|
|
Post by wewbwb on May 21, 2016 23:31:15 GMT -5
Backstory: I have a friend IRL that is pretty, smart, funny and quick. We dated a bit in high school but remained friends after she broke up with me. She is now married and living in an other state. But we email and talk when we can (her husband is a jealous and dumb man) she asked if i could contact one of her other old boyfriends through fb to see how he is. I did. How is he? Stupid. A bag of rocks. Her husband is the same way. That's her "type". I can't be bothered with a woman who can't challenge me. An intelligent funny woman catches my eye. I don't care if she has a flipper. Its better if she doesn't though.
Question:
How important is intelligence to YOU? What qualities do you find attractive?
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 22, 2016 0:35:09 GMT -5
Intelligence, confidence and a quick, dark, dry wit are non-negotiable, as are tolerance, inclusiveness and love of animals, especially dogs.
He should feel comfortable in any social situation - from watching a soccer game at a local pub/microbrewery/sportsbar to excellent table manners at a black tie event.
He can be shy, but I expect him to be able to carry on a conversation. My favorite men genuinely like meeting new people and learning new things.
And, he MUST have a strong voice. Whiny, nasal, nervous talking/laughing are buzzkills. I don't abide by speaking ill of others or judgment of others.
|
|
|
|
Post by wewbwb on May 22, 2016 7:35:11 GMT -5
That's why i can't understand her attraction to this guy. It's like talking to vinnie barbarino.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 22, 2016 15:23:23 GMT -5
That's why i can't understand her attraction to this guy. It's like talking to vinnie barbarino. Does he look like John Travolta, too? Maybe she just set the bar low and never moved it? It could be worse. He could sound like Arnold Horshack. |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 22, 2016 16:15:39 GMT -5
Backstory: I have a friend IRL that is pretty, smart, funny and quick. We dated a bit in high school but remained friends after she broke up with me. She is now married and living in an other state. But we email and talk when we can (her husband is a jealous and dumb man) she asked if i could contact one of her other old boyfriends through fb to see how he is. I did. How is he? Stupid. A bag of rocks. Her husband is the same way. That's her "type". I can't be bothered with a woman who can't challenge me. An intelligent funny woman catches my eye. I don't care if she has a flipper. Its better if she doesn't though. Question: How important is intelligence to YOU? What qualities do you find attractive? Intelligence is non-negotiable for me. I made the mistake of dating a few men who just weren't very smart when I was younger. That was bad for me and for them. I need a man who is as smart as I am. Intelligence also leads to the kind of humor that I prefer, and humor is a huge aphrodisiac for me. Make me laugh, and you've definitely got my attention. If there's no humor, there will be no attraction. Basically, I want a partner in crime. ;-) Someone sexy, smart, funny....someone who isn't fixated on doing things the same way all the time. My inner child wants somebody to play with, and my outer adult woman wants a guy who can keep up with me, and keep me on my toes - without hurting me. |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 22, 2016 16:16:25 GMT -5
That's why i can't understand her attraction to this guy. It's like talking to vinnie barbarino. LOL, I remember him. |
|
|
|
Post by petrushka on May 22, 2016 18:27:21 GMT -5
I can't be bothered with a woman who can't challenge me. An intelligent funny woman catches my eye. I don't care if she has a flipper. Its better if she doesn't though. Question: How important is intelligence to YOU? What qualities do you find attractive? Intelligence is my #1 prerequisite. Someone who at least gets half my warped jokes. Who can see past PC, or fad of the month. Who can look at other people with a critical eye and not stop loving them and reaching out regardless of the cracks they see in the glaze. Someone who can beat me at abstract boardgames a significant number of times. (my wife's the only one I know, apart from my nephew and his boyfriend). Someone who looks at me with sheep eyes when I make a witty remark every time is a total turn-off. I also do not suffer fools gladly. And what, to me, is part of emotional intelligence is that they don't take themselves too seriously. What I also like is someone who has confidence. (this is where I got completely fooled by my wife. Outwardly, very confident, strong opinions, go-getter, doesn't give up -- but hiding underneath someone frightened and fragile whom I discovered way too late - someone who was stunted by emotional child abuse). Chemistry. The real, hydrocarbon kind of chemistry. I found out that I have this with some people, yet not at all with others. Some women I've been with, I might as well have injected my penis with novocaine. Others - very very exciting. And body shape or such like has nothing to do with that. I guess most people never test out with a large enough sample to notice that this really exists. Someone who is able to live in the here and now. Able to engage, interested in exchange, both of ideas and emotions and affections. Curious about the world and still growing. (I see a lot of complaints here about spouses who look 'through' you, who barely acknowledge your presence because they're on facebook or youtube or engrossed in the idiot box --- that --- people who just want to live vicariously). Someone who can respect me. (this is the opposite to the one who wants to 'rearrange' me) because they are genuine themselves. If someone starts to tell me they know better how I feel about something than I do, or accuse me of lying when I am going deep and giving them feelings from the bottom of my heart, they won't be staying around for long. And in all that are attributes like 'caring','loving','affectionate'. |
|
|
|
Post by DryCreek on May 22, 2016 20:42:31 GMT -5
Piling on a bunch of great replies here...
