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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 7, 2017 10:51:36 GMT -5
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Post by ironhamster on Oct 7, 2017 15:33:45 GMT -5
^^^^^ 65%.
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Post by M2G on Oct 7, 2017 23:02:56 GMT -5
40%
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Post by h on Oct 8, 2017 6:11:42 GMT -5
6 out of 10 (but 7 out of 10 if we count refusal as "infidelity")
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 8, 2017 7:21:28 GMT -5
Even when one of these "signs" is a strong reality, it's 100% reason for a divorce.
Isn't interesting how many other reasons apply under the broad umbrella of living in a SM?
Sadly my case is 10 out of 10. Guess that gives me 1000% justification in my decision to divorce!
Once the marriage is declared over, the fake mask begins to slide more and more. Revealing more of the true self. (things get even uglier) Especially when the playing field is even, and the power and control gets stripped away.
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Post by ironhamster on Oct 8, 2017 7:37:37 GMT -5
Even when one of these "signs" is a strong reality, it's 100% reason for a divorce. Isn't interesting how many other reasons apply under the broad umbrella of living in a SM?... #2: Infidelity without remorse. Flip this around. Sexual refusal without remorse. I see no moral difference between me having sex outside marriage and her refusing sex inside marriage for many months at a time. Obviously, since she keeps doing it, she does not give a shit.
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 8, 2017 8:24:53 GMT -5
Even when one of these "signs" is a strong reality, it's 100% reason for a divorce. Isn't interesting how many other reasons apply under the broad umbrella of living in a SM?... #2: Infidelity without remorse. Flip this around. Sexual refusal without remorse. I see no moral difference between me having sex outside marriage and her refusing sex inside marriage for many months at a time. Obviously, since she keeps doing it, she does not give a shit. Yup!! Either way it has to do with Trust, doesn't it? Once that "trust " is broken in one area it ripples into so many other aspects of the relationship.
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Post by darktippedrose on Oct 9, 2017 0:53:37 GMT -5
I got 9 out 10 mostly because we've never been to counseling. I wouldn't trust him in counseling. He boasts to me that he can manipulate any female professional to his way of thinking.
So, no, I wouldn't trust him at all.
And as for drug addiction, my husband has been coming home from years smelling of a woman's private part (His face and yet he was disgusted by me) alcohol and drugs.
But most people will say that you can't be addicted to weed. grrrrrrrr.
But I beg to differ. HE doesn't smoke weed to just relax. He goes to a woman's house and gets drugs from her. And knows her family. Knows her from work I believe. I saw her name on his phone.
I found out and didn't want to know but they don't know that I know.
And he does it regularly so I"m going to say, it is HIS addiction.
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Post by hopingforachange on Oct 9, 2017 7:49:29 GMT -5
I got 9 out 10 mostly because we've never been to counseling. I wouldn't trust him in counseling. He boasts to me that he can manipulate any female professional to his way of thinking. So, no, I wouldn't trust him at all. And as for drug addiction, my husband has been coming home from years smelling of a woman's private part (His face and yet he was disgusted by me) alcohol and drugs. But most people will say that you can't be addicted to weed. grrrrrrrr. But I beg to differ. HE doesn't smoke weed to just relax. He goes to a woman's house and gets drugs from her. And knows her family. Knows her from work I believe. I saw her name on his phone. I found out and didn't want to know but they don't know that I know. And he does it regularly so I"m going to say, it is HIS addiction. The counselor should be about to identify his behavior and call him out of his bull shit. Honestly, you need to figure out when he visits that woman and catch then in the act. And figure out what you can do to get him to leave but keep his pay check.
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Post by ironhamster on Oct 9, 2017 9:14:15 GMT -5
...or just leave. A drug conviction would get him out of the house. It would land you on public assistance, but, at least you would be safe.
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Post by iceman on Oct 9, 2017 9:28:53 GMT -5
8 of 10. Not good ...
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Post by darktippedrose on Oct 9, 2017 16:06:04 GMT -5
ummm, not really because weed is now legal in AK
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Post by frednsa on Sept 19, 2019 7:25:11 GMT -5
fear of loneliness may be my own personal incentive to endure even more abuse (abuse by indifference). i read that hate is not the opposite of love, "indifference" is. sounds right. fear of loneliness may come under the old saying "in my life i have had many troubles - most of which never came to pass". hope comes with much difficulty when your self confidence has been eroded by years of being unwanted. my W is kind, considerate,giving (but not of sex) accounting for my long stay. i believe our few friends view me as the 'inferior' spouse, but remember, NO ONE knows the truth ! it's like being blamed for bruises sustained in a half-century of beatings................
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Post by angeleyes65 on Sept 25, 2019 8:59:03 GMT -5
10 out of 10 not sure if I should feel justified for leaving or stupid for staying so long lol
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Post by greatcoastal on Sept 25, 2019 9:08:34 GMT -5
10 out of 10 not sure if I should feel justified for leaving or stupid for staying so long lol Hopefully 90% JUSTIFIED. and, maybe 10% regret for staying so long. Leaving is HARD! For some it IS impossible. Sadly there has been many a testimony given on here about wonderful people who only have a shell of their outer existence left, as they ,move forward and rebuild themselves. Take that 10% as a valuable lesson. We all screw up, it's what you do with this " new information" ( hindsight is 20/20) that helps define who you are and who you are going to be.
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