catsloveme
Full Member
Dwelling in the possible
Posts: 207
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Post by catsloveme on Nov 12, 2019 13:31:44 GMT -5
br]6. Consider the division of labour and chores in the house - the ones that seem oddly intimidating to you that you've never done. Pick the one you've NEVER done and do it. In my house - it was the washing machine. In my gf house, it was the cooking. Figure it out and show yourself that you can actually do it. I realized at some point that I wasn't really intimidated by a washing machine - I had an emotional block because I was afraid somehow of what it meant if I had now decided to do her chore - that I was letting go or giving up. Jump right in and do whatever your thing is. Apocrypha, this is a great point!
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Post by Handy on Nov 12, 2019 15:33:32 GMT -5
Is there something holding you back?
A easy to read book:
"Feel the Fear . . . and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers
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Post by ironhamster on Nov 12, 2019 16:24:42 GMT -5
br]6. Consider the division of labour and chores in the house - the ones that seem oddly intimidating to you that you've never done. Pick the one you've NEVER done and do it. In my house - it was the washing machine. In my gf house, it was the cooking. Figure it out and show yourself that you can actually do it. I realized at some point that I wasn't really intimidated by a washing machine - I had an emotional block because I was afraid somehow of what it meant if I had now decided to do her chore - that I was letting go or giving up. Jump right in and do whatever your thing is. Apocrypha, this is a great point! Be careful jumping in. I did my own laundry when I was single. I do my own laundry single again. My stuff cleans up fine. Women's clothes are different. Yoga pants rip, sweaters shrink, colors bleed, etc. You might not be doing anyone a favor if it is done wrong.
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Post by saarinista on Nov 12, 2019 19:41:45 GMT -5
Yoga pants DO rip! Bra straps are notorious for getting tangled around the washing machine agitator, too. Etc etc. Good advice ironhamster about leaving laundering of delicates to the owner. Also be sure there are no Sharpie pens in any pockets prior to laundering. 😢
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Post by jim44444 on Nov 16, 2019 5:11:28 GMT -5
Yoga pants DO rip! Bra straps are notorious for getting tangled around the washing machine agitator, too. Etc etc. Good advice ironhamster about leaving laundering of delicates to the owner. Also be sure there are no Sharpie pens in any pockets prior to laundering. 😢 The number of Sharpie pens I have sent through the washer is staggering. My wife will not wash my work clothes with any other items.
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Post by elynne on Nov 16, 2019 17:14:41 GMT -5
Yoga pants DO rip! Bra straps are notorious for getting tangled around the washing machine agitator, too. Etc etc. Good advice ironhamster about leaving laundering of delicates to the owner. Also be sure there are no Sharpie pens in any pockets prior to laundering. 😢 The number of Sharpie pens I have sent through the washer is staggering. My wife will not wash my work clothes with any other items. I wouldn’t let you anywhere near my laundry! Hell! You may have just discovered the reason for your sexless marriage. She’s just pissed off at you! 😅
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Post by jim44444 on Nov 16, 2019 21:50:01 GMT -5
The number of Sharpie pens I have sent through the washer is staggering. My wife will not wash my work clothes with any other items. I wouldn’t let you anywhere near my laundry! Hell! You may have just discovered the reason for your sexless marriage. She’s just pissed off at you! 😅 True, those damnable Sharpies have left a dark stain on our relationship.
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Post by saarinista on Nov 17, 2019 15:57:06 GMT -5
This is totally afield from the original question, but WHY in the name of GOD can't someone invent a Sharpie antidote?😏🤔
I mean it seems like in an equitable Universe there would be an opposite reaction for every chemical reaction, right? Yet for Sharpie pen ink, I'm not seeing it.
Are there any Chemical Engineers or such on the board who can explain why Sharpie tank is impossible to get out? Or even better, anyone with an ANTIDOTE for Sharpie ink?
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Post by Handy on Nov 17, 2019 16:14:49 GMT -5
I tried alcohol, WD-40 and hair spray. Some of the black ink came out but it left a gray stain.
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Post by saarinista on Nov 18, 2019 0:23:33 GMT -5
I tried alcohol, WD-40 and hair spray. Some of the black ink came out but it left a gray stain. That's not good enough for me! Any other answers? 😏
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Post by Handy on Nov 18, 2019 1:15:00 GMT -5
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Post by lessingham on Nov 18, 2019 7:15:00 GMT -5
I have washed, ironed and dried for 40 years and gained no brownie points. My self esteem is non existant. Over the werkend I lent my son £50 and he forgot to repay me. I scrubbed the bathroomand ensuite clean. I am cooking all day and I am too angry to leave the town car park to go home. And here is the kicker, I am not angry at the lazy wife on the sofa eating the breakfast I made. I am not angry with my son. I am furious with ne and hate me for being the sucker.
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Post by northstarmom on Nov 18, 2019 9:21:51 GMT -5
Lessingham,
Have you considered the following:
No more loans to son til her repays you;
Paying for housekeeping and cooking help. If $ is a problem covering this, stop paying for the TV;
Paying for a nice getaway for yourself — without your wife
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catsloveme
Full Member
Dwelling in the possible
Posts: 207
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Post by catsloveme on Nov 18, 2019 9:38:18 GMT -5
I have washed, ironed and dried for 40 years and gained no brownie points. My self esteem is non existant. Over the werkend I lent my son £50 and he forgot to repay me. I scrubbed the bathroomand ensuite clean. I am cooking all day and I am too angry to leave the town car park to go home. And here is the kicker, I am not angry at the lazy wife on the sofa eating the breakfast I made. I am not angry with my son. I am furious with ne and hate me for being the sucker. lessingham, can you let that anger propel you into making some changes? You can’t control how your wife or son will behave but you can adjust your thinking and determine what you will/won’t do in the future. Say no the next time your son asks to borrow money. When he asks why, tell him you need to be repaid for the last time. He will quickly figure out that the bank of dad has some new policies in place. Tell your wife that from here on, you’ll only be doing your laundry and the household laundry. If she asks why you’ll no longer do her laundry, tell her that it’s because she doesn’t appreciate your effort. Keep cleaning the bathroom, but do it because you like it to be clean, and you’d do it anyway if you lived alone. Make breakfast for just yourself. If this gets commented on, tell your wife you’re tired of being taken for granted. Or, ask her to clean up the kitchen since you cooked breakfast. The point here is not to start a battle, but to balance the workload so you feel less taken advantage of. Don’t tear yourself down for being a sucker. You’re kind and care about your family. But take that anger and resentment you’re feeling as a big red flag that you need to do some work on setting boundaries for yourself. (Disclosure: I was told a long time ago by a therapist that I have trouble with boundaries. This is something I actively work on, and I’m very familiar with this battle. It’s hard to change, but well worth it as far as regaining self-esteem and self-respect goes. I have learned the hard way that people will take from you as much as you let them.)
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Post by Handy on Nov 18, 2019 9:51:59 GMT -5
catsloveme ....... people will take from you as much as you let them.This is so true! BTDT, but I have wised up somewhat and only do what suits me.
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