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Post by flounder on Apr 4, 2018 5:24:20 GMT -5
I do want to thank everyone for the birthday well wishes.
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Post by rejected101 on Apr 4, 2018 7:38:11 GMT -5
Alright gang it’s time to play everyone’s favorite game! (Crowd shouts loudly) LETS MAKE AN EXCUSE ! That’s right gang,it’s time for Let’s make an excuse;the only game for refusers. Tell them how to play Johnny. Alright,Bob here are the rules; You are asked one question and you,our lovely internet audience,have to answer correctly to win. Here is the question: Today is my 41st birthday. What excuse will my wife give to get out of being intimate with her husband ? I’m tired You’ve already had your birthday present. I’m not your sex toy. My back aches We might disturb the neighbors/kids I’m not clean enough You’re not clean enough I’ve just had a nice bath and I’m lovely and clean I just don’t want to have sex It’s too early to go upstairs Now it’s a bit late I’m still full from dinner I don’t feel sexy enough But we had sex this month already didn’t we It’s too cold to get naked It’s far too hot It will wake me up and I’ll have difficulty sleeping I’ve recently changed the bed sheets The list is endless really But my favourite is.... Sweetheart, you are 41 not 21. Please act your age.
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Post by shamwow on Apr 4, 2018 8:48:21 GMT -5
When people get our age they don't have sex anymore, honey...
This one covers birthday 41 through dirt nap time. I should get bonus points.
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 4, 2018 9:03:17 GMT -5
My other guess is that she will take uou out to dinner. Of course that means bringing the kids along. She will use them as a weapon . she will keep them out later than normal thrn tell you" we better get the kids home". The kids will be wired and jumping all over your bed. If that major distraction ever gets out of the way, she will hide in the computer. During all this, you will manage to hint at what you REALLY want for your birthday. Something only she can give you. You will get told " maybe, or possibly". It will be midnight and she will be fast asleep, while you ate left staring at the ceiling, again. Happy birthday friend!. You don’t happen to know the winning lottery numbers too,do ya ? No! LOL 😊 I just read your past posts and quoted them. Sadly this is another example of a need for boundaries with consequences. Instead of allowing the same, predictable outome to continue, day after day, year after year. The other dowside is the more control you allow over your needs ( boundaries) the less and less respect she will have for you. No intimacy = no communication No communication = no trust. No trust = no boundaries and no consequences. ( leading to a divorce or a crusty seperated final years of turmoil) It's very difficult to see this when your in the middle of it. Instead your mind and emotions are clouded with thoughts of " why?" And "If only I could help her, I can change this, if only I do more, etc..." Time to get off that hamster wheel and enforce consequences to boundaries.(is she still using the medication excuse? Have you called her out on it?) Like all risky, difficult, heart renching life choices, it's back to you and being true to yourself.
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Deleted
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Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Apr 4, 2018 14:53:43 GMT -5
Times up ! And the winner is..... Tooyoungtobeold! Tell him what he’s won Johnny ! Just like flounder your getting....: Not a damn thing ! That’s right Bob,not a damn thing is loaded with all sorts of rejection and feelings of being unwanted. The best part is the depression,loneliness,and the feeling that all that money your spending on marriage counseling is a waste of time ! Back to you Bob. Thanks Johnny. And a big thank you to all the lovely contestants for playing. We’ll see you next time on.... ( crowd loudly shouts) LETS MAKE AN EXCUSE ! Oh, my God!!! I am so excited, nay-honored, to have lived in a SM so long that I called this one correctly..........
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Post by rejected101 on Apr 5, 2018 9:16:34 GMT -5
Interestingly enough, what does it say about someone who has an expectation or significant hope that their birthday will automatically mean they will get to have sex? I’m guilty of this previously myself. It’s my birthday, hopefully she will fuck me tonight. Why does it require a birthday to raise your chances of having sex with your partner? Do your chances of being told “I love you” increase on your birthday? That certainly shouldn’t be the case as this should be a regular and healthy part of any marriage. In my opinion a daily event. This idea that birthdays equal a higher chance of being intimate with your partner just shows how low someone has been made to feel. Sex isn’t a present, it’s an act of love, significance, fun as a couple, trust and it massively contributes to defining the uniqueness of your bond. Birthday presents are new earrings, a new watch, a new laptop and so on. Sex shouldn’t feature on the list ever.
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Post by Apocrypha on Apr 5, 2018 9:37:46 GMT -5
What excuse will you give yourself to remain in a relationship so embroiled in contempt that it has overridden your wife's sense of desire for you?
