|
Post by flounder on Dec 17, 2018 18:14:00 GMT -5
I learned a lot about integrity from my grandfather. Respect. Pride.
“I want to have pride,like my mother had. And not like the kind in the Bible that says it’s bad.” -The Avett Brothers.
|
|
|
Post by sadkat on Dec 17, 2018 20:32:25 GMT -5
I love this! h - sounds like your father was an excellent role model! I have a very conservative family and this ethic is all-important. My father isn't really religious but work ethic was like a religion to his family and to not work and ask for hand outs was like blasphemy. His grandparents immigrated to the US in 1899 with almost nothing. They became farmers and then got into masonry work also. Most of my uncles and cousins have also served in the military. Hard work runs deep. I'm thankful for his example on that, but as for being a role model, that was his one trick pony. He was angry all the time, belittled my mother and talked down to her. He blamed us kids every time HE misplaced something that nobody would have any reason to touch. The littlest annoyances would set him off and you could show him proof when he was wrong and he still wouldn't admit it. My mother eventually divorced him but not before he hid a bunch of assets in his brother's name so she got screwed in that deal. Every other aspect of his life was an example of what not to do. We spend time together now and get along better but more as distant friends than father and son. To his credit, he has never spoken negatively about my mother in front of me. That's about all I can say. It’s good that you were able to learn from the good and the bad, then. Sounds like you had it a little rough growing up!
|
|
|
Post by h on Dec 17, 2018 21:38:41 GMT -5
I have a very conservative family and this ethic is all-important. My father isn't really religious but work ethic was like a religion to his family and to not work and ask for hand outs was like blasphemy. His grandparents immigrated to the US in 1899 with almost nothing. They became farmers and then got into masonry work also. Most of my uncles and cousins have also served in the military. Hard work runs deep. I'm thankful for his example on that, but as for being a role model, that was his one trick pony. He was angry all the time, belittled my mother and talked down to her. He blamed us kids every time HE misplaced something that nobody would have any reason to touch. The littlest annoyances would set him off and you could show him proof when he was wrong and he still wouldn't admit it. My mother eventually divorced him but not before he hid a bunch of assets in his brother's name so she got screwed in that deal. Every other aspect of his life was an example of what not to do. We spend time together now and get along better but more as distant friends than father and son. To his credit, he has never spoken negatively about my mother in front of me. That's about all I can say. It’s good that you were able to learn from the good and the bad, then. Sounds like you had it a little rough growing up! There wasn't any abuse or anything. It was just stressful. Walking on eggshells all the time was the norm. Looking back on it now (and I mean literally right now due to this conversation) that probably was a huge contributor to why I was so reluctant to stick up for myself in my marriage. I had an entire lifetime of practice in smoothing things over and not making waves. I was the buffer in the house and when I went off to college, that was when their marriage fell apart. (I never felt responsible for their problems but I knew that me not being there was why it didn't hold together. They never should have gotten married at all. They were completely wrong for each other.) Apparently I continued those habits of deescalation and nonconfrontation into my adult life. I avoided upsetting my W and tried to make everything peaceful at the expense of my own happiness. I allowed this to happen. This is a big realization for me. Thank you for posting these questions of the day. My accidental therapy!🙂
|
|
|
Post by baza on Dec 17, 2018 22:22:09 GMT -5
There's the thing Brother h . There is a credible school of thought that an atmosphere where you feel compelled to "walk on eggshells" (as you indicate in your old role of "son" and in your present role as "husband") is in fact - abusive.
|
|
|
Post by greatcoastal on Dec 18, 2018 8:25:05 GMT -5
Question for today: What was one thing your parents taught you that stayed with you? For me - if I committed to being somewhere at a specific time, I needed to be prompt. Arrive on time or even early. Lateness was never acceptable. To this day, I get stressed out when I’m running late! medium.com/personal-growth/love-is-a-verb-not-a-noun-f18163088e8f
|
|
|
Post by sadkat on Dec 18, 2018 8:28:00 GMT -5
Question for today- something that requires less introspection. Do you like music? If so, what is your current favorite song on your playlist?
I’m unapologetically a huge country music fan. My current favorite song is “Here Tonight” by Brett Young.
Looking forward to seeing your choices!
|
|
|
Post by greatcoastal on Dec 18, 2018 8:34:03 GMT -5
Ain't no mountain High Enough. Yes! I love music. I love to dance to it, sing to it, make love with it playing, listen to it while working or driving, and most of all being inspired to press on and keep moving forward!!
|
|
|
Post by greatcoastal on Dec 18, 2018 8:40:09 GMT -5
Here's a very moving performance in country music for you sadkat.
|
|
|
Post by sadkat on Dec 18, 2018 9:28:18 GMT -5
greatcoastal- I saw this audition all those years ago! It is very moving! I’m a huge Garth Brooks fan. Going to one of his concerts has been on my bucket list for years. I’m finally getting the opportunity next year! Thanks for sharing it with me- it was a nice reminder!
|
|
catsloveme
Full Member
Dwelling in the possible
Posts: 204
|
Post by catsloveme on Dec 18, 2018 9:45:00 GMT -5
I love this question! Currently loving this song...
|
|
catsloveme
Full Member
Dwelling in the possible
Posts: 204
|
Post by catsloveme on Dec 18, 2018 9:50:55 GMT -5
Question for today: What was one thing your parents taught you that stayed with you? For me - if I committed to being somewhere at a specific time, I needed to be prompt. Arrive on time or even early. Lateness was never acceptable. To this day, I get stressed out when I’m running late! medium.com/personal-growth/love-is-a-verb-not-a-noun-f18163088e8fExcellent article! One of the things we’ve struggled with in our marriage is feeling acknowledged.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2018 10:00:12 GMT -5
I love most all music, especially R&B and old school soul! #babymakingmusic I could post dozens! Music saves me. Music heals me. I escape and free myself with music. Depending on my mood (Tracy Chapman, Gerald Levert, Luke Bryan, Al Green, Stevie Wonder, Kelly Clarkson). The song that first popped into my mind when I read the question for today, however, was this one. It always tugs at my heartstrings. Still waiting for my husband to "get it" and make me feel wanted. Hunter Hayes - Wanted.
|
|
|
Post by sadkat on Dec 18, 2018 11:38:29 GMT -5
I love that song too @whynotm3!
|
|
|
Post by sadkat on Dec 18, 2018 11:47:31 GMT -5
Since you all got fancy and copied links to your fav songs, here’s mine. Watcher beware, tho. This is the first time I’ve seen the music video. It’s hot! I should have known!
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2018 12:06:24 GMT -5
@ Sadkat I love Brett, too. My current ringtone on my phone is his "In Case You Didn't Know" ... another painful reminder of what I'm missing, of course. lol!
|
|