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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 25, 2019 11:27:33 GMT -5
I showed up to work at the beginning of the week ,and got asked, " have you heard about what's been going on?" I was then told about the affairs going on between my manager (female), another manager (male), at the office and a manager in training (female)!
I thought that my years on this forum would have me well informed and capable of handling and understanding such a situation.... Instead it just seems to get crazier by the day!!
Is their SM involved? Hard to know. There's 3 sides to every story. His side, her side, and the truth.
Both managers are married. One has kids ( a recently born baby and 3 other kids) the other has no children, the other is single.
The story came out when one of the spouses started coming to the office, several days in a row, and the police had to be called.
Apparently the sex took place at the office, during closing time.
Eventually all 3 of them confessed. Our office has been full of corporate managers , all week long, to take their place while 2 of the managers are 'on vacation'. Meanwhile one of the managers has been at the office this whole time. The manager who is currently working tells, 'his side' of things, while the other manager is home trying to ' save her marriage'.
Then there's talk amongst the fellow employees how corporate management isn't going to do anything about it?? Who is easier to replace?
I found myself with days of thoughts. Mostly "why" chasing, and feeling empathy and mostly pity for the 3 of them. My trust level and respect level went WAY down, for all 3 of them.
Meanwhile I am taking the approach of " the less I know about it, the better off I am. Just continue to go above and beyond in doing my responsibilities".
Then their is the ripple effect, all of this will have on the entire staff, corporate, other customers, etc.....
I know we have talked on here about outsourcing, and I completely understand the need, concerns, and delima's entailed with it. BUT...cheating on your spouse with a coworker? There's POF in the sea. Better to keep work and sex separate. Now it involves many more people than just 'the family'.
I don't like that word "cheating" when discussing a SM. This situation cheats many of the employees out of what was " good management, and a good working environment" and then sex got involved.
It's interesting to hear the different perspectives on it from fellow employees. Comments like " it happens, no big deal, everyone does it, there will always be favoritism, etc..."
As you can imagine, word spread around the entire district.
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Post by h on Oct 25, 2019 12:00:42 GMT -5
Sex in the workplace could land you in jail in my line of work. I don't think I could make it work anyway. I don't have much interaction with anyone at my primary work. At my second job it would be possible, except I work with all men there and I don't swing that way.
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Post by baza on Oct 25, 2019 16:45:51 GMT -5
I'm betting that after the initial flurry of gossip and leaps to judgement etc this juicy tale will pass into history pretty quick. You - for example Brother greatcoastal - have already moved past the kerfuffle and directed your focus back on your work. As regards cheating, I am personally not a fan of this choice. Not on any moral basis, because cheating is a perfectly valid choice. Rather, my objection to it is that it is that it is a choice that can produce highly volatile and unpredictable outcomes and complicate an already complex situation. What cheating does have going for it is that it is invariably a game changer, and can force choices onto people that they would otherwise not be prepared to make.
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 25, 2019 18:44:27 GMT -5
You - for example Brother greatcoastal - have already moved past the kerfuffle and directed your focus back on your work. Rather, my objection to it is that it is that it is a choice that can produce highly volatile and unpredictable outcomes and complicate an already complex situation. What cheating does have going for it is that it is invariably a game changer, and can force choices onto people that they would otherwise not be prepared to make. My choice to focus on "the work that needs to be done" may seem simple, but... we get managers who don't have a clue on what goes on, and how to handle things, making the 'work' much more difficult and complicated. This may go on for several months. WE had a manager trainee that was a royal screw up on so many fronts!! This person stayed with the company ,but was never to return to our office. Guess who's back?? Filling in for our manager who is "trying to save her marriage!" (WE have no idea what the other spouse thinks of all this. They had an entire month vacation planned together, then the sex in the office was revealed!) Proving, as baza said, " a choice that can produce highly volatile and unpredictable outcomes and complicate an already complex situation". For the other married male manager (with a new baby) I hear him say, as I walk through the office on to my next job, "she has an attorney,she's really ticked off". The other female manager in training ,who is now taking a vacation, it has been said "will not be returning". More and more game changes that have a ripple effect. All going back to the sex. You can imagine what our next 'company dinner for being no. One in sales in our district' will be like! My girlfriend/woman has already stated that she does not want to go, and is not interested in meeting any of them.
