My wife prefers masturbation to sex with me. Article

"Plenty of people choose a sexless marriage, which is usually fine if that’s what both partners desire. But others put up with a situation such as yours because, deep down, they do not believe they can ever have a fair and equitable relationship. "


Um no - that isn't the only reason.
Judgmental tool.

This guy sounds like a total pushover who would let his wife get away with anything.

I pretty much agree with Pamela Stephenson.

He's refused and abused -- many of us here are.

He wants couples counseling - wife won't have a piece of it. Have we heard this before? I expect, at this point, his desire is probably in the nature of 'forensic counseling' - in other words, he's chasing the 'why'. Or maybe he just wants to be heard, and hopes a counselor present can make wife listen...
And he [probably] hopes that, with some help, he can change her (fat chance) -- but that applies to all of us who tried the scented candles and lingery routes.

Stephenson says his wife is sending him signals that he's refusing to see. Damn right. The wife makes it quite clear that she doesn't love him and doesn't want to be with him. He is hoping that things might be fixed.

And Stephenson says: if there are good bits that outweigh the bad bits, then it _might_ be a valid choice to stay (that is MY situation b.t.w.) or if there is no conflict (both sides are non-sexual) it would probably be ok (can't argue with that), BUT ... I can see a big BUT in the way she says that. She thinks that he is putting up with something like this because
if he had more assertiveness, more sense of self worth, he would not, should not.  Right? Right?

Stephenson does what any good therapist will do: she asks him questions for himself to answer to himself. That is the most effective way of clearing the cobwebs
from the counselee's head. You can't just TELL them what's what, the way you (counselor) see it. They'll get defensive, they stick their head in the sand, whatever. You don't tell them, you ask them questions so they [have to] work it out for themselves. Only valid choice for a good counselor/therapist.

Lastly she affirms his right and desire to get this sorted.

I really can't see how she could have done better, or more, in the framework of a newspaper column. In fact, I applaud her on a job very well done.
I also would not make the mistake of throwing stones at the guy who wrote in. Many of us have been, or still are, in situations as bad, if not worse,
than that where he is at. We haven't heard anything about the rest of their relationship.
He's forgiven, but not forgotten, her "infidelity". Consider, angryspartan, that maybe fidelity is not at the top of the list of his priorities.
There are way, way too many possibilities in play for us to go and speculate about it without one hell of a lot more information.