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Post by lessingham on Aug 19, 2019 3:10:31 GMT -5
I do not think it is possible to find happiness in a celibate life. Perhaps one could be happy now and then, but the price paid will be too high for happiness.
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Post by Handy on Aug 19, 2019 4:21:34 GMT -5
Happiness in celibacy? No! But detaching from sexual frustrations (wishing good sex would happen) leaves me less frustrated and less resentful.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2019 17:59:02 GMT -5
Finding happiness in a celibate life would appear to be the function of how it occurred. Did you choose a celibate life or was one chosen for you? Most of us here are in the latter category and, as I can well attest, coming to terms with it takes a long time. I am happy in my celibate life but I am also here on this board. If my life were almost exactly the same only with an intimate life then I would be truly graced and happIER. But it isn't. So, I stay, I come to terms, I "man up" for my family for my sanity.
Do I let go of what I have for the unknown? That choice might end your celibacy or might not. No wonder this is so hard.
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Post by theexplorer on Aug 20, 2019 16:40:33 GMT -5
Finding happiness in a celibate life would appear to be the function of how it occurred. Did you choose a celibate life or was one chosen for you?
It is the difference between choosing to retire from your job or being fired. (This line came from a book about celibacy.)
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Post by jamesbonding on Sept 11, 2019 23:47:25 GMT -5
Earlier this year I took a temporary job in another state for a few months, away from my wife. I was celibate during that time, and yes, happy. Work was enjoyable, and in my non-work time I explored the area, spent time on my computer, shopped for food, cooked, did laundry, etc. As a result of that experience being away from my wife, I'm confident that if at some point I decided to leave my wife permanently, I'd be OK living by myself. My wife seemed to survive OK without me, too. I don't think she missed me much either. Shrug. It is what it is. (For now I continue to choose to stay because our life together is pleasant or at least "OK enough" that I don't feel motivated to leave. I get sex once or twice a week and some snuggling, which is as important to me as the sex. She gets a roof over her head - I pay the mortgage.) I think the reason I'm not (much) bothered by sexual cravings during celibate periods is due to my practice (for the last 10+ years) of avoiding orgasms and some other sorts of intense sexual stimulation such as masturbation and porn. My brain and body have become used to living with little or no sexual stimulation; it's now normal for me. I do enjoy a sort of slow sex without orgasm, called "karezza." I talk more about it at iliasm.org/thread/4739/benefits-orgasming-seriouslyAnyway, for those that want to reduce the frustration and cravings that come from lack of sex, I recommend AVOIDING masturbation, porn, night clubs, etc. It may not be not easy. Quitting masturbation is like quitting smoking (I imagine, since I've never smoked). It took me about six months to quit completely. But it was worth it. I feel so much better, not suffering from intense cravings for sexual release.
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timedelay
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Age Range: 46-50
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Post by timedelay on Sept 12, 2019 2:37:41 GMT -5
Ummm...if I got "sex once or twice a week and some snuggling" I don't think I'd feel the need to masturbate...!
This is assuming the sex is enthusiastic on both sides?
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Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2019 12:09:15 GMT -5
Sex once or twice a....year doesn't quite get it done.
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Post by solodriver on Sept 22, 2019 1:07:22 GMT -5
Finding happiness in a celibate life would appear to be the function of how it occurred. Did you choose a celibate life or was one chosen for you?
It is the difference between choosing to retire from your job or being fired. (This line came from a book about celibacy.)
Absolutely the best description of celibacy in a marriage.
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