|
|
Post by WindSister on Jul 3, 2017 15:47:42 GMT -5
Is your spouse forgiving? Are you? Does your spouse put you before money and/or things? This weekend I had another phone mishap. We had been driving 3 hours and I had to pee bad. We drive in to the state Park, park in a long line of campers and vehicles, wait our turn, check in. I ask where the restroom is, oh it's not in the office, I had to drive a mile down the road to the trail center. Ugh!!!!! We get our bundles of wood and hastily take off, drive 20 miles an hour on a curvy road and finally get there. I rush into the building, get into a stall, start to pull my jeans down and heard that awful sound of my iPhone hitting the water, falling in the toilet. It was in my back pocket, something I never do, but did on the way to the check in for some dumb reason!! Ugh. I suddenly didn't have to go anymore. I was worried how my husband would take it. I retrieved it (gross, I know!!!), dried it, washed my hands and tried drying it some more. I was hopeful that maybe it would not be ruined even though it wasn't a new "water resistant" phone. But the screen flickered and went out on its own. I was dreading telling my husband. More money, etc. I'm so clumsy. Well, he didn't even bat an eye. He hugged me and said, "oh no!!! I bet you feel sick about this." Then he felt we should turn around, head to the the nearest town and get me set up with a new phone right away because I'm always on call as a supervisor. So we did. $200 later, I'm up and running again. He never made me feel bad. I apologized, but he said it was an accident. I did this same thing one year ago. He laughed, saying we jinxed it by recognizing that as we drove up (we were talking and laughing about it as we drove). I should note that neither of us are rich and our money is our money. No his or hers. We have financial goals and work very closely together when it comes to money. Anyway, he puts me before money and things. My ex was Not like that. Sure, maybe it's just that I haven't worn him down yet, but he's like that with everyone. I don't know how some people never do stupid things like that, but that kind of stuff happens to me a lot. I try to be thoughtful and careful but when life is moving fast, sometimes I get clumsy, forgetful, etc. I guess I should be thankful I have a forgiving husband!! I know that situation would have literally ruined the entire weekend for and with my ex. He would have held it over my head and of COURSE sex would've been off the table because of said bad mood. But my now husband and I had a great weekend, and sex as usual. I think his priorities are just better all around. I'll be careful with this phone. Switched to Samsung edge. Water resistant. Good case. Insurance.  |
|
|
|
Post by DryCreek on Jul 3, 2017 18:22:13 GMT -5
Shit happens?
Sorry, couldn't resist... ;-)
Very good that he's respectful that life happens and that it wasn't out of willfull carelessness. Goodness knows we all screw up. Phones are cheap in contrast to other mistakes.
|
|
|
|
Post by solodriver on Jul 3, 2017 20:23:43 GMT -5
You should call it and leave this message "Can you hear me now?" |
|
|
|
Post by baza on Jul 3, 2017 20:41:43 GMT -5
Interesting to look at this the other way around. Your bloke drops his phone down the chute. You respond - - - - - how ? (I am betting it is NOT by going ballistic and calling him a careless stupid twat !!!!) Here's the bit that I find interesting. The double standard. That it *might* be acceptable for one spouse to go ballistic toward you, but it would not be acceptable for you to go ballistic at them. Clearly, in your highly functional deal Sister WindSister , "going ballistic" is not an option for either of you. Rather, it's a case of mutual support if something goes wrong. |
|
|
|
Post by DryCreek on Jul 3, 2017 23:56:35 GMT -5
WindSister, I picture your husband channeling Dennis Haysbert...
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 4, 2017 0:36:38 GMT -5
WindSister, I can totally relate to your post. I'm queen of accidents and mistakes (missing turns, taking wrong trains, losing things, dropping things, making messes, etc). Any one of these things will send my H into a dark and angry mood for days on end. If I dropped my phone in the toilet, I shudder to think of his reaction. He'd be furious. It would ruin the entire vacation. I'd never hear the end of it. I'd pay for it over and over. I'll never forget years ago he asked me to drive on a weekend getaway so he could take a nap. I missed the exit and we got about 45 minutes off track. I had to wake him up for help and he was livid. It ruined the entire trip as he withheld conversation and affection for the rest of the trip (the sex was already infrequent by then). And... why am I still with him???
|
|
|
|
Post by greatcoastal on Jul 4, 2017 5:40:36 GMT -5
Don't get me started, preaching too much about money=control!! Money is such an idol, and I believe is the second greatest factor for divorce.
