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Post by workingonit on Aug 12, 2019 14:27:18 GMT -5
I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I was hoping for some reaction. I have already said that my refuser, upon catching me having solo sex, threatened to divorce me, report me to my boss, have me committed, and call the police. Clearly, she does not believe that this is normal behavior. She might concede that some pwrverted me. Partake, but no woman has ever intentionally brought herself to orgasm. As strange as that sounds, I, for some years, believed that. I had never dated a woman who talked about it. I was brought up in a strict catholic family where sex was not discussed at all, and since for years my refuser was my only source of information, o believed her when she said that she and her friends had never talked about it, much less done it. Since finding my way online ro forums such as this, I believe that most women are like men in this way; I was fascinated to fine quite a few postings and Ted talks online that helped me to understand how backward society is when. It comes to what is a perfectly normal, even healthy practice. I read quite a bit about female self love from women whom I guess were of my generation? They confirmed that they never talked about it, most, like me, assumed they had invented it but we're too ashamed to share the secret worth anyone else. Most started at a very young age accidentally when it was likely not a sexual thing but something that inexplicably felt good. Now I think that most women, while they don't need to talk about it,accept it. The topic; however, maintains a double standard. I was away this weekend and saw not one but two cable channels devoted to selling sex toys for women. Most were to be used alone, though one could obviously use any toy with a partner. Women were touting the quality of the products and thousands of women, if you can believe their poste sales totals, were. Using them. Women playing is not only acceptable, it it a big, not business. Men however still seem to have to hide in a corner. It would not be sexy to find a male toy in a nightstand but finding one beside a woman's bed is a plot for a sit com. I still need to hide this aspect of my life. If I know I have a short window of opportunity and I am in need of a Reese, I will rush and or hide somewhere. This makes the experience more shameful and not at all satisfying. When it is the only means of release, though, it is somewhat necessary. I guess I am rambling but I really have no other outlet for speaking my mind. I hope you don't mind. Having known many cops in my life I still find such perverse pleasure in imagining her calling the police. Literally it still makes me crack up. I would not wish that on you but good Lord that would be funny to witness! You did not ask a question but I will say that sexually repressed women still abound despite advances in freeing womens sexuality. I am a healthy professional woman and I masturbate, use toys and discuss this with my friends when it comes up. I remember discussing this at length in college with my friends when one friend said she had never had an orgasm. But having been in a religious community as well I will say the women were not at all open to masturbation. I can recall a very odd conversation where the women were saying they would never use a tampon without an applicator (I offered one to a woman who got her period and had no product) as they would need to have contact with their pussies. ("How do you use that?? You would have to TOUCH yourself?!") These were married women with kids. And they would not put a tampon in. The bottom line is that sex is a natural part of humanity but sexuality has a strong influence from how we were nurtured. If we are taught to be ashamed of sex we can pretty successfully suppress that shit. Add that women's sexuality is slow to develop (many women report no orgasm until into their 20s) and we have plenty of time to develop some well honed issues. Young women who like sex are still slut shamed in some places. Is your wife religious? From a reserved and strict upbringing?
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Post by isthisit on Aug 12, 2019 16:58:18 GMT -5
I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I was hoping for some reaction. I have already said that my refuser, upon catching me having solo sex, threatened to divorce me, report me to my boss, have me committed, and call the police. Clearly, she does not believe that this is normal behavior. She might concede that some pwrverted me. Partake, but no woman has ever intentionally brought herself to orgasm. As strange as that sounds, I, for some years, believed that. I had never dated a woman who talked about it. I was brought up in a strict catholic family where sex was not discussed at all, and since for years my refuser was my only source of information, o believed her when she said that she and her friends had never talked about it, much less done it. Since finding my way online ro forums such as this, I believe that most women are like men in this way; I was fascinated to fine quite a few postings and Ted talks online that helped me to understand how backward society is when. It comes to what is a perfectly normal, even healthy practice. I read quite a bit about female self love from women whom I guess were of my generation? They confirmed that they never talked about it, most, like me, assumed they had invented it but we're too ashamed to share the secret worth anyone else. Most started at a very young age accidentally when it was likely not a sexual thing but something that inexplicably felt good. Now I think that most women, while they don't need to talk about it,accept it. The topic; however, maintains a double standard. I was away this weekend and saw not one but two cable channels devoted to selling sex toys for women. Most were to be used alone, though one could obviously use any toy with a partner. Women were touting the quality of the products and thousands of women, if you can believe their poste sales totals, were. Using them. Women playing is not only acceptable, it it a big, not business. Men however still seem to have to hide in a corner. It would not be sexy to find