Post by Rhapsodee on Sept 21, 2018 14:40:40 GMT -5
Hey guys it’s been awhile!
I have a new situation......
After 15 years of emotional absence my husband has returned. He looks at me and talks to me. I wake up in the night with him holding my hand. He sends me kiss emojis. (As for sex, I’m not holding my breath.) He shares his thoughts and plans. He’s optimistic and there’s a bounce in his step.
This came about because the business manager and his wife, the comptroller have retired from my husband’s company.
Can the subtle influence of other people outside the marriage cause it to become sexless? I believe it can.
15 years ago my husband hired a woman to be the comptroller for his company. He then hired her husband to be the business manager which freed my husband to do what he does best, win projects. Gradually, these people drove away my husband’s best employees and compadres. They systematically isolated him to depend on them for friendship and business development. The company has been struggling ever since.
From the beginning, the new business manager disliked me. He would make comments to me that were confusing, such as insinuating that I was having an affair, which I was not, and other “sins” of which I have no idea. I am not a paranoid person, but I could swear I was being followed and tracked.
The BM became angry when I bought my own cell phone and had it delivered to my house. The company owns my cell phone and he had always “set it up” for me. That’s when I felt my instincts about being followed were a possibility. The trailing stopped with the new phone. I no longer felt that I was being watched.
A few years ago, I had finally released my anger and accepted my marriage as it was. I took sex off the agenda and made friends with my husband. Our home life has been tolerable. I’m in a good place right now. I have been pursuing my own interests and taking care of myself and my needs.
I have a feeling things are going to change for the better, but I doubt sex will be a part of it. Affection and attention will be more abundant, which is nice. I have no plans to stop any of the things I do for myself. I will take my solo vacation every year or so and I’ll keep dancing and hiking. I’ll keep my friendships and attachments as well.
My anger has resurfaced because of my husband’s vulnerability to manipulative people. I can’t direct my anger at him because it would be unproductive. I can safely direct it at those other people. It burns in my chest like hot coals for the 15 years of neglect.
After they left the company, I told him what the BM would say to me and he didn’t seem surprised. It was as if he was suddenly drawing the connection. He asked why I remained quiet about it. I had no answer, other than not wanting to make accusations that I couldn’t prove.
I’ll keep you posted on what happens and how things develop — or not.
I have a new situation......
After 15 years of emotional absence my husband has returned. He looks at me and talks to me. I wake up in the night with him holding my hand. He sends me kiss emojis. (As for sex, I’m not holding my breath.) He shares his thoughts and plans. He’s optimistic and there’s a bounce in his step.
This came about because the business manager and his wife, the comptroller have retired from my husband’s company.
Can the subtle influence of other people outside the marriage cause it to become sexless? I believe it can.
15 years ago my husband hired a woman to be the comptroller for his company. He then hired her husband to be the business manager which freed my husband to do what he does best, win projects. Gradually, these people drove away my husband’s best employees and compadres. They systematically isolated him to depend on them for friendship and business development. The company has been struggling ever since.
From the beginning, the new business manager disliked me. He would make comments to me that were confusing, such as insinuating that I was having an affair, which I was not, and other “sins” of which I have no idea. I am not a paranoid person, but I could swear I was being followed and tracked.
The BM became angry when I bought my own cell phone and had it delivered to my house. The company owns my cell phone and he had always “set it up” for me. That’s when I felt my instincts about being followed were a possibility. The trailing stopped with the new phone. I no longer felt that I was being watched.
A few years ago, I had finally released my anger and accepted my marriage as it was. I took sex off the agenda and made friends with my husband. Our home life has been tolerable. I’m in a good place right now. I have been pursuing my own interests and taking care of myself and my needs.
I have a feeling things are going to change for the better, but I doubt sex will be a part of it. Affection and attention will be more abundant, which is nice. I have no plans to stop any of the things I do for myself. I will take my solo vacation every year or so and I’ll keep dancing and hiking. I’ll keep my friendships and attachments as well.
My anger has resurfaced because of my husband’s vulnerability to manipulative people. I can’t direct my anger at him because it would be unproductive. I can safely direct it at those other people. It burns in my chest like hot coals for the 15 years of neglect.
After they left the company, I told him what the BM would say to me and he didn’t seem surprised. It was as if he was suddenly drawing the connection. He asked why I remained quiet about it. I had no answer, other than not wanting to make accusations that I couldn’t prove.
I’ll keep you posted on what happens and how things develop — or not.