I heard a comedian talking about our latest addiction to cell phones. He spoke about the old days. Remember when we were kids and you would be watching football on the tv with your dad, or out in the back yard grilling, or in the front yard talking with the neighbors, and the phone would ring in the house? What would happen? Nothing! Everyone said, "don't answer it, it's not important, they can call back."
[In fact, right now, at 5:30am, I would not be in bed with a screen in my hand. If I had a caring, intimate wife beside me, I would have pushed up against her, put my arm around her, and fallen back asleep. Those days with my STBX are long gone.]
Now it's "excuse me I've got to answer this person." Cary your phone with you every where you go! Even use it while on the crapper!
You went camping? A great time to flush the phone! (pun intended)
A divorce is like a detectives spot light. It really shines brightly on issues like money = control!
Ironically my STBX had a healthy attitude about, car repairs. (I think she heard this on Dave Ramsey) A $200. to $400. car repair, no big deal.That's equivalent to a monthly car payment. We put that much aside every month so we can buy another car with cash when the time comes. Better, and cheaper to just keep it running, instead of making monthly payments.
But then my STBX is as tight, controlling, and stingy, as could be in so many other areas of spending.
Love is priceless....Money and time are fleeting.
|
|
|
|
Post by WindSister on Jul 5, 2017 8:55:10 GMT -5
DryCreek and solodriver - I can't tell you how thankful I am that I can actually find humor in this kind of stuff again, thanks for the chuckles! I still have some residual effects from my previous marriage in times like this, but honestly, if my now husband WASN'T human/loving about this kind of stuff, I think I'd be looking for that exit door because life is too short. I think I would defend myself and tell him to buck up, let it go. Luckily I don't have to because he IS human/loving in times like this. I notice it so much because it's so different than what I lived with for 15 years prior. I am grateful! @elle - Sorry that is your reality right now. It sucks. You are still with him because it's hard to make a big change like that but I wish you the best. I repeat again, Life is short. It really is - and there are other ways to live that don't include sexlessness PLUS walking on thin ice all the time. I wish you the best! baza - You always hit it right on the head. No, I would not and did not in my past either, go ballistic in these moments. I did put up with it for far too many years from my ex. I am confident I would not now again but I am just extremely grateful I don't have to even address it because it's a non-issue now. Mutual support, what a lovely way to live. itme - Yeah, I gave up a lot (A LOT) and took a huge financial hit to leave my previous marriage. It was worth it in my case. Nothing comforting at all in wealth or "stuff." I packed up my SUV with all it would hold and that was it. He still has pictures I bought on his walls of his new house. Ick - I didn't want any of it, I moved onward and upward with no energy from the past weighing me down. My walls now are pretty bare but our house is a happy one. I wish you the best. greatcoastal -- We love our phones for camping because our music is in them (love the JBL speakers, too). Neither of us are big techies so we use our phones minimally, a quick scroll through Fakebook, texts, spotify (music). I also take a ton of pictures and upload them to Groovebook for printing each month. But mainly, in today's world the fact is we can't really be without our phones - it's our connection to all and yes, I am the person my staff call if there is an emergency. They could have gone to MY boss, too, but either way, they need to reach us. Sometimes I do miss times before smart phones, though, but I just can't see how we could ever go back. Like anything, it's only as good or as bad as we make it. I definitely enjoy disconnecting regularly. Money and control - definitely! I think we see that a lot on these boards! Nothing wrong with being smart with money (I am actually learning and doing so much more now with my money, even with earning less of an income than I did before because of my husband) but when it turns into someone holding the power over another, no good. I think most people at this stage of the game don't even want to intertwine income/finances because of the issues it can bring up. We have been lucky in that regard, though - or, we just work well together. If he was stingy it just wouldn't work for me. Thanks for the comments - so far I am liking the new phone and we will get used to the new monthly bill. It's all good.
|
|
|
|
Post by wewbwb on Jul 6, 2017 5:45:04 GMT -5
I have to go shopping for a new phone.