a male toy in a nightstand but finding one beside a woman's bed is a plot for a sit com. I still need to hide this aspect of my life. If I know I have a short window of opportunity and I am in need of a Reese, I will rush and or hide somewhere. This makes the experience more shameful and not at all satisfying. When it is the only means of release, though, it is somewhat necessary. I guess I am rambling but I really have no other outlet for speaking my mind. I hope you don't mind. Having known many cops in my life I still find such perverse pleasure in imagining her calling the police. Literally it still makes me crack up. I would not wish that on you but good Lord that would be funny to witness! You did not ask a question but I will say that sexually repressed women still abound despite advances in freeing womens sexuality. I am a healthy professional woman and I masturbate, use toys and discuss this with my friends when it comes up. I remember discussing this at length in college with my friends when one friend said she had never had an orgasm. But having been in a religious community as well I will say the women were not at all open to masturbation. I can recall a very odd conversation where the women were saying they would never use a tampon without an applicator (I offered one to a woman who got her period and had no product) as they would need to have contact with their pussies. ("How do you use that?? You would have to TOUCH yourself?!") These were married women with kids. And they would not put a tampon in. The bottom line is that sex is a natural part of humanity but sexuality has a strong influence from how we were nurtured. If we are taught to be ashamed of sex we can pretty successfully suppress that shit. Add that women's sexuality is slow to develop (many women report no orgasm until into their 20s) and we have plenty of time to develop some well honed issues. Young women who like sex are still slut shamed in some places. Is your wife religious? From a reserved and strict upbringing? Yup, I also know lots of police officers and would guarantee that news of that particular call would be around the nick in no time at all. Seriously which laws would be breached for Heaven’s sake? I also agree that women do indeed have conversations about masturbation, use of toys and orgasms. Only two weeks ago I was involved in a conversation where a colleague disclosed use of toys and asked what my thoughts and experiences were. With respect your wife seems to be horribly repressed and out of step with the majority. Go live a little!
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Post by saarinista on Aug 13, 2019 2:30:20 GMT -5
workingonit Sigh. So many religious denominations do SO much damage to women in terms of teaching them to view sex as sinful, harmful, dirty and forbidden for "good girls." And when you hurt women, you hurt children, families, men, everybody, because women tend to pass these views on to future generations as mothers. It's very sad and frustrating that we haven't involved further than this in 2019. Perhaps our culture needs to focus less on new cell phones and MORE on new sexual mores.🙄
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Post by Deleted on Aug 13, 2019 16:35:26 GMT -5
I've been thinking about this post for a few days. "Coping". Coping. What a horrible word to apply to a marriage. "How do you cope?"
How much self-loathing must us copers have?
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Post by baza on Aug 13, 2019 20:35:06 GMT -5
This is why sorting out one's own shit is so imperative in these ILIASM situations.
Let's say that someone is suffering from "self loathing". If that person can come to terms with that problem then the way forward is clearer .... but the start of the process is sorting ones own shit out, as far as possible.
Individual counselling can be invaluable.
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Post by dsprthusband on Aug 19, 2019 16:31:41 GMT -5
Having known many cops in my life I still find such perverse pleasure in imagining her calling the police. Literally it still makes me crack up. I would not wish that on you but good Lord that would be funny to witness! You did not ask a question but I will say that sexually repressed women still abound despite advances in freeing womens sexuality. I am a healthy professional woman and I masturbate, use toys and discuss this with my friends when it comes up. I remember discussing this at length in college with my friends when one friend said she had never had an orgasm. But having been in a religious community as well I will say the women were not at all open to masturbation. I can recall a very odd conversation where the women were saying they would never use a tampon without an applicator (I offered one to a woman who got her period and had no product) as they would need to have contact with their pussies. ("How do you use that?? You would have to TOUCH yourself?!") These were married women with kids. And they would not put a tampon in. The bottom line is that sex is a natural part of humanity but sexuality has a strong influence from how we were nurtured. If we are taught to be ashamed of sex we can pretty successfully suppress that shit. Add that women's sexuality is slow to develop (many women report no orgasm until into their 20s) and we have plenty of time to develop some well honed issues. Young women who like sex are still slut shamed in some places. Is your wife religious? From a reserved and strict upbringing? Yup, I also know lots of police officers and would guarantee that news of that particular call would be around the nick in no time at all. Seriously which laws would be breached for Heaven’s sake? I also agree that women do indeed have conversations about masturbation, use of toys and orgasms. Only two weeks ago I was involved in a conversation where a colleague disclosed use of toys and asked what my thoughts and experiences were. With respect your wife seems to be horribly repressed and out of step with the majority. Go live a little!
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2019 17:03:18 GMT -5
If my W called the police every time I practiced a little self-love. I would have been serving a life sentence by the time I was 24.
