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Post by Rhapsodee on Aug 15, 2019 15:50:55 GMT -5
I found someone. A very special man. I knew the moment I saw him that he would touch my heart. We were together for the entire month of July. It was the best month of my outsourcing life. I couldn’t get enough of him.
His significant other found out about me and is making his life hell. The situation is very abusive, but he believes he loves her and is willing to take the abuse and give up sex just to keep her in his life.
I see now that the connection was the fact that we are both damaged. I believe that he is aware that he is being abused. Just as I am aware of my situation. I offer him my support without judgment. He has to decide for himself if the relationship with this woman is worth the agony. I have to decide for myself if I can keep doing this.
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Post by DryCreek on Aug 15, 2019 16:52:03 GMT -5
Rhapsodee... frustrating, yes. But further evidence that you can find someone. Not exactly available, though you’re in a similar boat at the moment. If you care to share... How did you two connect in the first place? And perhaps equally important, does he like line dancing? ;-) Also curious how he gave himself away so quickly. Careless? Suddenly happier at home?
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Post by Rhapsodee on Aug 15, 2019 18:44:57 GMT -5
DryCreek, I met him on AM. I had been “interviewing” for nearly three months. Frustrated, I had reached the point of doing video chats rather than finding time to go meet at a coffee shop. I was smitten at first smile. He doesn’t know how she found out. It is a mystery.
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Post by baza on Aug 16, 2019 1:27:51 GMT -5
I guess that is (one of) the problems in the "stay and outsource" option. By necessity it is a short term solution that can end real abruptly. Sorry that this one ran out of gas so quick Sister Rhapsodee .
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Post by worksforme2 on Aug 16, 2019 7:24:00 GMT -5
I just so don't get this guy. To me, no woman, or man if roles were reversed, is that valuable when the relationship is permeated with abuse and is sexless. Sexless being another form of abuse. I understand how he can love her. I still loved my X during our sexless period, but if like my X they are unwilling or unable to make some kind of accommodation for your need for intimacy, then they should have nothing to say about how you address those needs and desires. This man sounds like he needs to grow a set of testicles and stand up to his W.
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Post by saarinista on Oct 14, 2019 22:07:03 GMT -5
This is always a possibility with "outsourcing." I. e. It doesn't work out. The other person doesn't want you like you want them. Agony ensues. Be aware.
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