead to more 'discoveries' that change the entire original agreements. Some attorneys are more than happy to do a half baked job, take your money and move on to the next client.
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Post by padgemi on Dec 3, 2019 22:52:25 GMT -5
The documents have been transmitted to the STBX...
Whether I get any sleep tonight remains to be discovered.
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Post by sadkat on Dec 4, 2019 0:20:06 GMT -5
The documents have been transmitted to the STBX... Whether I get any sleep tonight remains to be discovered. I hope you have a peaceful sleep. Although you may be sad, aren’t you feeling a bit of relief and a sense that this is the right thing to do? |
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Post by padgemi on Dec 4, 2019 21:03:43 GMT -5
I got 7 hours undisturbed, which is more than the past several nights.
So she’s out of town today on business. She called an hour ago to talk to the kids and when I said “they’re at church” she hung up. I’d say that’s a pretty good sign she’s read it. :-)
Yes I feel relieved, but I think I’ll feel even better when she SIGNS it!
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Post by padgemi on Dec 6, 2019 8:47:37 GMT -5
She got back home and I can 100% confirm she read it.
Through all the little bedroom rejections over the past 13 years, I can say last night was the 1st time I've been kicked out of bed.
Trying to be grateful for the little things right now. :-)
As much as the snob in me refused to downgrade myself from the sealy to the couch, I had a better night's sleep on that couch than I've had in ages!
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Post by worksforme2 on Dec 6, 2019 9:07:50 GMT -5
padgemi...why did you end up on the couch? If she was adamant that she didn't want to share her sleeping space with you then she should have moved to the couch.
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Post by greatcoastal on Dec 6, 2019 10:02:27 GMT -5
padgemi...why did you end up on the couch? If she was adamant that she didn't want to share her sleeping space with you then she should have moved to the couch. I wondered that myself? However, let's focus on the POSITIVE. This shows your willingness to change, to adapt and move outside your level of comfort. There's more to come, but in the end it so well worth it! Here's to new beginnings! |
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Post by hopingforachange on Dec 6, 2019 13:30:59 GMT -5
Well, since she has that bed, or sounds like you can use family money to buy yourself a bed.
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Post by padgemi on Dec 6, 2019 18:20:05 GMT -5
padgemi...why did you end up on the couch? If she was adamant that she didn't want to share her sleeping space with you then she should have moved to the couch. I considered the alternative, but I was extremely tired and wanted sleep more than a fight. I got a little bit of a fight anyway, and of course the kids were listening and that is how they found out. W accused me of ruining Christmas, to which I responded “THAT’S what you’re worried about right now?” In reality, I had no intention of telling anyone outside of you guys and my therapist before Xmas. In reality, she’s to blame for ruining our kids’ Christmas. |
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Post by northstarmom on Dec 6, 2019 18:41:47 GMT -5
Makes sense to sleep in separate beds if one is getting a divorce. Why sleep next to a person whom you are separating your life from? Sleeping on a couch or spare room would be more comfortable. A couple of years before divorcing I moved to the couch. The couch was more cuddly than my refuser.
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I have read multiple threads. I was very impressed with all the different solutions everyone has found. Intellectual group and the camaraderie is nice