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Post by workingonit on Jun 8, 2018 19:05:56 GMT -5
Have you found other on line support groups helpful? Or other sites you find growthful for spending time?
I am assembling all of my resources including friends, therapy, ILIASM. I am looking to add to it. It does not have to be about SM per se, just a supportive place to grow.
TY!
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2018 22:14:56 GMT -5
workingonitSimilar Worlds' ILIASM group is essentially dead. I've tried to get things going, but it doesn't have enough people. Reddit's DeadBedrooms has lots of posts but no real sense of community, and features that might be familiar to Redditers but that I found offputting. There was another forum or two that didn't catch my fancy.
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Post by northstarmom on Jun 10, 2018 7:01:35 GMT -5
You can read the archived I live in a sexless marriage group on Experience Project.
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Post by baza on Jun 10, 2018 19:51:47 GMT -5
Just out of interest, this very group of ours seems to be running out of steam too.
The membership is pretty much stagnant (1,140 at this moment, and it has taken since about April 2016 to crawl up to this present number) and the level of "new" threads is very low in the "SM issues" folder (though the "Lighter Side", "Sexually Speaking" and "Off Topic" folders still seem to be gurgling along ok)
Presumably the site might be "hard to find" - or
If found the site might be "hard to negotiate around in" - or
The content people can find is not being found particularly helpful.
Anyway, it does appear that the trajectory of the group is - at best - static, and at worst, in decline.
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Post by choosinghappy on Jun 10, 2018 21:15:17 GMT -5
Just out of interest, this very group of ours seems to be running out of steam too. The membership is pretty much stagnant (1,140 at this moment, and it has taken since about April 2016 to crawl up to this present number) and the level of "new" threads is very low in the "SM issues" folder (though the "Lighter Side", "Sexually Speaking" and "Off Topic" folders still seem to be gurgling along ok) Presumably the site might be "hard to find" - or If found the site might be "hard to negotiate around in" - or The content people can find is not being found particularly helpful. Anyway, it does appear that the trajectory of the group is - at best - static, and at worst, in decline. I’ve heard from multiple people that being active here has a tendency to make them feel depressed. This comment has always come from members who are not planning to leave (at the moment) and before I made my decision to leave I felt that way occasionally too. I think it’s just the name of the game: If you’re trying to “make it work” in an unhappy marriage and feel stuck for whatever reason, commiserating will help at times and at other times, make it more difficult. If you don’t have a plan to get out of a shitty situation, constantly being reminded about your shitty situation doesn’t help in day-to-day life. |
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Post by solodriver on Jun 11, 2018 0:40:35 GMT -5
This group is still the best as far as the amount of information pertaining to our SMs. I sure hope we don't lose this like what happened to EP. I have a lot of people I admire on here and I hope not to lose.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 11, 2018 12:15:23 GMT -5
Just out of interest, this very group of ours seems to be running out of steam too. The membership is pretty much stagnant (1,140 at this moment, and it has taken since about April 2016 to crawl up to this present number) and the level of "new" threads is very low in the "SM issues" folder (though the "Lighter Side", "Sexually Speaking" and "Off Topic" folders still seem to be gurgling along ok) Presumably the site might be "hard to find" - or If found the site might be "hard to negotiate around in" - or The content people can find is not being found particularly helpful. Anyway, it does appear that the trajectory of the group is - at best - static, and at worst, in decline. I know I've been trying to come up with new topics or discussions here, with mixed success. I would argue that we need some new members. When surfergirl and elynne came it definitely injected some fresh interest from the veterans who want to help. It might be time to advertise....if nothing else, to mention the board on the other sites like Reddit and see who can be attracted. Also I think the "staying" section we've discussed might help. |
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Post by bballgirl on Jun 11, 2018 12:27:18 GMT -5
