Post by tooyoungtobeold on Aug 19, 2019 17:59:02 GMT -5
Finding happiness in a celibate life would appear to be the function of how it occurred. Did you choose a celibate life or was one chosen for you? Most of us here are in the latter category and, as I can well attest, coming to terms with it takes a long time. I am happy in my celibate life but I am also here on this board. If my life were almost exactly the same only with an intimate life then I would be truly graced and happIER. But it isn't. So, I stay, I come to terms, I "man up" for my family for my sanity.
Do I let go of what I have for the unknown? That choice might end your celibacy or might not. No wonder this is so hard.
Post by jamesbonding on Sept 11, 2019 23:47:25 GMT -5
Earlier this year I took a temporary job in another state for a few months, away from my wife. I was celibate during that time, and yes, happy. Work was enjoyable, and in my non-work time I explored the area, spent time on my computer, shopped for food, cooked, did laundry, etc.
As a result of that experience being away from my wife, I'm confident that if at some point I decided to leave my wife permanently, I'd be OK living by myself. My wife seemed to survive OK without me, too. I don't think she missed me much either. Shrug. It is what it is. (For now I continue to choose to stay because our life together is pleasant or at least "OK enough" that I don't feel motivated to leave. I get sex once or twice a week and some snuggling, which is as important to me as the sex. She gets a roof over her head - I pay the mortgage.)
I think the reason I'm not (much) bothered by sexual cravings during celibate periods is due to my practice (for the last 10+ years) of avoiding orgasms and some other sorts of intense sexual stimulation such as masturbation and porn. My brain and body have become used to living with little or no sexual stimulation; it's now normal for me. I do enjoy a sort of slow sex without orgasm, called "karezza." I talk more about it at iliasm.org/thread/4739/benefits-orgasming-seriously
Anyway, for those that want to reduce the frustration and cravings that come from lack of sex, I recommend AVOIDING masturbation, porn, night clubs, etc. It may not be not easy. Quitting masturbation is like quitting smoking (I imagine, since I've never smoked). It took me about six months to quit completely. But it was worth it. I feel so much better, not suffering from intense cravings for sexual release.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
petrushka: Even her little 5 or 6 year old was questioning her purchase!
Mar 14, 2020 6:25:44 GMT -5
petrushka: One of my favourite quotes for the last 30 years: "don't ever look a sheep in the eyes, the intellectual vacuum may suck your brains out". Well, let's all drink to the sheeple! (besides, alcohol is a good disinfectant).
Mar 14, 2020 6:31:26 GMT -5
frednsa: so...............i'd like to tell her when she "attempts to placate me": have you ever been invited to a party where you knew for certain that you WEREN'T wanted ?
Mar 19, 2020 15:57:05 GMT -5
worksforme2: Former Miss Hawaii tests positive. Being the gallant lad that I am I have offered her the use of my guest bedroom to "shelter in place"..
Mar 23, 2020 20:34:21 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hey tamara68, there is a covid19 positive cat in Belgium, watch out for it.
Mar 30, 2020 14:05:56 GMT -5
tamara68: @worksforme I think I have to be more careful for all infected people. Most likely I already have Covid19
Apr 1, 2020 3:29:42 GMT -5
worksforme2: tamara68.....it's been a couple weeks since you posted you may have the covid19 virus. hopefully you are feeling better and are on your way to renewed health
Apr 11, 2020 5:31:38 GMT -5
tamara68: @worksforme thanks, yes I am feeling better. How is it in the USA?
Apr 14, 2020 1:57:26 GMT -5
worksforme2: some better and some worse,..virus seems to be slowing down, but people are beginning to refuse to stay inside,...worst thing I see is Biden leading in the election poles,...but that could be fake news
Apr 20, 2020 16:56:22 GMT -5
mirrororchid: Politics? Is that what we want to happen here?
Apr 21, 2020 6:21:24 GMT -5
petrushka: Certainly not American style politics. Toxic echo chambers.
Apr 23, 2020 16:21:52 GMT -5
petrushka: However, I feel that sexual politics, including political moves that impact the relationships between gender (misogynist, misandrist, etc) definitely deserve room in this context.
Apr 23, 2020 16:22:59 GMT -5
fred: just calculated that i've spent somewhere near 19,000 days (& nights) as a "rejectee".AND that allows for 2,000+ days (& nights) on business travel apart from her. i've chosen to "stay" .....would never do that again, and can't as you see doing the math
May 15, 2020 18:01:15 GMT -5
worksforme2: 19000 days and nights,....damn dude, that's 52 yrs.
Jun 17, 2020 9:19:10 GMT -5
fred: you're a little short works - was thinking this AM, there has NEVER been a day when she indicated desire for me physically (other than for heavy lifting or finance)........LOL...........earlier, i had enough libido for both of us, now i'm left with guilt
Jun 20, 2020 13:11:12 GMT -5
fred: over imposing myself on her rather than simply leaving .....DAMN LOVE ANYWAY !
Jun 20, 2020 13:12:12 GMT -5
mesulina: update everyone, still has not happened. I have now come to accept that I will live with out. It is just different now.
Jun 29, 2020 19:32:31 GMT -5
worksforme2: Sorry mesulina,... but on the positive side you did stock up on toys a short time back,..now might be the time to go for the gusto
Jun 30, 2020 17:42:54 GMT -5
grower: Embrace a change, you will wonder why you waited so long
Jul 9, 2020 11:22:56 GMT -5
grower: Your life clock is ticking away, don't waste all your time. Live some.
Jul 24, 2020 9:53:20 GMT -5