I would only be guessing for my "wife" (she would never take such a test) but here goes:
Words of affirmation Touch Quality time Acts of service Gifts
Acts of service (mostly this-it's exhausting) Quality time (somewhat this) Words of affirmation (minimal) Gifts (minimal) Touch (non-existant)
It's been a rough couple of weeks. Acts of service vs. Words/touch has felt like a bad bargain for years and I've gotten resentful lately. I don't like myself when I'm that way but it all feels like such useless b.s. She's not happy, I'm not happy. No wonder after you review this list, neither of us are getting much of what we need although I AM working my ass off damn near all the time. Why does she get to add to my to-do list? Maybe if I wrote, "hold hands", "say something nice", "fuck" on her to-do list it would work.
I'm words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and gifts.
Interesting bballgirl. With touch ranking third for you I wonder if that’s how you’re ok outsourcing sex outside of your primary relationship. Hmm
During my marriage when I took the test physical touch was second and quality time third however I was starved for sex and attention.
Now I feel mentally and emotionally healthier. I'm not sex starved my libido isn't as crazy as it was. I retook the test while I was single and it surprised me that my love language shifted a little.
As far as why I'm ok with outsourcing sex, a lot of that has to do with the compatibility and chemistry I have with my friend/ lover. It's just easy and simple and we are very open and comfortable around each other with zero inhibitions. Some of that has to do with me too. I was in a sm for 23 years my H was my first boyfriend and the only man I was ever sexual with. At the end of my marriage I felt angry, resentful, and I felt like he robbed me of some of my best sexual years. So by getting the divorce I was free to explore my sexuality and check things off of bucket lists, heck I just christened my new car last week and it's over a year old, so I felt less anger and I healed after the divorce and I figured out what I really wanted for myself. With my ex H - he's my best friend and I know at the end of the day we're family and he's got my back. For ME this works and not for nothing but supporting one household instead of two makes it possible for me to save money for the future and not live paycheck to paycheck as a single mom on a teacher's salary.
mirrororchid: Thanks, Isthisit. Celebrating the day we broke from the UK and chose to govern ourselves! Looking like a less good idea the last 50 years, but a little late. The Brits might say, "No backsies."
Jul 7, 2021 18:03:59 GMT -5
Handy: Petrushka, How is your knee replacement recovery going?
Jul 15, 2021 0:22:34 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hope you are OK Tamara 68.....
Jul 16, 2021 11:11:59 GMT -5
petrushka: Handy it is going. Still painful. First session with the physio yesterday and he was enthusiastic about my range of movement, and says many people never even get that far after the full 6 weeks physio. OK, I'll take it ;-) but it still hurts. A lot.
Jul 16, 2021 15:58:37 GMT -5
petrushka: I was concerned about some things, like how far I can [not] lift my leg, straightened, but he allayed my worries on that account. Seems I'm not at all behind the curve.
Jul 16, 2021 16:02:27 GMT -5
Handy: Petrushka, I am happy to hear your range of motion is still decent. My W had knee surgery so I was aware of at least most of her rehabilitation difficulties. Yes, it still hurts big time for you but seeing my W's recovery, it takes time and exercising.
Jul 16, 2021 17:05:15 GMT -5
njsojourner: I hope everyone is well! Thought I would share that I am still having a blast outsourcing. I now have a regular fuck buddy and she is great. Same situation as me but a few years younger. In fact, her sex drive is crazier than mine and stranger.
Jul 16, 2021 21:50:15 GMT -5
njsojourner: Hi all. I thought I’d just share I am still having a blast — I now have a regular fuck buddy. She is younger by 6 years and full of energy and into fetishes-she likes to “force” me to have sex in public places —I love it.
Jul 16, 2021 21:54:49 GMT -5
tamara68: worksforme2: I am ok, thank you. The floods in Belgium are about 50 or 60 miles from where I live. The worst floods in decades.
Jul 17, 2021 8:54:44 GMT -5
Handy: I looked up several pages about the European floods and I saw pictures of what were possibly small streams before the floods but with all of the rain, became fast moving rivers that overflow the river banks and took everything for a wild ride.
Jul 19, 2021 15:13:23 GMT -5
petrushka: Oh man, if a river excavates 20-30 feet DOWN you have a bit of a weather event on your hands all right!
Jul 19, 2021 21:39:01 GMT -5