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Post by saarinista on May 17, 2019 10:10:28 GMT -5
Thanks for sharing this with us baz. Like you I have undergone a shift from a decidedly pro abortion position to pro life. This is not to say I would seek to deny someone the right to terminate a pregnancy upon learning of severe abnormalities in the fetus or danger to the woman's life. I can't speak to other countries but here in the US it seems a sizable percentage, perhaps the majority, of abortions are implemented as birth control, largely due to carelessness on the part of the people making the decision. I myself have been a party to 2. Both were in my youth when I foolishly thought the responsibility for birth control resided with the woman. And both pregnancies were the result of my partners going off their birth control and saying nothing about it. Even my X at age 40 was unprotected the 1st time we had sex. Again dummy that I was it didn't occur to me a 43yr. old woman would take this sort of risk. It was years later when she told me she was relieved when she had her period. She could just as easily have been pregnant by someone she had known only a few weeks. Along with so many other things it seems that here in the US we are in a period where extreme positions are the norm. Abortion is just one. On one end is the attempt at strict enforcement or limitations on time when abortions can be performed. On the other extreme we now have states where infanticide is an acceptable end to an unwanted birth. I am in the boat with h. Whether I am for or against something doesn't mean I want the government involved. Okay, if you don't want laws determining whether safe and legal abortion is available then you are pro choice, not pro life.
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firefollower
Full Member
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Post by firefollower on May 17, 2019 10:48:56 GMT -5
I think we got a little sideways on this thread...I agree that the abortion issue has some very emotional struggles on both sides. My intent of this thread was to discuss this pervasive cultural attitude displayed and perpetuated by Allysa Milano regarding her call for a "sex strike". I wanted to focus on this idea that some women, not all of them feel that sex is a concession...I know it is true for my W. I feel it is damaging to healthy sexual relationships when sex becomes a power play. For asexual people that could take or leave it...my opinion is shut you mouth..if you don't want sex, don't have it...go find other people like yourself and enjoy your life. Don't use your dislike for sex as a poker chip. People like this destroy people like us that depend on and hope for a sexually intimate relationship.
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Post by northstarmom on May 17, 2019 11:00:44 GMT -5
FWIW a woman friend posted on FB in support of the sex strike to support legal abortion. About 10 years ago, my friend had married a man who -- due to MS -- was impotent. I remember her telling me that he felt very bad about not being able to have sex with her, but she told me that she reassured him that his ED didn't bother her because she wasn't interested in sex anyway. This is the kind of pro choice woman who would think that a sex strike would be a great way to advocate for policies they want.
Also FWIW in reponse to my friend, I simply said the idea was "stupid" for women who liked sex. My post SM partner replied more gracefully and eloquently that for women who enjoyed sex as part of intimacy - and closeness and love and romance -- a sex strike would not be something they'd support, the idea might of worked in the ancient Greek play Lysistrada, but wouldn't work in reality. This is why my guy is the love of my life.
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Post by isthisit on May 17, 2019 14:07:15 GMT -5
I want to acknowledge this discussion but I have really strong pro choice opinions on this highly controversial issue and I will respectfully bow out of participating. I would hate to see this forum get into this debate! Yup, me too. I have very strong views on this too, but this is not the platform for the discussion. There is an irony of course that one of the few silver linings of a SM is the unlikely event of finding ourselves facing his choice.
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Post by northstarmom on May 17, 2019 15:06:32 GMT -5
"There is an irony of course that one of the few silver linings of a SM is the unlikely event of finding ourselves facing his choice."
Unfortunately, some of the refused here got trapped into marriage or staying married because just as they were detaching from their marriages, heir normally sexually reluctant partner developed a strong interest in sex and a pregnancy resulted.
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firefollower
Full Member
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Age Range: 51-55
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Post by firefollower on May 17, 2019 15:34:38 GMT -5
"There is an irony of course that one of the few silver linings of a SM is the unlikely event of finding ourselves facing his choice." Unfortunately, some of the refused here got trapped into marriage or staying married because just as they were detaching from their marriages, heir normally sexually reluctant partner developed a strong interest in sex and a pregnancy resulted. yes, I sort of found myself in this situation...after my third child, I was done. The sex was pretty much done as well. On a fluke we attended a New Years Eve party last minute...W got a little tipsy and a little horny...I was happy to oblige...nine months later I have a son. After that slip up...I got a vasectomy.
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Post by isthisit on May 17, 2019 15:42:35 GMT -5
"There is an irony of course that one of the few silver linings of a SM is the unlikely event of finding ourselves facing his choice." Unfortunately, some of the refused here got trapped into marriage or staying married because just as they were detaching from their marriages, heir normally sexually reluctant partner developed a strong interest in sex and a pregnancy resulted. Sure, there is lots of evidence of that phenomenon here. However, I would really view that as a planned pregnancy. Planned by one of the parents at least.
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Post by csl on May 19, 2019 15:58:52 GMT -5
More importantly, let's think about the logic of what she is saying. If she's advocating for a sex strike to prevent unwanted pregnancies, isn't that exactly what the conservative religious right wanted in the first place?😂 She's literally making the case for abstinence which would result in fewer abortions. Alyssa Milano just became a pro-lifer!🤣 [rubbing hands together] Our plan is working. Mwa-Ha-ha.
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Post by csl on May 19, 2019 16:13:49 GMT -5
Actually they have been moving in that very direction recently. The Governor of Virginia was on record during a radio interview seriously talking about "post-birth abortions" and it has also been discussed here in NY. Just because it's not legal yet, doesn't mean it can't change tomorrow. Laws change when people start normalizing what was once considered unthinkable. just because something has been discussed does not mean the p@rticipanta have shared correct information. The governor of VA-yikes. he has a number of unfortunate rhetorical gaffes to his credit. Although he's an MD,that doesn't mean he knows everything medical or correctly shares information in interviews. As a Virginian, I can add a little more to this story. Gov. Northrop was speaking up to support a Delegate who had introduced a bill in our General Assembly that legalized this very thing. When asked if her bill legitimized a doctor killing a newborn on the operating table, she answered that it did. Her answer created a firestorm which even went national, and Northrop stepped in, saying, basically, “So what’s the big deal?” So, yeah, the unthinkable is always a possibility. And on an unrelated note, I am reading Elie Wiesel’s Night for the first time. (Got to make a note to myself to remember that the unthinkable is always a possibility.)
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