Her behaviour over this issue seems perfectly consistent with everything else you have described about her past behaviour Brother nyctos .
And of course she wants to undermine you and keep your self esteem in the shitter. Because if you had a reasonably intact level of self esteem you most likely would not cop this bullshit behaviour of hers and would kick her to the kerb. And that might prove rather inconvenient for her, particularly the absence of your cash.
She sees it to be in her best interests to have you docile and compliant, and she has discovered that being verbally abusive produces this outcome. It works for her. There doesn't seem to be any reason why it won't continue to work for her.
Post by workingonit on Jan 9, 2019 20:51:56 GMT -5
Ugh. I hate hearing this. A parenting book I read once gave me the advice to "take the wind out of their sails." If there is no wind a sail os just a stupid sheet hanging out hoping to have an impact. In other words- don't let the bullshit bring you down!
I heard an interview with a psychologist once that talked about body and mind connection. She was saying that certain neurochemicals get released in the classic victory pose (arms raised in victory like a marathon winner) that increase confidence and project a winning attitude. She suggested doing that pose and a little whooping before things like interviews. I have done that in the bathroom before every job interview. I have never not gotten a job I interviewed for! My point? Believe in yourself! And whoop a little at your awesomeness before your interview.
Post by northstarmom on Jan 9, 2019 23:13:32 GMT -5
nyctos said: "So I'm up for a job interview, trying to prepare, and W decides to criticize my preparation, even though she knows nothing about the field.
If it were the first time is probably ignore it, but she regularly seems to be trying to undermine my confidence and self-esteem."
After years of such put downs, by now it's time to realize that when you are in situations in which you want support, your wife is not the person to confide in or to turn to. Time to cultivate friendships with people who do support you.
Baza, I know it sucks either way for Nyctos. I think I see Ms Nyctos as hiding her insecurities more than her outright abilities about her being smart enough to carry out vicious plans. Quite a few people that don't have it all together try to lessen their own diminished self worth by lowering another person's value.
In my case, Ms Handy doesn't have it all together so when she directs a zinger at me, I take it as if she really isn't any better than me at moving ahead, but she just wants to lower me so she doesn't look as lacking in what ever area she came from to sting me with one of her zingers.
For me it doesn't hurt as much when she throws those zingers at me. Sure I don't do some stuff correctly or to 100%, but I know my W wouldn't do half as much as I do and what she might try to do wouldn't turn as well, except for some cooking tasks. S he would take twice as long as I do cooking and leave other things unattended. That is how I cope with some of my W's negativity. Anyone else's mileage may vary.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
tamara68: @worksforme I think I have to be more careful for all infected people. Most likely I already have Covid19
Apr 1, 2020 3:29:42 GMT -5
worksforme2: tamara68.....it's been a couple weeks since you posted you may have the covid19 virus. hopefully you are feeling better and are on your way to renewed health
Apr 11, 2020 5:31:38 GMT -5
tamara68: @worksforme thanks, yes I am feeling better. How is it in the USA?
Apr 14, 2020 1:57:26 GMT -5
worksforme2: some better and some worse,..virus seems to be slowing down, but people are beginning to refuse to stay inside,...worst thing I see is Biden leading in the election poles,...but that could be fake news
Apr 20, 2020 16:56:22 GMT -5
mirrororchid: Politics? Is that what we want to happen here?
Apr 21, 2020 6:21:24 GMT -5
petrushka: Certainly not American style politics. Toxic echo chambers.
Apr 23, 2020 16:21:52 GMT -5
petrushka: However, I feel that sexual politics, including political moves that impact the relationships between gender (misogynist, misandrist, etc) definitely deserve room in this context.
Apr 23, 2020 16:22:59 GMT -5
fred: just calculated that i've spent somewhere near 19,000 days (& nights) as a "rejectee".AND that allows for 2,000+ days (& nights) on business travel apart from her. i've chosen to "stay" .....would never do that again, and can't as you see doing the math
May 15, 2020 18:01:15 GMT -5
worksforme2: 19000 days and nights,....damn dude, that's 52 yrs.
Jun 17, 2020 9:19:10 GMT -5
fred: you're a little short works - was thinking this AM, there has NEVER been a day when she indicated desire for me physically (other than for heavy lifting or finance)........LOL...........earlier, i had enough libido for both of us, now i'm left with guilt
Jun 20, 2020 13:11:12 GMT -5
fred: over imposing myself on her rather than simply leaving .....DAMN LOVE ANYWAY !
Jun 20, 2020 13:12:12 GMT -5
mesulina: update everyone, still has not happened. I have now come to accept that I will live with out. It is just different now.
Jun 29, 2020 19:32:31 GMT -5
worksforme2: Sorry mesulina,... but on the positive side you did stock up on toys a short time back,..now might be the time to go for the gusto
Jun 30, 2020 17:42:54 GMT -5
grower: Embrace a change, you will wonder why you waited so long
Jul 9, 2020 11:22:56 GMT -5
grower: Your life clock is ticking away, don't waste all your time. Live some.
Jul 24, 2020 9:53:20 GMT -5
fred: blue guy, i was where you are 30 years ago. stayed.................nothing changed. if i didn't love this nice lady so much i'd be in deep regret. if she doesn't think of you in a hundred "other" ways (as does my wife) GET OUT ! Life is short
Aug 10, 2020 17:43:15 GMT -5
jerri: Yuk on the plucking chicken feathers. If a chicken doesn't get sex and intimacy she just finds a beautiful cock sooner or later. I'd say there's a much higher "philandering" rate than anyone would care to admit. The rooster who is tormented findsa chicken!
Sept 10, 2020 8:23:56 GMT -5
csl: And yet, there is an entire segment of ILIASM stayers.
Sept 10, 2020 22:04:05 GMT -5
jerri: Exactly I have read multiple threads. I was very impressed with all the different solutions everyone has found. Intellectual group and the camaraderie is nice
Sept 11, 2020 9:44:57 GMT -5