The most shocking AGONIZING thing was being immediately replaced with my ex-husband's girlfriend. I wondered, "What the hell is he going to do with a girlfriend? Fuck her?"
This is something I write often about. I'm a late 40's dating man in a metropolitan city. My survey size is getting to be fairly large.
My ex-wife did similar, setting up an ad for an asian boy toy, the day after our agreement to separate, literally hours after she engaged me on what we should do about other partners until we could arrange physical separation, and agreeing we'd take some time off to let it air out.
I've met and dated quite a few women who were in marriages and thought they were sexually frigid, only to discover a robust and experimental appetite post-marriage. And I've met women whose husbands did the same as yours.
It's why I tend to think this "aesexuality" theory is bullshit we agree to because our hearts can't let us conceive of the ugly truth, which is that in almost all of these "low drive" cases, it's more a case of how a partner has come to see the other, or how a partner has come to see the circumstance of being married to them.
Last Edit: Jan 13, 2020 14:25:36 GMT -5 by apocrypha
padgemi, God helps those who helps themselves. Or, as the Bible puts it more literally (as I recall) "The rain falls on the righteous and the unrighteous."
Or, as I say...meh. Stuff happens. Ever onward. It's all good! Keep saying that even when you don't totally believe it. ;-)
I like the way Billie Holiday sang it: “God bless the child that’s got his own”
I can still remember sitting in church listening to the preacher discouraging the “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” mentality and saying to just trust God and pray/Trust and Obey, and thinking to myself: Bootstraps have done far more for me than what you’re saying right now. So if I have any faith left (which is marginal), I know that without work, it’s dead.
Last Edit: Jan 13, 2020 19:12:59 GMT -5 by padgemi
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
petrushka: In my world view, you are buying into some really shitty memes there.
Nov 5, 2019 17:25:20 GMT -5
apocrypha: The "feminist agenda" has changed across the past 60 years. Some feminists of the 60's call the current iteration "fainting couch feminism", thinking it a subversion and betrayal of women's lib. Hard to get a bead on what folks think, using a broad label.
Nov 8, 2019 9:37:14 GMT -5
apocrypha: No aspect of that article (which I amount to a magazine offering bad diet advice) promotes rape, coercion (beyond seduction), sexual assault, and I don't understand your public performance suggesting that they would be and thus implicating bfar.
Nov 8, 2019 9:41:51 GMT -5
mirrororchid: pfar, being sensitive means understanding how others think and feel. It doesn't mean you are compelled to adopt their thoughts and feelings. This is a matter of understanding people including loved ones. If you aren't sensitive, you lack tools to
Nov 11, 2019 8:09:49 GMT -5
mirrororchid: live well. You need not soften, but you should be able to understand vulnerability. Recognizing others' distress provides me with cues when I need to use self-control or extend help. If you're strong, you should be helping others. Use what works.
Nov 11, 2019 8:14:06 GMT -5
worksforme2: You know who I miss ...I miss smartkat and andie..and snowman 12345
Nov 14, 2019 9:16:44 GMT -5