Thinking about switching to AT&T for cost.
Not sure about it yet.
Hmm.
|
|
|
|
Post by WindSister on Jul 6, 2017 8:57:44 GMT -5
I have to go shopping for a new phone. Thinking about switching to AT&T for cost. Not sure about it yet. Hmm. I just left At&t to get on Verizon with my husband's plan. It's all so spendy! Good luck phone shopping!! I like my samsung edge, though I still don't get why we need an "edge screen." They didn't have the normal one in stock, though, so I took it. THey also tried to give me a free "smart watch" to go with it but that's too much - I don't get why we need a watch that is connected to our phone?? He said, "Well, I have my phone charging over here, see, and I can get my updates, text, make calls and switch songs from my watch without going over to my phone." Good. Lord. For $5.00/month? Uh... naw.... I will just walk over to my phone.... One of my staff was constantly checking her watch in a class as it "dinged" and "binged" - annoying. It's a weird, wild world. |
|
|
|
Post by WindSister on Jul 6, 2017 9:00:14 GMT -5
Also, I am wondering, does anyone else get tingly hands from holding phones? No one believes me when I say I do, but I do..... as I touch the screen to do stuff, too, totally tingles... I am thinking it's just pure cancer emitting into my body. (not to make a joke about something as serious as cancer, but seriously, it can't be natural).
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2017 10:01:05 GMT -5
Is your spouse forgiving? Are you? Does your spouse put you before money and/or things? This weekend I had another phone mishap. We had been driving 3 hours and I had to pee bad. We drive in to the state Park, park in a long line of campers and vehicles, wait our turn, check in. I ask where the restroom is, oh it's not in the office, I had to drive a mile down the road to the trail center. Ugh!!!!! We get our bundles of wood and hastily take off, drive 20 miles an hour on a curvy road and finally get there. I rush into the building, get into a stall, start to pull my jeans down and heard that awful sound of my iPhone hitting the water, falling in the toilet. It was in my back pocket, something I never do, but did on the way to the check in for some dumb reason!! Ugh. I suddenly didn't have to go anymore. I was worried how my husband would take it. I retrieved it (gross, I know!!!), dried it, washed my hands and tried drying it some more. I was hopeful that maybe it would not be ruined even though it wasn't a new "water resistant" phone. But the screen flickered and went out on its own. I was dreading telling my husband. More money, etc. I'm so clumsy. Well, he didn't even bat an eye. He hugged me and said, "oh no!!! I bet you feel sick about this." Then he felt we should turn around, head to the the nearest town and get me set up with a new phone right away because I'm always on call as a supervisor. So we did. $200 later, I'm up and running again. He never made me feel bad. I apologized, but he said it was an accident. I did this same thing one year ago. He laughed, saying we jinxed it by recognizing that as we drove up (we were talking and laughing about it as we drove). I should note that neither of us are rich and our money is our money. No his or hers. We have financial goals and work very closely together when it comes to money. Anyway, he puts me before money and things. My ex was Not like that. Sure, maybe it's just that I haven't worn him down yet, but he's like that with everyone. I don't know how some people never do stupid things like that, but that kind of stuff happens to me a lot. I try to be thoughtful and careful but when life is moving fast, sometimes I get clumsy, forgetful, etc. I guess I should be thankful I have a forgiving husband!! I know that situation would have literally ruined the entire weekend for and with my ex. He would have held it over my head and of COURSE sex would've been off the table because of said bad mood. But my now husband and I had a great weekend, and sex as usual. I think his priorities are just better all around. I'll be careful with this phone. Switched to Samsung edge. Water resistant. Good case. Insurance. I am like your hubby. Matter of fact, you broke the phone? Let us get you a new one, I need to always be able to get a hold of you. I rarely fuck up like that but she has to try to do blame and brow beat. I dont let her get away with that shit. Phones might cause cancer. So does meat. Save |
|