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Post by DryCreek on Oct 25, 2019 19:04:05 GMT -5
greatcoastal, it doesn’t sound like any of these folks reported to each other - that’s taboo in just about any company with an HR department. But it sounds like they made the mistake of having sex on company property - that’s probably what got them in hot water. There are a couple old adages that apply here: From days of olde... Don’t dip your pen in company ink. And... Even a bear knows better than to shit where he eats. The risk of a relationship going sour, and that in-turn poisoning your source of income... it’s just not smart. That said, I brilliantly did it twice. While neither caused work issues, W was one of the two, so you might say that karma got me.
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 25, 2019 19:16:00 GMT -5
greatcoastal , it doesn’t sound like any of these folks reported to each other - that’s taboo in just about any company with an HR department. But it sounds like they made the mistake of having sex on company property - that’s probably what got them in hot water. There are a couple old adages that apply here: From days of olde... Don’t dip your pen in company ink. And... Even a bear knows better than to shit where he eats. The risk of a relationship going sour, and that in-turn poisoning your source of income... it’s just not smart. That said, I brilliantly did it twice. While neither caused work issues, W was one of the two, so you might say that karma got me. LOVE The old adages!! LOL!! These 3 do work close together all day, every day. The sex part, was most likely, NOT reported to each other! NOW it's getting widely 'reported' among the corporate managers. Karma?
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Post by DryCreek on Oct 25, 2019 19:21:41 GMT -5
Ah... I meant “reported” as in one being the boss of the other. That’s taboo because a) it encourages a culture of “sleeping your way to the top”, and b) there’s no knowing if the boss coerced the underling into sex.
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Post by shamwow on Oct 25, 2019 20:15:36 GMT -5
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 26, 2019 8:26:24 GMT -5
Must be a spelling error, sounds more like a "FUNriasing cunsultant". Only now it's not so fun, is it?
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 30, 2019 20:11:47 GMT -5
greatcoastal , it doesn’t sound like any of these folks reported to each other - that’s taboo in just about any company with an HR department. But it sounds like they made the mistake of having sex on company property - that’s probably what got them in hot water. There are a couple old adages that apply here: From days of olde... Don’t dip your pen in company ink. And... Even a bear knows better than to shit where he eats. The risk of a relationship going sour, and that in-turn poisoning your source of income... it’s just not smart. That said, I brilliantly did it twice. While neither caused work issues, W was one of the two, so you might say that karma got me. Someone from the HR department came to the office and "set up camp". EVERYONE is being questioned. During my line of questioning, I mentioned what I was told " that nothing was going to be done about it, and things will remain the same". The HR person was quick to assure me, that SOMETHING will definitely be done about it. Watching it all unfold, day by day.
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Post by ironhamster on Oct 30, 2019 21:17:38 GMT -5
My old motto was "don't get your honey where you make your money." Lawyers, HR, and emotions when things go bad are some reasons why not to engage. It happens, though. I never was concerned about the affairs of others.
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Post by baza on Oct 30, 2019 21:37:03 GMT -5
From my past experience of the workplace (and the "Boys Club" attitude then prevalent), I will lay good money on the chick involved getting the boot.
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Post by shamwow on Oct 31, 2019 6:45:12 GMT -5
From my past experience of the workplace (and the "Boys Club" attitude then prevalent), I will lay good money on the chick involved getting the boot. I don't know. With #metoo, lawyers, and women playing a more important roles in companies, things are changing. My bet is they ALL get fired. Which is probbaly what should happen if there was a violation of company policy.
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Post by worksforme2 on Oct 31, 2019 7:31:12 GMT -5
In the many yrs. that I was in project management I only had 1 incident of sexual impropriety on my watch and by the time I found out about it, it was way too late do anything. I am pretty sure there were a couple of times when employees engaged in hanky-panky but they were all hourly and not in positions of authority to each other. So consensual sex between equals after work, I didn't pursue my suspicions. Had I known about the other forced sex I would have fired the manager on the spot.
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Post by worksforme2 on Oct 31, 2019 7:36:00 GMT -5
From my past experience of the workplace (and the "Boys Club" attitude then prevalent), I will lay good money on the chick involved getting the boot. I don't know. With #metoo, lawyers, and women playing a more important roles in companies, things are changing. My bet is they ALL get fired. Which is probbaly what should happen if there was a violation of company policy. I reads like the trio involved were fairly well up the corp. ladder when it hit the fan. Dealing with this type of violation of company policy doesn't usually take too long. Most often all involved are temp. given leave while the facts are pursued and if all were guilty and willing participants, more often than not everyone gets the boot.
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