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Post by dsprthusband on Aug 20, 2019 8:31:10 GMT -5
Thank you for your responses. It did occur to me, as I was about to post this, that I had not asked a question nor left room for a response as Workingonit mentioned. I was kind of at a loss but I was hoping someone would be able to find a subtext. I am not a "sexpervert" I know that she is out of touch with reality but I needed to try to verbalized it. It's funny that you mentioned the tampon and the lack thereof that would require your friend to touch herself. I had never considered that; however, my refuser has a habit of taking face cloths from hotels. I never gave it much thought....many people take souvenirs but she recently asked me how I can take a shower without one. She uses it to "wash down there". I told her I just used soap and washed it just like all my other "there areas". She was disgusted. I met a woman who holds sex toy parties. She said it's like being a Tupperware host only they buy sex toys. Some are meant for couples but most are for women to enjoy alone. She sells to women of all ages and backgrounds and they have a great time. So Isthisit's comment about this now being an open conversation is a good thing. People shouldn't be ashamed of their own sexuality. Many of the interviews I saw online, most of women behind a confessional screen, where they felt they had been sex shamed into denying their own personal thoughts is, I hope, becoming a thing of the past. I know my mood improves once I am able to release and I hate that it has to be such a rushed secretive thing. Most of them said that they started Before they knew what sex was; it just felt good. I know a born again Christian who told me that she Masterbates but doesn't allow herself to think about sex. I guess we have a ways to go
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Post by dsprthusband on Aug 20, 2019 8:35:11 GMT -5
If my W called the police every time I practiced a little self-love. I would have been serving a life sentence by the time I was 24. Can you imagine the trial? "Your honor, he is not remorseful. In fact, I caught him smiling when we played the evidence tape Debby's does Dallas! Lock him up and throw away the key
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Aug 20, 2019 11:08:27 GMT -5
Debby Does Dallas...wow.
Blast from the past.
This and Easy (w/ Jesssie St. James) were my first exposure to pron movies. I must have been 13. Does anyone remember VHS tapes? Dating myself here.
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Post by DryCreek on Aug 20, 2019 20:22:43 GMT -5
Debby Does Dallas...wow. Blast from the past. This and Easy (w/ Jesssie St. James) were the my first exposure to pron movies. I must have been 13. Does anyone remember VHS tapes? Dating myself here. Reminds me of a joke... “Do you remember back when water was free and you had to pay for porn?” That was the era of seedy, little, adult video stores that might sell a few accessories. Now they’re well-lit, huge, reputable “adult stores” - retail chains with large selections and no rentals. How times change!
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Post by ironhamster on Aug 22, 2019 4:06:31 GMT -5
Debby Does Dallas...wow. Blast from the past. This and Easy (w/ Jesssie St. James) were the my first exposure to pron movies. I must have been 13. Does anyone remember VHS tapes? Dating myself here. I do remember VHS. VHS was Sony's first commercial design of video tape. When they developed Beta, they thought everyone would pay a premium for the better design. The porn industry chose the cheaper VHS cassette, and that set the standard for most people. We had a Magnavox VHS VCR, the second in the neighborhood. At the time, the price had dropped to $1000, which was the price point my father was willing to pay.
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Post by deadzone75 on Aug 23, 2019 13:36:12 GMT -5
Debby Does Dallas...wow. Blast from the past. This and Easy (w/ Jesssie St. James) were my first exposure to pron movies. I must have been 13. Does anyone remember VHS tapes? Dating myself here. I've spent the last couple years collecting VHS horror tapes, rebuilding the collection I got rid of when I was a kid. I have a couple VCRs I found pretty cheap, but you wouldn't believe the asking price for many VHS tapes floating around out there. I don't think I've seen a porn VHS since I peeked behind the curtain of the "special room" at Family Video.
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Post by Handy on Aug 23, 2019 16:08:44 GMT -5
I remember my first sexualized movie, "I Am Curious (Yellow)" I saw it long after it was initially released.
Her little room is filled with books, papers, and boxes full of clippings on topics such as "religion" and "men", and files on each of the 23 men with whom she has had sex. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Am_Curious_%28Yellow%29
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Post by saarinista on Aug 30, 2019 1:29:00 GMT -5
Debby Does Dallas...wow. Blast from the past. This and Easy (w/ Jesssie St. James) were my first exposure to pron movies. I must have been 13. Does anyone remember VHS tapes? Dating myself here. I'm so old I remember when there were no tapes of any kind at all! 🙄 Well, maybe adhesive tape. 😉 I'm so old I also remember when "Deep Throat" and "The Devil in Miss Jones" were newer porn releases, played regularly on weekends in an auditorium at my large Midwestern University. Yikes.
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