Here are some that I gave myself for several years. The ones that don't read as excuses are all "If I do or learn to do X, then she will want me":
1. a) I am being a good father / husband to a pregnant/post pregnant woman, who can't help what pregnancy has done to her libido. 1. b) I am being a good husband to a woman who is pre, during, or post menstrual, and feeling hormonaly turned off. 2. I am too fat. If I get myself in better shape, she will desire me. 3. I'm not happy with my hair. I will go to a real salon and ask them what I should do, then she will want me. 4. I don't smell bad, but I could smell great - maybe I can get cologne that is scientifically proven to be the most arousing. 5. She isn't getting enough sleep. If I take the kid/ preemie shift until 4 am, and then go to work at 7:30, for a year, every day, then she will have enough sleep. 6. She's feeling too harried. If she drops to one day a week of part time work, plus daycare, this will help. 7. She's not getting enough alone time, she says. If I take the kids to family events and leave her behind, we can carve out the alone time she needs to feel actualized. 8. We aren't communicating about sex. If I talk about it more with her, we will normalize that process and get to the root of what lights her fire. 9. My talking about sex with her is being read as pressure. If I don't raise the issue of sex with her, for, say 6 months, then she will have the space to go at her own pace and initiate. 10. Maybe she is into something she reads as shameful or humiliating to ask for. I will research various kinks including bdsm and raise them in conversation, and let her know I am totally ok with them, and demonstrate empathy for people with unusual sexual needs. 11. She loves it when I demonstrate myself as an engaged father. Maybe I will emphasize this. 12. She reacts poorly when I demonstrate reluctance to do unusual things with her. I will make a rule that I must say yes to any activity she proposes, no matter what - for 9 months. 13. I'm not interesting enough. I will seek my own interests and prioritize them. 14. We aren't hanging out as friends enough. She misses that - I will prioritize a date night. It will be scheduled. Every week to two weeks. 15. I could dress better. I will upgrade my wardrobe. I'll consult fashion basics experts first and make better choices. I will include casual wear around the house in my upgrades. 16. If I forgive her for her affair, she will finally realize how much I love her, and want me then. 17. Family therapy takes a lot of time and effort. I just need to keep at it. 18. If I afford her patience in getting over the affair, she will respect me again and I won't be the bad guy who ruined it for her - and she will naturally want me. 19. She has lost track of her own sexual desires. She says she needs to explore this with other people or in different sexual circumstances to find her libido again. If I agree to this - it will benefit me. If I separate, I'll end up meeting her new boyfriend eventually at some point, likely at my kids' birthday parties, so I will have to deal with some other guy boffing the woman I love anyway, and likely in a parental role when I'm not there. How is this worse? 20. No other man would have the emotional endurance or rockstar open-mindedness to be able to handle being married to such a free spirited woman. We're perfect for each other - she will soon see. 21. Who needs sex anyway? Next to family - wouldn't I take an oath of celibacy to save my family? 22. Separation is expensive. I live in one of the most expensive cities in North America. I could end up never seeing my kids. What wouldn't I endure for them? 23. I'm depressed. If I take anti-depressants, maybe they will also suppress my libido and this will be moot. 24. She doesn't "want to be in charge of my sexual satisfaction". I can take responsibility for this. I'll handle business myself. I will use her picture as inspiration, to ensure that I don't condition my attraction to others. I'll try to convince her to take some suggestive photos. 25. If she sees herself the way I see her in those photos, she will realize how much I am attracted to her, she will feel desirable and loved. 26. She isn't aware of the extent to which I'm handling business myself. Plus, maybe there is a way I can share intimacy and vulnerability with her in a way that doesn't make her responsible for it. Rather than leaving and treating it as a bodily function, maybe I can do it in her presence in bed, and if she feels stirred, she can make a choice to participate how she wishes. Then she'll see that her own need for independence can be met within the context of marriage. 27. If I stop trying, we will separate certainly because she doesn't appear to be trying at all, but rather, fighting me. So it's all on me.
Lots of excuses there. They all hinge on hope that is just around the corner if I just assume personal and sole responsibility for some additional aspect of our intimate relationship.
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kittymox
Junior Member
Just a dandelion
Posts: 32
Age Range: 41-45
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Post by kittymox on Apr 13, 2018 1:18:16 GMT -5
My all time favorite excuse ... "Weekends are for relaxing,not doing chores"
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Post by ironhamster on Apr 13, 2018 2:10:46 GMT -5
My all time favorite excuse ... "Weekends are for relaxing,not doing chores" Sex is a "chore"?! Oh, if only my wife had been so honest my first year of marriage. Heartbreakingly honest.
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kittymox
Junior Member
Just a dandelion
Posts: 32
Age Range: 41-45
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Post by kittymox on Apr 13, 2018 10:41:02 GMT -5
My all time favorite excuse ... "Weekends are for relaxing,not doing chores" Sex is a "chore"?! Oh, if only my wife had been so honest my first year of marriage. Heartbreakingly honest. It's not a chore, generally...just with me. Because, as he stated at a later date, "it's not that I don't want to have sex...I just don't want to have shitty sex." (I assure you sex with me is neither shitty nor a chore) To be fair, I'm not providing context because it's funnier (in a gallows humor sort of way) out of context. Both were, given context, reflections of his own insecurity. But this is the place where we laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, right? Ha ha! Sigh.
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Post by surfergirl on Apr 17, 2018 21:01:30 GMT -5
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Post by lifeinwoodinville on Apr 17, 2018 22:59:42 GMT -5
Happy Birthday! That she is full from dinner and feels bloated. I can't count the number of times that my wife has used that one, I think it's her favorite because it's so easy. Of course I have not tried for sex with her in years so I have not heard it in a while.
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Post by flounder on Apr 18, 2018 12:49:42 GMT -5
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2018 18:42:34 GMT -5
The "bloated" excuse is a lovely one that I've heard a lot.
Not that I am a political maven or fanatic but: "The results of this presidential election are so disturbing to me, I don't know when I will ever recover enough".
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Post by h on Apr 18, 2018 20:14:50 GMT -5
The "bloated" excuse is a lovely one that I've heard a lot. Not that I am a political maven or fanatic but: "The results of this presidential election are so disturbing to me, I don't know when I will ever recover enough". That's one I haven't heard before! "I'm too upset from the unfavorable outcome of an election to be intimate..." Using politics for avoidance has points for being unusual.
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