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Post by ironhamster on Nov 11, 2019 0:36:32 GMT -5
Once I gave up, I felt a lot better.
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Post by h on Dec 5, 2019 15:37:44 GMT -5
I regret all the years I wasted on hope. Hope kept me striving for the impossible and blind to the truth. Once I stopped hoping, I felt much more at peace. I stopped worrying and working to fix the unfixable problems and started devoting more of my effort towards things I actually have control over. Hope was my enemy and stole too much of my time.
I can't control the decisions my wife has made. I can't go back in time and refute the nonsense I was taught growing up. The events of the past are unchangeable. All I can do is deal with what is going forward and hoping for the impossible will not help me do that.
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Post by timeforliving2 on Dec 5, 2019 18:05:38 GMT -5
Hope is all I have left. Not that my wife will change, that will not happen. Hope that one day before I'm too old I will have sex again and even hope for a fulfilling and active sex life. Every day I get a little older and every day the hope fades a little bit more. But it is still there for me and I do all I can to imagine a wonderful life in the future. At my age I know I'm really pushing that pipe dream, but still I won't give up my hope. My wife is very sick and I know my time will come someday just not sure when. Until then though, I am fully committed to taking care of my wife and making her days as good as possible. But hope for after that keeps me from going insane over being sexless now. RealMustangGuy, your attitude and approach is admirable. Though difficult I think you are doing the right thing. There are so many people who remarry or find another committed partner after age 55 that I personally know or have heard or read about, so keep the faith. In addition to caring for your wife during her illness and apparent final years or months, focus on being / becoming a better you... That's one of the few things you can control... You'll be happier now and you'll be happier in the next chapter.
TL2
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2019 12:47:43 GMT -5
Hoping for a SM turnaround is generally a fools errand. You have to either be OK with where you are in the relationship or move on. There are plenty of things in life that aren't a misplaced area for hope, put your energies there. Changing someone else, particularly if they don't want an intimate relationship with you, isn't one of them.
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