|
Post by elynne on Feb 16, 2019 12:53:53 GMT -5
Today the girls (9 and 11) left at 6am with the stbx to go skiing in Switzerland. The first of many vacations apart. It was a tough day. I was pretty weepy. Little things would set me off and I’d have a little cry. But I’m feeling steady now. Calm. And still absolutely convinced that divorce is the right move. I think this past week was the deep point. There will be ups and downs over the coming months, but I’m already looking forward to rebuilding my life. It feels like a fresh start. Good for you friend! There will also be plenty of trips for just you and your daughters in the future! ( a fresh start) Trips that will not include their dad. Trips where they can see the stark difference in how both parents treat them, respect them, love them ,and the example you give them . An example that will show them what a healthy relationship ought to be! Then there will be some of the simplest moments together at home with your daughters, how you react to their requests for friends, clothes, money, food, keeping their room clean etc... Lot's of rebuilding... for all of you! Your STBX? No longer your problem, no longer your concern. Parallel parenting ,and as much detachment ,and distance as possible! You will be a light in a dark place. ( you always where, only now you get to shine! much brighter than before!) Thank you. I’m not going to type more right now. I don’t want to start crying again! But thank you for your kind words and encouragement.
|
|
|
Post by jim44444 on Feb 16, 2019 14:41:52 GMT -5
And the painting- I got him to accept my valuation of 9k. elynne, I have thought I would like your art and now I learn that I would need to sell a kidney. You have trashed my dreams. 😪
|
|
|
Post by Handy on Feb 16, 2019 15:00:30 GMT -5
jim44444, Elynne is in a different income bracket than many of us blue collar folks. I tend to go for the $9 replica paintings or should I call them prints.
Jim4444, perhaps you can still have your replica dream if you are willing to accept an embossed print.
The down side is even people with higher incomes, they still have relationship issues that are too painful to endure after a certain point.
|
|
|
Post by elynne on Feb 16, 2019 16:16:21 GMT -5
jim44444, Elynne is in a different income bracket than many of us blue collar folks. I tend to go for the $9 replica paintings or should I call them prints. Jim4444, perhaps you can still have your replica dream if you are willing to accept an embossed print. The down side is even people with higher incomes, they still have relationship issues that are too painful to endure after a certain point. My income will barely feed me post divorce! But relationship problems cross all income levels. There are happy relationships and difficult ones in all walks of life!
|
|
|
Post by elynne on Feb 16, 2019 16:20:50 GMT -5
And the painting- I got him to accept my valuation of 9k. elynne, I have thought I would like your art and now I learn that I would need to sell a kidney. You have trashed my dreams. 😪 I have paintings at all price brackets. Lovely little landscapes for €125. Portraits start at €300. Larger figure paintings from €600 to €1200. If you’re serious about buying a painting, I was about to have a studio sale to make room for more work and to finance my trip to a realist painting conference in California. I can send you a link or some images of paintings for sale if you’d like.
|
|
|
Post by Handy on Feb 17, 2019 22:50:48 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by elynne on Mar 7, 2019 8:41:15 GMT -5
Just a little request. I’m headed into our 3rd mediation meeting. I’m a little nervous, but not as bad as last time. Send me good vibes! Positive thoughts! Strength! Wisdom! I’d like to wrap this pain pit of a marriage up and move the fuck on!
I have a few important points to make. 1. Stbx isn’t freely sharing financial info. I have a copy of a report he says doesn’t exist. I wonder how that will go over. 2. I want a temporary alimony agreement- giving me the ability to start looking for a place to live. 3. We divide the joint property equitably. Everything we own is joint property. 4. When does our parenting contract go into effect?
There’s more - but those are the bigger ones.
Wish me luck!
|
|
|
Post by ironhamster on Mar 7, 2019 8:50:15 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by elynne on Mar 7, 2019 8:51:01 GMT -5
Thanks! But it’s nice to hear it! 🤗
|
|
|
Post by ironhamster on Mar 7, 2019 9:00:48 GMT -5
One thing that was in my head last October was just wanting to get it over. I had some decisions go against me and ended up acquiescing to some details I wish I had fought harder on.
If things go poorly, don't be afraid to take a break to clear your head. You owe it to yourself and your daughter to not get rammy just to get it over.
|
|
|
Post by greatcoastal on Mar 7, 2019 9:24:40 GMT -5
If you don't quit, you can't loose.
Don't settle. There is risk in everything but it's the person who takes the risk, stands up for what's best ( best for everyone, ESPECIALLY YOU!!) who is the victor.
Your STBX certainly isn't going to settle, so don't be a victim anymore!
Here's to new beginnings!! For you and your daughters!
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!
|
|
|
Post by shamwow on Mar 7, 2019 15:13:17 GMT -5
One thing that was in my head last October was just wanting to get it over. I had some decisions go against me and ended up acquiescing to some details I wish I had fought harder on. If things go poorly, don't be afraid to take a break to clear your head. You owe it to yourself and your daughter to not get rammy just to get it over. I'd agree with this. He's a d-bag anyway. Standing your ground and taking a break to clear your head is smart.
|
|
|
Post by baza on Mar 7, 2019 21:01:39 GMT -5
I think you have been making your own "luck" over recent times Sister elynne . So I'll wish you clarity and calmness for this part of the process.
|
|
|
Post by DryCreek on Mar 8, 2019 14:14:26 GMT -5
elynne, you’re making good progress. Keep standing your ground and don’t let him wear you down emotionally. The person who has the most emotional investment in the outcome (“I *must* have the children every Christmas”) always gets the worse deal because they’ll compromise to get there. When you feel the urge to compromise, step back and let your lawyer carry on. Be bold in your attitude. Make statements, not requests. Assume as fact, and make him prove it’s not. “This is the parenting schedule we discussed; there’s no reason it can’t be effected immediately.” Your lawyer would be the one to advise on negotiations, but think about how you can paint a picture that he’s avoiding a worse outcome. Like “If you agree to alimony terms effective immediately, I won’t press for the maximum entitlement in court.” Be resolute!
|
|
|
Post by elynne on Apr 12, 2019 2:58:23 GMT -5
Mediation again today. I’m ready to put this to bed and move on!
Well prepared. I’ve got my strategy in place. I know what I want - my starting position. I know what my bottom limit is. If the STBX is unreasonable and unwilling to come to a mutually acceptable agreement I’m ready to simply end mediation and let a judge decide. He’ll soon find that I’m more generous than a judge will be.
Bring it on.
|
|