I would like to get back to Love, unfortunately I seem to spend way to much time dwelling on the other side of that double edged sword. Dwelling in hate and resentment, anger and in generally pissed to have wasted so much time. But I am resolved to end it and am working toward that end and need to bury any remnant of hope and move forward. Going to start to expand my personal world meeting some folks in some local meetups in area of my interests, mainly outdoors related stuff that have long gone by the wayside. Need to maintain my calm and control as she is on board with the divorce. Nothing to be gained by being anything else but civil and nice and supportive, but there sure some nasty undercurrents bubbling around. Glad to know I'm not the only one to beat that dead horse, even though its been reduced to skin and bones, a few flies and bad smell. But Hell, I did wake up above ground and it's going to be an awesome day.
@sakat that’s an interesting author. Do you know at all what she means when she says wifely duties ?
Sharon Pope is a relationship counselor. I found her through a promotion in which she gave away a free relationship book in exchange for an email address. I suppose it’s a marketing technique to gain customers. I gave her my email address in exchange for the book (which didn’t have a lot of substance- more marketing stuff, IMO). I receive periodic emails from her that are much more insightful and helpful. This quote was from her most recent email. It had a lot more background- I just copied the snippet that resounded with me. I’ll pull the detail she provided about sex and “wifely duties” and post it here for you.
So if you don't enjoy sex with your significant other just don't have it because love is more than that. Knowing your partner has needs and when they are denied they will just have to change their needs. Do the refusers have the knowledge pre commitment that they really are not into sex and just put up with it early, only to yank that rug out and make you have to play some fucking jump threw hoops game and you probably still not get any. I guess when you don't like something you don't miss it. Unfortunately for me, the lack and denial of sex, does not make me feel loved, I would hope that I would want my partners needs to be meet. If you started out in a non sexual relationship so be it, but to be in a sexual/loving relationship and change the rules is psychological warfare and is not right. Trying to remove obstacles that may hinder the mode, ie honey dues is not.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
petrushka: In my world view, you are buying into some really shitty memes there.
Nov 5, 2019 17:25:20 GMT -5
apocrypha: The "feminist agenda" has changed across the past 60 years. Some feminists of the 60's call the current iteration "fainting couch feminism", thinking it a subversion and betrayal of women's lib. Hard to get a bead on what folks think, using a broad label.
Nov 8, 2019 9:37:14 GMT -5
apocrypha: No aspect of that article (which I amount to a magazine offering bad diet advice) promotes rape, coercion (beyond seduction), sexual assault, and I don't understand your public performance suggesting that they would be and thus implicating bfar.
Nov 8, 2019 9:41:51 GMT -5
mirrororchid: pfar, being sensitive means understanding how others think and feel. It doesn't mean you are compelled to adopt their thoughts and feelings. This is a matter of understanding people including loved ones. If you aren't sensitive, you lack tools to
Nov 11, 2019 8:09:49 GMT -5
mirrororchid: live well. You need not soften, but you should be able to understand vulnerability. Recognizing others' distress provides me with cues when I need to use self-control or extend help. If you're strong, you should be helping others. Use what works.
Nov 11, 2019 8:14:06 GMT -5
worksforme2: You know who I miss ...I miss smartkat and andie..and snowman 12345
Nov 14, 2019 9:16:44 GMT -5