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Post by Handy on Oct 15, 2019 10:39:45 GMT -5
I don't know if it is the worst thing but like so many other people I used to think all cheaters had very low moral and ethical standards. Well, that was before the sex between my W and I took a serious nose-dive to non existent. Now I look at some affairs and think "way-to-go!"
Not being able to express my loving and sexual feelings is very depressing. Being able to express loving feelings with someone you like and admire makes life so much more enjoyable.
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Post by angeleyes65 on Oct 15, 2019 15:15:01 GMT -5
I don't know if it is the worst thing but like so many other people I used to think all cheaters had very low moral and ethical standards. Well, that was before the sex between my W and I took a serious nose-dive to non existent. Now I look at some affairs and think "way-to-go!" Not being able to express my loving and sexual feelings is very depressing. Being able to express loving feelings with someone you like and admire makes life so much more enjoyable. Yeah I could have put that also. I used to think I would never cheat but eventually I did after years of nothing and losing my self confidence and sinking into depression. Then I was angry because he turned me into something I never wanted to be a liar and unfaithful. And people say once a cheater always a cheater but that's absolutely not true. And yes I look at other people that spouses cheat and think there are two sides to every story.
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Post by sadkat on Oct 15, 2019 19:58:42 GMT -5
I saw this quote online a few weeks ago. Thoughts? “The right person will come once you have suffered enough to deserve them”.
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Post by angeleyes65 on Oct 15, 2019 21:52:49 GMT -5
In theory. But I don't think that means you should suffer but I think it means when you have had your fill and are ready to start living the way you deserve. The saying goes if you don't like you who else will. When you turn that corner everything starts to shift.
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Post by saarinista on Oct 15, 2019 21:59:23 GMT -5
I think it's a saying like "Everything happens for a reason" that placates people in sad moments, but is not necessarily true.
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Post by Handy on Oct 15, 2019 22:35:56 GMT -5
Sadkat I saw this quote online a few weeks ago. Thoughts? “The right person will come once you have suffered enough to deserve them”.
Sayings and slogans are sometimes words of wisdom and often just something that sounds good to the person that said the slogan. The slogan doesn't have to be true.
I would never walk a mile for a camel (cigarette). So that slogan is bogus.
Another slogan that really irritates me is "It is Gods will" and "God never gives people more than they can handle." Tell the latter one to a person that committed suicide.
About the bolded slogan above, maybe a better slogan might be "when you had enough and see what hasn't worked, you might decide to try something different." "Maybe one day something different will work better for you."
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Post by DryCreek on Oct 16, 2019 2:39:26 GMT -5
Handy, “Never criticize a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes. Because then you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have his shoes.” 😜 sadkat, some variations on your quote are swirling in my head, akin to “When the student is willing, the teacher will appear.” As in, perception and attitude. When someone has been deprived, suffered, etc., they have a whole different level of appreciation than someone who hasn’t. Freedom means a whole lot more to someone who has lived without it. Many of us wouldn’t stand out on a visually superficial site like Tinder, but we might be priceless to someone else who’s struggled like us. Precisely because they’ve come to value intimacy much more than body types.
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sunnysean
Junior Member
Posts: 59
Age Range: 41-45
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Post by sunnysean on Oct 16, 2019 9:43:05 GMT -5
I saw this quote online a few weeks ago. Thoughts? “The right person will come once you have suffered enough to deserve them”
According to my "suffer" meter, I only have 35 more years!
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Post by sadkat on Oct 16, 2019 10:44:24 GMT -5
sunnysean- I sure hope you don’t suffer for 35 years! 22 years of suffering nearly killed me! I happen to love this quote! Maybe because it fits my state of mind right now? DryCreek- I agree completely, being deprived of something certainly makes us value it more.
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Post by saarinista on Oct 16, 2019 19:20:02 GMT -5
Worst thing my refuser has done to me? Parental alienation. Didn't see that one comin'. That is awful. Have you talked to an attorney about whether there is anything that can be done to alleviate the situation? My heart goes out to you. On one hand the fact that she is acting like this confirms that she is a disturbed person and I'm glad you're not with her anymore because of that . But that does not take away the pain of being spurned by the children you love. I'll add you to my prayer list. That sounds like a cliche but I don't know what else to say. My husband's ex did the same thing. It's inexcusable and all too common.
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Post by sadkat on Oct 20, 2019 16:02:06 GMT -5
I’m not sure I’ve asked this question before but it’s worth asking again.
If you were the bravest version of yourself today, what would you be doing?
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Post by Handy on Oct 20, 2019 16:33:05 GMT -5
The second part of the question is why are you not doing it today, this week?
I will go first. Most likely a common answer to the bravest you would to divorce and explore new relationships.
My answer to the second question would be not wanting to hurt a spouse we were married to a long time.
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Post by sadkat on Nov 2, 2019 22:07:24 GMT -5
Do you think once you love someone, you will always love them? Or do you think love can fade away with time?
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Post by angeleyes65 on Nov 2, 2019 22:09:43 GMT -5
I think it can fade
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Post by baza on Nov 2, 2019 22:42:36 GMT -5
Do you think once you love someone, you will always love them? Or do you think love can fade away with time? I am not a fan of "absolutes" like the word "always". Or "never". "All". "None". "Everyone". being some other examples. Things are rarely absolute in my opinion. Anyway, I am probably being pedantic here, so more on topic, I offer this .... .... Love can fade away with time, and you probably can see a lot of examples of this in the stories of the membership. That doesn't necessarily mean that the love becomes hate (though sometimes this can happen too)
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