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Post by Deleted on May 23, 2016 19:24:46 GMT -5
I hope it is easy for admins to delete a thread to maintain some quality on the posts on here, and I apologize for reducing it even temporarily. Recent events on here have made me realize people hate posts more than I thought. I have been posting both in the forums and sending private messages so far and apologize for both. I have preferred mostly the private ones. Sending a private message is at least bugging only one person at a time while a public one would bother everyone at once. Besides a public message could feel hurtful if someone I mention or talk to feel exposed. Now I learn that even the private messages must have been bothering some without me knowing  There are still lots I don't understand here though, but guess I learned my lesson and will try to go quiet. Sorry again for spamming. |
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Post by DryCreek on May 23, 2016 20:07:18 GMT -5
My perspective, as stated elsewhere...
* If a woman is commenting publicly, that does not imply an invitation to reply privately.
* If you have an ongoing public dialog with someone, and it warrants a side discussion in private, you're not too far out of line.
* In the context here, it might be prudent when contacting a woman (particularly) via PM, to first ask if she's comfortable with a private conversation. If you don't get a reply, it's safe to assume the answer is "no".
* "No means no" - if you're asked to stop PM'ing someone... Well, stop.
I don't think it's that complex.
DC
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Post by Deleted on May 23, 2016 20:13:27 GMT -5
@ig87 it's difficult to make blanket statements about people "hating" posts or private messages. Each person has different standards on what they will/will not accept. If you have established a connection with someone privately, that is between you and that other person. As for the rest, just follow DryCreek's advice. |
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Post by wewbwb on May 24, 2016 7:46:33 GMT -5
My perspective, as stated elsewhere... * If a woman is commenting publicly, that does not imply an invitation to reply privately. * If you have an ongoing public dialog with someone, and it warrants a side discussion in private, you're not too far out of line. * In the context here, it might be prudent when contacting a woman (particularly) via PM, to first ask if she's comfortable with a private conversation. If you don't get a reply, it's safe to assume the answer is "no". * "No means no" - if you're asked to stop PM'ing someone... Well, stop. I don't think it's that complex. DC How do we this a "law"? Thank you DC |
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2016 10:08:21 GMT -5
@ig87, be yourself and let the pieces fall where they may. If you're objectionable the Mods or someone else will send you a PM and tell you so. I've gotten plenty of these messages and they don't hurt. If you haven't gotten any, trust me, you're not offending ANYONE.
Like @zumbamami's said elsewhere, enjoy the site until you get banned. If the community bans you, this isn't where you belong anyway.
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2016 10:22:13 GMT -5
I have never gotten any message from a PM, nor have I been told I was objectionable. I do intend to keep it that way. But I have done many of the things they are complaining about. I have to admit that the chats that followed has always felt nice and friendly and only several weeks lated did I find out the things I done were similar to what was frowned upon in different posts.
If I am to follow the advice though it means never reply privately to someone commenting publicly, and then for sure never reply publicly there aren't many ways to communicate. If those are the requirements I guess no one should ever post publicly, and only very few can message privately. That isn't for me really.
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2016 10:59:34 GMT -5
I have never gotten any message from a PM, nor have I been told I was objectionable. I do intend to keep it that way. But I have done many of the things they are complaining about. I have to admit that the chats that followed has always felt nice and friendly and only several weeks lated did I find out the things I done were similar to what was frowned upon in different posts. If I am to follow the advice though it means never reply privately to someone commenting publicly, and then for sure never reply publicly there aren't many ways to communicate. If those are the requirements I guess no one should ever post publicly, and only very few can message privately. That isn't for me really. I'm a "R E P E A T O F F E N D E R". Not a very nice word is it? No way, No how. Thread Hijacking, goofing about sensitive subjects, all of it. We all just need to try to be Excellent to one another. There's been no hate here that I'm aware of, but sensitivity about very sensitive subjects is the key I need to keep in mind. |
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2016 11:02:04 GMT -5
@ig87 It seems to me like you are reading too much into a situation that another member created for himself. You stated that you have NOT been contacted by the Admins or Mods, about your participation. Therefore, what you are doing is not in violation of the rules. Stop stressing and continue to act as you have. If it applied to you, you would have been contacted by the Admin.
As I mentioned on another thread, the banned member created the situation for himself. It was handled privately by the Admin and Mods. Period.
Continue to participate, or not, as you have been. It's your choice.
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Post by unmatched on May 24, 2016 13:27:15 GMT -5
I have never gotten any message from a PM, nor have I been told I was objectionable. I do intend to keep it that way. But I have done many of the things they are complaining about. I have to admit that the chats that followed has always felt nice and friendly and only several weeks lated did I find out the things I done were similar to what was frowned upon in different posts. If I am to follow the advice though it means never reply privately to someone commenting publicly, and then for sure never reply publicly there aren't many ways to communicate. If those are the requirements I guess no one should ever post publicly, and only very few can message privately. That isn't for me really. @ig87 I think you are taking these 'requirements' too seriously. People like chatting, and a 5 minute glance over the site will tell you that most of the women here like talking about sex as much as the men do. What they don't want is to be subjected to a barrage of dick pics and requests to sext from people they have never heard of. So if you are having chats with people that seem to you to be friendly, and particularly if the other person keeps responding, then there really isn't any problem. If you find you are trying to start chats which are purely about sex and you get either no response or 'please go away and leave me alone', then please go away and leave them alone. Simple! |
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Post by eternaloptimism on May 24, 2016 14:39:49 GMT -5
As above @ig87  Chill a bit, like @zumbamami said, if you had behaved inappropriately you'd know it by now. X |
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