Start letting go of those not ready to love you

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northstarmom
Senior Members

Posts: 4,357

Start letting go of those not ready to love you Dec 27, 2018 11:33:19 GMT -5 via mobile greatcoastal, solodriver, and 11 more like this

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Post by northstarmom on Dec 27, 2018 11:33:19 GMT -5

“When you start showing up to your life wholly and completely, with joy and interest and commitment, not everyone is going to be ready to meet you there. It doesn’t mean you need to change who you are. It means you need to stop loving people who aren’t ready to love you. ...
“It is the hardest thing you will ever have to do, and it will also be the most important: stop giving your love to those who aren’t ready to love you.

Stop having hard conversations with people who don’t want to change. Stop showing up for people who are indifferent about your presence. Stop prioritizing people who make you an option. Stop loving people who aren’t ready to love you....”

thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2018/12/next-year-let-go-of-the-people-who-arent-ready-to-love-you/

Last Edit: Dec 27, 2018 11:34:01 GMT -5 by northstarmom

sadkat Senior Member Posts: 1,185	Start letting go of those not ready to love you Dec 27, 2018 12:37:20 GMT -5 via Tapatalk Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by sadkat on Dec 27, 2018 12:37:20 GMT -5 Thank you northstarmom- I needed this today...

baza
Senior Members

Tread your own path

Posts: 5,556

Start letting go of those not ready to love you Dec 27, 2018 19:23:10 GMT -5 WindSister, workingonit, and 2 more like this

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Post by baza on Dec 27, 2018 19:23:10 GMT -5

There are X number of people in your life.
Most of them couldn't give a shit about you.
Some, not many, do give a bit of a shit for you at some casual level.
Fewer still care quite a lot for you and are reasonably compatible with you.
Fewer still (and you are well down into single figures here) might make a good life partner for you.

There is not a real lot of point in disappating your energy, emotion and effort into people who do not - cannot - or will not - reciprocate your feelings for them.

Last Edit: Dec 28, 2018 5:51:17 GMT -5 by baza

WindSister Senior Members I have thoughts, but I could be wrong ;) Posts: 1,550 Age Range: 41-45	Start letting go of those not ready to love you Dec 27, 2018 19:29:12 GMT -5 via mobile solodriver and choosinghappy like this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by WindSister on Dec 27, 2018 19:29:12 GMT -5 Perfect. Could not love this post more!!!
	Those who feel lovable, who love, and who experience belonging simply believe they are worthy of love and belonging. - Brene Brown

choosinghappy Senior Members ILIASM Poet Laureate Posts: 1,741 Age Range: 36-40	Start letting go of those not ready to love you Dec 29, 2018 16:19:50 GMT -5 via Tapatalk solodriver likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by choosinghappy on Dec 29, 2018 16:19:50 GMT -5 I loved the quotes you pulled out but I just read the full article and Wow. Spot on. I love it and am saving it to read over and over again. Thanks NSM.
	"Let your faith be bigger than your fear."

solodriver Senior Members Emotionally Seperated Posts: 1,697 Age Range: 56-60	Start letting go of those not ready to love you Dec 29, 2018 16:52:46 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by solodriver on Dec 29, 2018 16:52:46 GMT -5 I've taken notes and posted them to my iPhone under my Exit Notes to review frequently.
	It’s hard to continue to love someone romantically who doesn’t love you back in the way you need to feel like a whole person.

caballotierra
Junior Member

Posts: 41

Start letting go of those not ready to love you Jan 21, 2019 21:48:45 GMT -5 via mobile

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Post by caballotierra on Jan 21, 2019 21:48:45 GMT -5

northstarmom Thank you for sharing this. Holy smokes. I’ve already passed it on to two others. Another one of those things that I can see so clearly in hindsight but did not connect as I was miserably trying to make it work. Detachment is a beast. Took me a long long time to practice it with my partner. And now that I’m on the other side of dependency, I am not going back.

And I’m hoping you all hold me to that. =D

cassiopeia92 Junior Member Posts: 67	Start letting go of those not ready to love you May 15, 2019 0:24:00 GMT -5 via mobile Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by cassiopeia92 on May 15, 2019 0:24:00 GMT -5 This article is fabulous. I have been guilty of this so much, no more.

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mirrororchid: We've compared denier/refuser spouses to prison wardens. Dr. Psychmom has compared them to hostage takers and the unhappy spouse has Stockholm syndrome. Prisoners can't leave. Stockholm hostages don't because they want a good outcome for the captor. Sept 10, 2024 18:54:11 GMT -5

mirrororchid: Heard on a podcast: "Dating is where we present our best selves. Vulnerability is the opposite. Where we risk our partner knowing things that are imperfect. This is the way to forge the life partner bond." Sept 10, 2024 19:17:03 GMT -5

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week5of35years: My Wife had 30 free mins before she had to start work this AM... I said.. "lets have a quick shag" and she said she was going to walk the dog instead.... Still work to do.... Sept 17, 2024 3:51:34 GMT -5

isthisit: Week 5; For once I am in your wife’s corner on this one, I’d have walked the dog too! You need to work in your delivery there… Sept 20, 2024 0:01:57 GMT -5

week5of35years: LOL, in my defence, I squeezed her boobs as we were waking up and she was pretty responsive ...... If that had just come out of the blue I would have smacked myself in the face .... ha ha ha Sept 23, 2024 5:54:56 GMT -5

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