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Post by Dan on Feb 17, 2018 18:02:10 GMT -5
Originally a comment on a thread in a different board, I'm replying to one small thing by saarinista here, in the "Other Relationship Issues"... as this one is about "relationship to one's self": I think a key to happiness is self acceptance. I agree 100%. And I want to add: the key to changing yourself is self awareness. Paradoxical that the best place to from which to CHANGE yourself is to first ACCEPT the way you already are, and UNDERSTAND your current self rather well. |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2018 18:23:22 GMT -5
100% agree! This was a life truth I don't think I learned until I was 35 or 40 and in therapy. Amen, I finally learned it. I think.
And, I think that a lack of self-awareness in many of our refusers is a big part of their inability to change.
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Post by DryCreek on Feb 17, 2018 21:03:43 GMT -5
If there's one positive thing I can say about this journey, it's forced a metric crap-ton of introspection and at least a little better self-awareness.
Self-acceptance takes a bit more work.
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Post by choosinghappy on Feb 17, 2018 21:59:58 GMT -5
And, I think that a lack of self-awareness in many of our refusers is a big part of their inability to change. In the case of my H (and others’ refusers?) I honestly think it’s a FEAR of self-awareness that leads to resistance to change rather than true inability. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Feb 17, 2018 23:03:25 GMT -5
And, I think that a lack of self-awareness in many of our refusers is a big part of their inability to change. In the case of my H (and others’ refusers?) I honestly think it’s a FEAR of self-awareness that leads to resistance to change rather than true inability. Yup. Now where going near the "reasons for the fake mask" FEAR is a big one. Which is really sad for our refusers and for us. So many fears are like worries. They really need to be no more than "concerns". And yet so many glorious aspects of life go un-attained never enjoyed, and we fail to tap into our full potential. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Feb 17, 2018 23:05:35 GMT -5
If there's one positive thing I can say about this journey, it's forced a metric crap-ton of introspection and at least a little better self-awareness. Self-acceptance takes a bit more work. Amen! Some affirmation goes a long way. |
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Post by WindSister on Feb 19, 2018 8:41:18 GMT -5
Oh, I can't like this enough, yes, yes, yes!  When I had issues with my husband's exes, it wasn't until I finally accepted I had the issues, felt the jealousy. But then instead of get pissed off at myself or damn myself for feeling such human emotions, I extended compassion to myself. There was a REASON I felt the way I did. I saw it. I accepted it. I was really able to move past it from that point. What you RESIST PERSISTS. It's true. Yet all around the world we RESIST thinking that will solve issues... it never freaking does. Banning drugs is "resisting" them... didn't work. I could go on, won't. I just agree. |
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I think a key to happiness is self acceptance.I agree 100%.
