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Post by Handy on Nov 2, 2019 22:43:25 GMT -5
Fade
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Post by isthisit on Nov 3, 2019 2:24:40 GMT -5
I agree it can fade, and as I found in my SM, fade alarmingly quickly.
For me though I doubt I could feel nothing for someone I have loved. Even if I may wish for this.
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Post by h on Nov 4, 2019 13:27:32 GMT -5
I think in many cases, SOME feeling of love would remain but would fade away to the kind of love one has for a family member. I think in some cases the bitterness and resentment kills off any feelings resembling love. There's a wide range of possible outcomes between there.
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Post by deadzone75 on Nov 5, 2019 12:29:13 GMT -5
I definitely agree love can fade. I still love my W to a degree, but I no longer desire her. Can't have true love without desire.
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Deleted
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Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Nov 5, 2019 13:58:18 GMT -5
I think love ebbs and flows. The initial "puppy love" thing doesn't last but I have been in and out of love with my wife a number of times in 30 years.
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Post by sadkat on Nov 8, 2019 23:13:11 GMT -5
I think love ebbs and flows. The initial "puppy love" thing doesn't last but I have been in and out of love with my wife a number of times in 30 years. This is an I interesting comment @tooyoungtobeold2. Can you remember the reasons why you fell back in love with your wife?
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Post by northstarmom on Nov 9, 2019 9:55:16 GMT -5
“ I saw this quote online a few weeks ago. Thoughts? “The right person will come once you have suffered enough to deserve them”
It’s a great saying for masochists to believe in. The only reward of suffering is more suffering.
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Post by flounder on Nov 9, 2019 13:10:27 GMT -5
Do you think once you love someone, you will always love them? Or do you think love can fade away with time? Depends on how much you love them is my guess.
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Post by greatcoastal on Nov 9, 2019 14:12:44 GMT -5
You can love the memory of someone. How truthful and accurate that memory is depends on you.
Old photos are a good way of dredging up lost memories, good and bad.
Rehashing positive times can be good for rebuilding your self!
Side note: in studying narcissism, many times the narc. chose you because YOU are a giving caring person, and you have your act together in areas where they do not. One day they are all into you for positive attributes, than the next day, you are to blame for everything and anything that goes wrong, and they have you doubting yourself ( gaslighting)
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Post by ironhamster on Nov 11, 2019 4:26:01 GMT -5
Do you think once you love someone, you will always love them? Or do you think love can fade away with time? The latter. My divorce brought out the woman I really married. Sometimes love can grow forever. Sometimes love decays and rots.
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Post by sadkat on Nov 18, 2019 23:50:19 GMT -5
Here is a good question for those of us who are deep thinkers. My apologies if you don’t want to think too hard. I’m afraid this question will require some thought. Well, it’s actually 2 questions. And no- I didn’t come up with them. I found them online on a relationship thread- go figure!
How do you know when you love someone? Does love grow slowly over time or do you believe in love at first sight?
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Post by ScottDinTN on Nov 19, 2019 0:00:51 GMT -5
How do you know when you love someone? Does love grow slowly over time or do you believe in love at first sight? I think you know when you love someone is when you put their needs ahead of your own and you want to spend time with them and make them happy. Being in their presence makes you happy. I believe in infatuation or lust at first sight; but not love. For some, that may evolve into love over time, but the person you see at first sight has little to do with who they really are. Getting to know someone is a big part of finding out if you really love them. The good, the bad, and the ugly; the whole package.
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Post by Handy on Nov 19, 2019 0:20:31 GMT -5
Love grew slowly for me until it was counter productive. I say this because I felt responsible for providing for my future wife before it was more than like and lets do some things that were entertaining or exciting.
I was "old school" where the man had to finance the needs of the wife and kids or you were not a "man."
SO with love came a lot of responsibility.
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Post by DryCreek on Nov 19, 2019 0:22:12 GMT -5
How do you know when you love someone? Does love grow slowly over time or do you believe in love at first sight? I believe in very strong attraction at first sight. Certainly, lust at first sight. I think healthy “love” develops over time with more familiarity. I can’t say what the tipping point really is. I think love at first sight is a delusion, in the truest meaning of the word. I think someone can be so enamored that they believe it’s love when they don’t really know the person at all... they either project a fantasy onto them, or they convince themselves that the person’s qualities are exactly what they’ve been looking for. That gets awkward when reality sets in (a la, love fading with familiarity). Our minds can do an amazing job of substituting the unknowns with our idealized image. Think about this example... if you’ve ever seen radio personalities, do they look at all like you imagined? Unless you’ve seen photos, I bet none of us here look like what you might expect from our writings. Then again, sometimes people look the part, and the nerdy looking guy really is a stereotypical nerdy guy. And if you’re cruising the beach looking for muscle heads, you’ll probably find several exactly as you might presume them to be. In which case, maybe it could be love at first sight, if the fantasy projections turn out to be right. Hmmm.
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sunnysean
Junior Member
Posts: 59
Age Range: 41-45
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Post by sunnysean on Nov 19, 2019 9:37:39 GMT -5
I know I love someone when these things take place. 1. I don't edit my thoughts and feeling that come out of my mouth, and I don't take offense if they turn the filter off. 2. I would give them a kidney if we were a match. 3. I get twitchy when we are apart.
I certainly believe in atomic attraction at first sight, but not love. I appreciate beauty, but sometimes there is an attraction that transcends traditional norms like a bomb going off. It has only happened a few times in my life.
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