I would only be guessing for my "wife" (she would never take such a test) but here goes:
Words of affirmation Touch Quality time Acts of service Gifts
Acts of service (mostly this-it's exhausting) Quality time (somewhat this) Words of affirmation (minimal) Gifts (minimal) Touch (non-existant)
It's been a rough couple of weeks. Acts of service vs. Words/touch has felt like a bad bargain for years and I've gotten resentful lately. I don't like myself when I'm that way but it all feels like such useless b.s. She's not happy, I'm not happy. No wonder after you review this list, neither of us are getting much of what we need although I AM working my ass off damn near all the time. Why does she get to add to my to-do list? Maybe if I wrote, "hold hands", "say something nice", "fuck" on her to-do list it would work.
I'm words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and gifts.
Interesting bballgirl. With touch ranking third for you I wonder if that’s how you’re ok outsourcing sex outside of your primary relationship. Hmm
During my marriage when I took the test physical touch was second and quality time third however I was starved for sex and attention.
Now I feel mentally and emotionally healthier. I'm not sex starved my libido isn't as crazy as it was. I retook the test while I was single and it surprised me that my love language shifted a little.
As far as why I'm ok with outsourcing sex, a lot of that has to do with the compatibility and chemistry I have with my friend/ lover. It's just easy and simple and we are very open and comfortable around each other with zero inhibitions. Some of that has to do with me too. I was in a sm for 23 years my H was my first boyfriend and the only man I was ever sexual with. At the end of my marriage I felt angry, resentful, and I felt like he robbed me of some of my best sexual years. So by getting the divorce I was free to explore my sexuality and check things off of bucket lists, heck I just christened my new car last week and it's over a year old, so I felt less anger and I healed after the divorce and I figured out what I really wanted for myself. With my ex H - he's my best friend and I know at the end of the day we're family and he's got my back. For ME this works and not for nothing but supporting one household instead of two makes it possible for me to save money for the future and not live paycheck to paycheck as a single mom on a teacher's salary.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
worksforme2: Since our esteemed governor has declared a state of emergency here in NC (a total of 12 cases so far) the hording of toilet paper has begun. Is diarrhea a part of covid 19? I see Lowes and Home Depot have quick install toilet retro fit bidets.
Mar 13, 2020 10:34:57 GMT -5
petrushka: I've no idea what it is with the toilet paper hoarding. I walked out of a supermarket yesterday and saw a woman with the jumbo sized trolley and some 4x 18 roll packs of toilet paper. Nuts. Completely nuts. Incidentally, a bidet is definitely the way to go
Mar 14, 2020 6:18:43 GMT -5
petrushka: Even her little 5 or 6 year old was questioning her purchase!
Mar 14, 2020 6:25:44 GMT -5
petrushka: One of my favourite quotes for the last 30 years: "don't ever look a sheep in the eyes, the intellectual vacuum may suck your brains out". Well, let's all drink to the sheeple! (besides, alcohol is a good disinfectant).
Mar 14, 2020 6:31:26 GMT -5
frednsa: so...............i'd like to tell her when she "attempts to placate me": have you ever been invited to a party where you knew for certain that you WEREN'T wanted ?
Mar 19, 2020 15:57:05 GMT -5
worksforme2: Former Miss Hawaii tests positive. Being the gallant lad that I am I have offered her the use of my guest bedroom to "shelter in place"..
Mar 23, 2020 20:34:21 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hey tamara68, there is a covid19 positive cat in Belgium, watch out for it.
Mar 30, 2020 14:05:56 GMT -5
tamara68: @worksforme I think I have to be more careful for all infected people. Most likely I already have Covid19
Apr 1, 2020 3:29:42 GMT -5
worksforme2: tamara68.....it's been a couple weeks since you posted you may have the covid19 virus. hopefully you are feeling better and are on your way to renewed health
Apr 11, 2020 5:31:38 GMT -5
tamara68: @worksforme thanks, yes I am feeling better. How is it in the USA?
Apr 14, 2020 1:57:26 GMT -5
worksforme2: some better and some worse,..virus seems to be slowing down, but people are beginning to refuse to stay inside,...worst thing I see is Biden leading in the election poles,...but that could be fake news
Apr 20, 2020 16:56:22 GMT -5
mirrororchid: Politics? Is that what we want to happen here?
Apr 21, 2020 6:21:24 GMT -5
petrushka: Certainly not American style politics. Toxic echo chambers.
Apr 23, 2020 16:21:52 GMT -5
petrushka: However, I feel that sexual politics, including political moves that impact the relationships between gender (misogynist, misandrist, etc) definitely deserve room in this context.
Apr 23, 2020 16:22:59 GMT -5
fred: just calculated that i've spent somewhere near 19,000 days (& nights) as a "rejectee".AND that allows for 2,000+ days (& nights) on business travel apart from her. i've chosen to "stay" .....would never do that again, and can't as you see doing the math
May 15, 2020 18:01:15 GMT -5
worksforme2: 19000 days and nights,....damn dude, that's 52 yrs.
Jun 17, 2020 9:19:10 GMT -5
fred: you're a little short works - was thinking this AM, there has NEVER been a day when she indicated desire for me physically (other than for heavy lifting or finance)........LOL...........earlier, i had enough libido for both of us, now i'm left with guilt
Jun 20, 2020 13:11:12 GMT -5
fred: over imposing myself on her rather than simply leaving .....DAMN LOVE ANYWAY !
Jun 20, 2020 13:12:12 GMT -5
mesulina: update everyone, still has not happened. I have now come to accept that I will live with out. It is just different now.
Jun 29, 2020 19:32:31 GMT -5
worksforme2: Sorry mesulina,... but on the positive side you did stock up on toys a short time back,..now might be the time to go for the gusto
Jun 30, 2020 17:42:54 GMT -5