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Post by Handy on Oct 6, 2019 10:36:40 GMT -5
Northstarmom She told me stories of women who were sent to mental asylums due to liking sex.
That is over the top drastic in a bad way. I am happy to see you broke out of that trap and found happiness with a compatibly partner.
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Post by Apocrypha on Oct 7, 2019 0:25:02 GMT -5
The reason I "why" chase is a to find evidence that the SM isn't all my fault (I was raised in a home where having a penis made you guilty and a bad person, thanks Mom). If the why is that she is asexual, then it would be like being married to a lesbian. She would naturally not be interested in being physical with me, and would only want the emotional connection. My wife loves me getting her off, giving her massages, and other physical contact, but doesn't want intercourse, nor does she have much interest in getting me to climax. She was always into the romantic fantasy of sex, but being a virgin had no experience with the real thing. I'll stop here as I can describe this issue all day. If she were a closeted asexual, then it wouldn't be me specifically being rejected, but rather just something she has no interest in with anyone. Wouldn't be her intentionally rejecting me, but rather an asexual marrying a sexual not knowing she was asexual. P.S. Never marry a virgin Well, you will find out pretty quickly after the separation, whether she is into sex with other people or not. My guess, based on an overwhelming amount of evidence from dating divorced women, is "yes". Most people have faults to some degree. Once the obvious things have been ruled out: lapses in hygiene, appearance, fitness etc, it comes down to things like: did she really want to marry, or have kids, or live where you live? Did you go through a difficult period in which you felt misaligned and fight a lot, but and it was never really forgiven? Did one of you have an affair early on and it was never truly dealt with? There can be all kinds of reasons that bubble up, but it's generally forensics work and it doesn't always have anything to do with you. And the other terrible part of it, once it goes celibate - it means she's overriding her own sex drive to avoid sex with you. So, it's not indifference: it's actually important for her to risk her marriage and harm to you, to avoid sex with you. That's how much she needs to avoid that scenario. Think of an ex-girlfriend you tried avoiding sex with as much as possible. Now, try to imagine changing your mind on that.
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