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Post by lwoetin on May 11, 2016 12:11:11 GMT -5
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Post by bballgirl on May 11, 2016 12:13:35 GMT -5
My ex lacked empathy but I still wanted to fuck him.
I had too much empathy and believed and felt bad for all of his excuses and manipulations.
Sorry just a knee jerk vent.
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Post by angryspartan on May 11, 2016 12:14:09 GMT -5
you know the menopause excuse reminds me of a joke: A woman came back from the dr and told her husband that he said she couldn't have sex anymore. The husband replied "what did your dentist say?"
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Post by LITW on May 11, 2016 13:11:08 GMT -5
My wife was physically, emotionally, mentally, and sexually abused by her ex husband, and the invisible wounds that caused run deep. After reading this article, I gained a new sense of empathy for her problem ... deeperstory.com/the-sexy-wife-i-cant-be/Its just so very sad that having empathy for her means denying my own sexual needs. Its a place none of us want to go. |
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Post by wewbwb on May 11, 2016 13:43:28 GMT -5
I have gotten the "lack empathy" discussion as well. I am sure that on some level she is right. However, where is HER empathy for me? I do my best to understand and fulfill her desires. I know that I fall short sometimes. I'm sorry. But, at a certain point I'm going to stop worrying her needs simply because mine NEVER met.
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Post by angryspartan on May 11, 2016 13:56:46 GMT -5
I have gotten the "lack empathy" discussion as well. I am sure that on some level she is right. However, where is HER empathy for me? I do my best to understand and fulfill her desires. I know that I fall short sometimes. I'm sorry. But, at a certain point I'm going to stop worrying her needs simply because mine NEVER met. That is the heart of the issue. Your need(sex) is not valid, where their need/s are. |
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Post by wewbwb on May 11, 2016 14:09:07 GMT -5
I have tried to explain it. How it is a "core" need.
I got the cold dead eyes.
So I find it hard to see how her needs have become more important then mine.
And to tie in- yes I think that you can empathize with your wife - and I know that there are physical changes that happen in menopause, some that will make sex painful. But you can still kiss. Hold each over. Be intimate with each other.
While it is not the same - it would at least show she desires a relationship with you lwoetin.
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Post by Deleted on May 11, 2016 14:52:12 GMT -5
I am sorry but I am going to have to call bullshit. How long has it been since she fucked you? And now she wants to put conditions? Sounds like she is manipulating you to me.
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Post by LITW on May 11, 2016 15:51:29 GMT -5
I am sorry but I am going to have to call bullshit. How long has it been since she fucked you? And now she wants to put conditions? Sounds like she is manipulating you to me. There are always conditions with refusers, even when they do put out, that's part of their game. |
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Post by lwoetin on May 11, 2016 16:10:25 GMT -5
I am sorry but I am going to have to call bullshit. How long has it been since she fucked you? And now she wants to put conditions? Sounds like she is manipulating you to me. Some time before Thanksgiving. She reminded me how I lacked empathy then when I made her cry because I told her she didn't need to cook the turkey if it's an excuse to be tired and not spend time together. Not that I didn't appreciate her cooking...turkey tasted great. |
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Post by Deleted on May 11, 2016 16:23:23 GMT -5
I am sorry but I am going to have to call bullshit. How long has it been since she fucked you? And now she wants to put conditions? Sounds like she is manipulating you to me. Some time before Thanksgiving. She reminded me how I lacked empathy then when I made her cry because I told her she didn't need to cook the turkey if it's an excuse to be tired and not spend time together. Not that I didn't appreciate her cooking...turkey tasted great. I am sorry to tell you, but this is nothing but manipulation. She has not fucked you in over 5 months and now she says YOU don't have empathy? Again, bullshit. |
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Post by lwoetin on May 11, 2016 17:18:25 GMT -5
My wife was physically, emotionally, mentally, and sexually abused by her ex husband, and the invisible wounds that caused run deep. After reading this article, I gained a new sense of empathy for her problem ... deeperstory.com/the-sexy-wife-i-cant-be/Its just so very sad that having empathy for her means denying my own sexual needs. Its a place none of us want to go. I'm sorry to hear about your wife's abuse by her ex. It's good you are reading and understanding what she is going through. That is empathy. For me what is most important is that both partners are making an effort to make the marriage work no matter how bad the situation is...knowing the needs of the other and trying to meet it. I try to gauge how far I can go if she doesn't meet my sexual needs. She told me a story of her best friend who had a traumatic experience as a homestay student from japan staying in an american home. She was invited by another student to do this homestay deal. So two 18yr old japanese girls stay with a family and the guy turns out was having sex with this one student and then he kept knocking on the door of my wife's best friend because he wanted both students. the guy had a pregnant wife in the next room and he told wife she can buy whatever she wants if she doesn't say anything. Really crazy shit. So my wife tells her best friend about our marriage situation and her friend thinks I am addicted to sex. Me?? So I half-joking asked if I can have sex with another person....what would she like to buy? She said, she will just say bye...I am not stupid. I am happy with that answer. I still love her. But she needs to have empathy too. And I am hopeful that she does. |
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