Just out of interest, this very group of ours seems to be running out of steam too. The membership is pretty much stagnant (1,140 at this moment, and it has taken since about April 2016 to crawl up to this present number) and the level of "new" threads is very low in the "SM issues" folder (though the "Lighter Side", "Sexually Speaking" and "Off Topic" folders still seem to be gurgling along ok) Presumably the site might be "hard to find" - or If found the site might be "hard to negotiate around in" - or The content people can find is not being found particularly helpful. Anyway, it does appear that the trajectory of the group is - at best - static, and at worst, in decline. I know I've been trying to come up with new topics or discussions here, with mixed success. I would argue that we need some new members. When surfergirl and elynne came it definitely injected some fresh interest from the veterans who want to help. It might be time to advertise....if nothing else, to mention the board on the other sites like Reddit and see who can be attracted. Also I think the "staying" section we've discussed might help. I agree with the "staying" section I have messaged one of the mods ModCasper to try and get this going. In time I think it will be created. |
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Post by northstarmom on Jun 11, 2018 12:50:29 GMT -5
I agree about starting a “staying” section. I’ve also posted favorably about this before including in the suggestions section. I wonder why it hadn’t been created.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 11, 2018 15:45:17 GMT -5
This isn't online, but I did go to a Divorce Recovery group in my area, and was pleased/surprised at how many people there where in a toxic situation and where thinking about divorce. I received helpful advice through good books that where recommended and our guest speakers as well as the facilitators who all had their own stories. One thing I do remember discovering - you think you've got it bad? Wait until you hear other peoples stories!
Just an opinion from someone who has been on here since day one (almost daily) and had spent time on EP. This is my 3rd, maybe 4 th summer on here? Things tend to slow down in summer. My only guess is that people aren't indoors at 5:30pm .like in the fall and winter,when it's dark and cold and only want their computer.
That might be a small factor in the decline.
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Post by hopingforachange on Jun 11, 2018 16:56:33 GMT -5
Yep, when it's warm and sunny out, I want to do things away from the house.
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Post by workingonit on Jun 11, 2018 17:55:19 GMT -5
I hope so, greatcoastal . I am finding myself really in a moment of needing- or maybe just really enjoying- having support from folks who get it. I checked out DB on Reddit. There are some interesting stories but it really does not have anything like the kind of community and support we have going here. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 11, 2018 20:33:15 GMT -5
I hope so, greatcoastal . I am finding myself really in a moment of needing- or maybe just really enjoying- having support from folks who get it. I checked out DB on Reddit. There are some interesting stories but it really does not have anything like the kind of community and support we have going here. One plus that I received from going to a group, was talking face to face or talking to a small group. lets face it If your in a SM, one of your options is leaving that SM. Then what are you going to need to do? One thing is learning again how to express yourself. Personally I do a heck of a lot better sitting here alone in the comfort of my house than I do in a group or one on one. Just having people actually listen to me and then say" I feel the same way as GreatCoastal, that's exactly right, that's funny I like that, you're so easy to talk too, thank you for caring about me, you're great" is a priceless boost to press forward in meeting other people and communicating what your needs are while recognizing theirs. Need some support right now? Having trouble expressing it? Bring it up! If it's an old topic that's okay, can't quite understand what it is, someone else might and you'll benefit from it. Start receiving more, it helps you grow. Somewhere ,someone else will read it and benefit from it, so you are giving at the same time. |
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Post by GeekGoddess on Jun 11, 2018 22:28:13 GMT -5
I’m a fan of in person support groups: codependent anonymous or emotion anonymous may have some appeal? A book club or class at the metaphysics school - a dream interpretation workshop at a local career center? Art classes, to get my spirit flowing.
For online, I pick inspirational groups on FB, so my feed has lots of Brene Brown, Paulo Coelho, Tanya Markul, Mary Engelbreit. (& lots of recovery themed ones too)
Get on your library’s mailing list. My local library hosts all kinds of interesting and/or local-politics type of meetings.
Find out what you enjoy and do that. It is great practice for once you get out & have a lot more time to fill.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2018 3:50:23 GMT -5
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