Intelligence is essential. We don't have to be smart in the same ways (better if we aren't). Emotional intelligence, street smarts, and generally savvy fit in there somehow.
Quick wit - it's tied to smarts, but different. Good repertoire of pop/nerd culture over the last several decades. Actually "gets" subtle references. Equal ability to dish it out and take it in stride. ;-) If a joke goes unnoticed, it's only because the joke was lame.
The list could go for a while. Limiting my reply for brevity. ;-)
DC
|
|
|
|
Post by bballgirl on May 24, 2016 9:54:14 GMT -5
Intelligence is so important to me. A man's words can be such a turn on to me. Deep philosophical conversations mean a lot to me. A sense of humor - make me laugh and that adds so much to the relationship. A sense of adventure is important to me and to be willing to do different activities and be open to new experiences.
They also have to go to the dr and dentist regularly and demonstrate good self care habits.
Interest in sports too but not obsessive like my ex.
Just to name a few!
|
|
|
|
Post by wewbwb on May 24, 2016 9:59:34 GMT -5
No he isn't good looking at least to me.  BICBW I told her I'm sorry - I cannot help her as he's too stump like. But I did find out an interesting thing - the reason her and I broke up is because she thought I was too smart - I'm beginning to understand that she (and now that I think about, my sister) Like to be smarter then their men. Well okay then... |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 24, 2016 11:07:55 GMT -5
Different strokes, for different folks, wewbwb. Not everyone is into "smart," clearly. But, I'm glad you are! |
|
|
|
Post by wewbwb on May 24, 2016 14:38:26 GMT -5
I am. totally. I can't help to imagine what their conversations are like though.
"That's a tree."
"Yes, honey that's a tree. Now pick up something heavy."
"Yes, dear. Now what?"
"Put it down."
"Yes dear."
Kill me please.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 24, 2016 15:42:56 GMT -5
You're trying to understand something that is not understandable, wewbwb. Stop it before you pull a groin muscle and paramedics have to be called and you have to explain how you ended up in that situation. |
|
|
|
Post by wewbwb on May 24, 2016 15:47:19 GMT -5
You're trying to understand something that is not understandable, wewbwb . Stop it before you pull a groin muscle and paramedics have to be called and you have to explain how you ended up in that situation. Wouldn't be the first time....  |
|
|
|
Post by petrushka on May 24, 2016 16:45:09 GMT -5
You're trying to understand something that is not understandable, wewbwb . Stop it before you pull a groin muscle and paramedics have to be called and you have to explain how you ended up in that situation. Sounds a bit like my first long term gf, who fell out of love with me because "our relationship is just too good, we understand each other so well that we know what the other person is going to say to just about anything". To me, that was desirable ... having someone who really understands me, and whom I can understand really well. Ho hum. B.t.w. do you seriously think wewbwb does ALL his thinking with his dick? (I mean 'pulling a groin muscle trying to understand ....' ) ?!?  |
|
BICBW
