Post by bpvikesfan on Oct 13, 2019 8:36:09 GMT -5
Hi, I am new to this forum and have to say i am so glad i found this place. I have been married for 27 years and for 22 years we had a healthy and happy sex life. A few things occurred about five years ago that impacted our lives negatively. I have mental illness and went into an episode, these episodes last over a year and i have psychotic features which makes intimacy impossible because i totally check out of reality....during this episode a "friend" fell on hard times and she and her son lived with us for a year, rent free by the way(no hostility here lol) during this time my husband and her had a relationship, he swears there was no sex, and to be honest i dont care if there was because the vow was broken by his emotional relationship with her. I was sick but I would see them cuddling on the couch, laughing and chatting all the time...I would wake up at night and he would be out of bed, it was a very painful time for me that did affect me and my ability to feel intimate. I also was put on an antipsychotic that has basically remapped my brain chemistry and i can no longer physically orgasm. I think I cant orgasm, I am not patient enough to keep going after a great amount of time has been invested in trying to either be pleasured or pleasure myself to find out. And thirdly, my sex drive crashed cuz i started menopause.
My husband and I went from 3-5 times a week for 20 plus years to no more than 10 times total in the past five years. Other than sex, we have a good relationship and we love each other, do I just have to accept that we are getting older and sex is over. I know older people have sex, I want sex but i dont have a sex drive, does that make sense? What can I do to get that back again. My husband seems content with our sexual arrangement, he masturbates when he wants release and if he wants sex we try it....That is an issue as well, since we have gone so long without sex, when we do have it, it is awkward and not as great as it used to be, i feel like i am failing as a wife and i want help so our marriage can stay strong. I love having sex with my husband but i just cant seem to get my engines to fire!
I am new so if i posted wrong, or seemed to have rambled please forgive me!
My husband and I went from 3-5 times a week for 20 plus years to no more than 10 times total in the past five years. Other than sex, we have a good relationship and we love each other, do I just have to accept that we are getting older and sex is over. I know older people have sex, I want sex but i dont have a sex drive, does that make sense? What can I do to get that back again. My husband seems content with our sexual arrangement, he masturbates when he wants release and if he wants sex we try it....That is an issue as well, since we have gone so long without sex, when we do have it, it is awkward and not as great as it used to be, i feel like i am failing as a wife and i want help so our marriage can stay strong. I love having sex with my husband but i just cant seem to get my engines to fire!
I am new so if i posted wrong, or seemed to have rambled please forgive me!