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Post by northstarmom on Oct 3, 2019 12:45:48 GMT -5
“The last time we had sex, my wife did seem to want it, but the "shot clock" was on in full swing. We didn't spend much time with foreplay as she wanted to get on to the main event. After she finished she started the whole: Are you about done...then the every guilt trip. Do you not find me attractive. Please keep in mind this is about 5 min into intercourse. ”
Sounds more like a sexually averse woman who is faking wanting sex. Otherwise, she’d likely have enjoyed foreplsy, even had some orgasms during it. She’d also have enjoyed intercourse not urged you to hurry up. I suspect she was engaging in intercourse because she either felt you were pulling away or because she wanted to put you in a mood so you’d fulfill one of her material desires.
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Post by Apocrypha on Oct 3, 2019 13:14:25 GMT -5
“The last time we had sex, my wife did seem to want it, but the "shot clock" was on in full swing. We didn't spend much time with foreplay as she wanted to get on to the main event. After she finished she started the whole: Are you about done...then the every guilt trip. Do you not find me attractive. Please keep in mind this is about 5 min into intercourse. ” Sounds more like a sexually averse woman who is faking wanting sex. Otherwise, she’d likely have enjoyed foreplsy, even had some orgasms during it. She’d also have enjoyed intercourse not urged you to hurry up. I suspect she was engaging in intercourse because she either felt you were pulling away or because she wanted to put you in a mood so you’d fulfill one of her material desires. Could be - and also, there's a gazillion stories of cold fish partners here who are stumbled upon having a fast wank to let the steam off, while their jilted partner gets angry about the wasted opportunity. Sometimes people just get too hungry and they stuff with what's available and edible. There's a peculiar turn of phrase within gay male culture, gay males who have a thing for straight guys, and among some swing culture, and it has been used by a couple of women I know. It's "having release". I don't know, but I imagine that's what is said in prison as well. The sense I get from that turn of phrase and the circumstances of the scenarios, is that it's a decision to depersonalize, dissociate - to make the encounter as close to self-stimulation as possible. When you are that hungry, it's about speed and efficiency, and not a fulsome experience. It's about "having release" and not about a sexual relationship with another person.
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Post by northstarmom on Oct 3, 2019 13:33:33 GMT -5
“ Could be - and also, there's a gazillion stories of cold fish partners here who are stumbled upon having a fast wank to let the steam off, while their jilted partner gets angry about the wasted opportunity. Sometimes people just get too hungry and they stuff with what's available and edible. ”
A “cold fish partner” could be wanking not fucking because they like orgasms but are either sexually averse to their mates or they prefer wanking to the intimacy of involving another person in their sex life.
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Post by Apocrypha on Oct 3, 2019 14:01:53 GMT -5
“ Could be - and also, there's a gazillion stories of cold fish partners here who are stumbled upon having a fast wank to let the steam off, while their jilted partner gets angry about the wasted opportunity. Sometimes people just get too hungry and they stuff with what's available and edible. ” A “cold fish partner” could be wanking not fucking because they like orgasms but are either sexually averse to their mates or they prefer wanking to the intimacy of involving another person in their sex life. I'm observing what's clearly a normal behaviour outside the context of celibate marriages. I think people here - especially me when I was one of them - are looking to narrowly at the problem. We aren't disagreeing: "wanking not fucking because they like orgasms". Who doesn't like orgasms? Almost guaranteed, most of the "refusers" described here enjoy them and need them. That was the whole point. That in absence of a partner and a fulsome sexual relationship, or a possibility of that - people will settle to let off steam. The prevalence of that is handily observed by observing how many commit to celibacy post-marriage vs the amount that go on to robust sex lives with new partners after separation, by looking at what their threshold for saying "yes" is then (with new people), and the trouble they'll put up with to seek it.
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