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Post by angeleyes65 on Mar 30, 2019 17:30:33 GMT -5
I felt sad when I was packing mainly thoughts like last Christmas was the last one in that house with the family whole. I felt sad the day I moved mainly for him. But it's a big change a lot of water under the bridge. When I had everything put away and went to bed a cried a little. For many reasons. This isn't how I planned my life. But the next day I got up drank coffee watched the birds and just felt at peace. No being angry or disappointed. And I felt proud because I finally completed my exit plan .
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Post by baza on Mar 30, 2019 18:43:11 GMT -5
Quick question to those of you that have gotten out. Even if you knew that you were going to be better off. Even though you had basically started to hate your spouse and indifference had started setting in. Did you still feel even a little sad? I don’t even understand myself why I’m feeling this way and not jumping around with complete joy. When does this bullshit stop messing with your head so, so bad? I knew I'd be better off long term by leaving, but short term I was actually significantly worse off. I was a bit sad that our deal had played out the way it did. A perfectly natural and understandable reaction I'd think. As was a bit of anger. A certain level of fear. All mixed in with a sense of relief. A bit of a whirlpool of various emotions. Time is your friend when you get out.
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 30, 2019 19:47:17 GMT -5
smith227...It's natural to feel somewhat depressed following the breakup of one's marriage. After all one has invested in the relationship and perhaps years of hoping things would be different at some point. I was with my X for 20 odd years so I was not surprised when the feelings of loss hit me. When one looks at how good it could have been if only our SO had met us half way how could one not be sad?
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Post by workingonit on Mar 30, 2019 20:42:53 GMT -5
I am happy for you! This is good news!
But of course you would feel a bit or even very sad. You dedicated yourself to thia relationship, planned on it being forever. Now it is officially ending. That IS sad even if it is RIGHT.
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Post by choosinghappy on Mar 31, 2019 17:23:26 GMT -5
I agree that it’s natural to not just feel sadness but a whole range of emotions when a marriage ends. And for you, smith227, it seems like the emotions cycling through you might be even stronger because it seems to have happened for you in a relatively quick timeframe (from admitting there was a problem, trying to come to terms with it, deciding what to do, and then the marriage ending). It’s a lot to work through.
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Post by smith227 on Mar 31, 2019 19:12:14 GMT -5
I agree that it’s natural to not just feel sadness but a whole range of emotions when a marriage ends. And for you, smith227, it seems like the emotions cycling through you might be even stronger because it seems to have happened for you in a relatively quick timeframe (from admitting there was a problem, trying to come to terms with it, deciding what to do, and then the marriage ending). It’s a lot to work through. It does seem fast. I only found this board last November, and lurked for a couple months before posting for the first time. I did read the entire website, though. I just knew things weren’t going to get better, and seeing all of the stuff on here that absolutely mirrored my situation, solidified it. I’m going to put my deposit down in my new apartment next Tuesday and my move in date is April 15th. Can’t wait to see what the other side is like again.
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Post by choosinghappy on Apr 1, 2019 8:58:09 GMT -5
I agree that it’s natural to not just feel sadness but a whole range of emotions when a marriage ends. And for you, smith227, it seems like the emotions cycling through you might be even stronger because it seems to have happened for you in a relatively quick timeframe (from admitting there was a problem, trying to come to terms with it, deciding what to do, and then the marriage ending). It’s a lot to work through. It does seem fast. I only found this board last November, and lurked for a couple months before posting for the first time. I did read the entire website, though. I just knew things weren’t going to get better, and seeing all of the stuff on here that absolutely mirrored my situation, solidified it. I’m going to put my deposit down in my new apartment next Tuesday and my move in date is April 15th. Can’t wait to see what the other side is like again. I am happy for you. Here’s to a much better “other side”.
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Post by flashjohn on Apr 1, 2019 11:02:52 GMT -5
Quick question to those of you that have gotten out. Even if you knew that you were going to be better off. Even though you had basically started to hate your spouse and indifference had started setting in. Did you still feel even a little sad? I don’t even understand myself why I’m feeling this way and not jumping around with complete joy. When does this bullshit stop messing with your head so, so bad? Yes, I was very sad when I was moving out. I knew it was the right thing to do, and I had been extremely miserable for the entire marriage, but I was still crying as I was loading up my truck. I guess I was kind of mourning the marriage that I wanted to have. But I also had to remember that she had made it clear that she did not care that her sexual rejection had devastated me, and she had no intention of ever changing. After I had been gone for a while, I started feeling much better. Now that I have been away from her for over 3 years, I am so grateful that I left. I lost a lot of years, but I am not losing any more.
I am so happy for you. You were only married a short time, and you realized that this marriage was not good for you. And now your Refuser has even suggested divorce! Congratulations on your new life!
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Post by shamwow on Apr 1, 2019 16:28:57 GMT -5
Smith, before looking for an apartment talk to s lawyer. ASAP. Moving out in some jurisdictions is considered abandonment and would hurt you in the settlement. And make copies of all of your financial assets and look for unusual financial drains. Your h probably has been planning this a long time and may have been hiding assets and figuring out ways to get more than his fair share. make sure you have enough cash in hand. Some stbxes cancel credit cards and close accounts. Listen to this advice.
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Post by shamwow on Apr 1, 2019 16:30:33 GMT -5
I agree that it’s natural to not just feel sadness but a whole range of emotions when a marriage ends. And for you, smith227, it seems like the emotions cycling through you might be even stronger because it seems to have happened for you in a relatively quick timeframe (from admitting there was a problem, trying to come to terms with it, deciding what to do, and then the marriage ending). It’s a lot to work through. It does seem fast. I only found this board last November, and lurked for a couple months before posting for the first time. I did read the entire website, though. I just knew things weren’t going to get better, and seeing all of the stuff on here that absolutely mirrored my situation, solidified it. I’m going to put my deposit down in my new apartment next Tuesday and my move in date is April 15th. Can’t wait to see what the other side is like again. See. An. Attorney. Before. Making. Any. Major. Changes.
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