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Post by Venus Erotes on Apr 25, 2017 22:08:07 GMT -5
Since I have been off I can barely look at a half decent looking man without picturing all sorts of dirty things 😱😱 appleaday : This made me want to ask... Can I send you my picture? (So... apparently, one of the ways I try to cope is HUMOR!)Hahahahaha!!!!!!
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Post by mrslowmaintenance on Apr 25, 2017 23:53:45 GMT -5
I don't know if anyone has ever coped by successfully reducing libido, but I find the idea that anyone should consider this as a good coping strategy to be about more than I can bear. Surely this can't be what we are reduced to ... Until now that is how I have unknowingly been coping, by reducing my libido. I was on bc in hopes it would help encourage some intimacy but I quit a couple months ago because why continue medicine with health risks for no benefit? Turns out these particular pills were killing my drive making it much easier to cope with lack of intimacy. Since I have been off I can barely look at a half decent looking man without picturing all sorts of dirty things 😱😱 I have considered going back on for this benefit but it feels like I'm lying to myself and medically changing myself to cope with this feels extreme. Idk. Oh yeah, ditto! I have considered bc to lower my drive, and maybe drive myself a little more hormone crazy haha! But seriously, exercise increased my need so much more than I expected... All those men running the track, wiping their faces with the bottom of their shirt 😘 oh lawdy the things I imagine, then I rent I am supposed to be watching my daughter so her ballet class, whoops. 😳
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appleaday
Junior Member
Posts: 95
Age Range: 36-40
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Post by appleaday on Apr 25, 2017 23:56:57 GMT -5
Since I have been off I can barely look at a half decent looking man without picturing all sorts of dirty things 😱😱 appleaday : This made me want to ask... Can I send you my picture? (So... apparently, one of the ways I try to cope is HUMOR!)I am one of those that turns to humor in awkward situations, the more inappropriate socially the better. I often compare myself to Chandler from Friends. I find myself having to bite back the jokes and sarcasm sometimes when people comment about mine and my husbands supposed perfect marriage. At least I get to be funny in my head while I'm nodding along in real life.
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Post by mrslowmaintenance on Apr 26, 2017 3:18:47 GMT -5
appleaday : This made me want to ask... Can I send you my picture? (So... apparently, one of the ways I try to cope is HUMOR!) I am one of those that turns to humor in awkward situations, the more inappropriate socially the better. I often compare myself to Chandler from Friends. I find myself having to bite back the jokes and sarcasm sometimes when people comment about mine and my husbands supposed perfect marriage. At least I get to be funny in my head while I'm nodding along in real life. Funny story, our friend said they would watch our daughter for a night on the cruise so my H and I could have alone time. I accidentally laughed out loud and before I could realize what I had done I said "to do what?!" ...Whoops, that's wasn't in my head, oh God what have I done hahahahah
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Post by h on Apr 26, 2017 5:02:15 GMT -5
Until now that is how I have unknowingly been coping, by reducing my libido. I was on bc in hopes it would help encourage some intimacy but I quit a couple months ago because why continue medicine with health risks for no benefit? Turns out these particular pills were killing my drive making it much easier to cope with lack of intimacy. Since I have been off I can barely look at a half decent looking man without picturing all sorts of dirty things 😱😱 I have considered going back on for this benefit but it feels like I'm lying to myself and medically changing myself to cope with this feels extreme. Idk. Oh yeah, ditto! I have considered bc to lower my drive, and maybe drive myself a little more hormone crazy haha! But seriously, exercise increased my need so much more than I expected... All those men running the track, wiping their faces with the bottom of their shirt 😘 oh lawdy the things I imagine, then I rent I am supposed to be watching my daughter so her ballet class, whoops. 😳 Yeah, there aren't many options for men on that front. I heard that antidepressants can kill libido but I can't take any mood/mind altering drugs with one of my jobs. I tried chasteberry supplements and they worked for a while but I think I built up a tolerance and the urges came back eventually. When it was working, I went a whole month without even feeling turned on. Big let down when it became ineffective. Would be open to trying other herbal remedies if I found one.
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Post by h on Apr 26, 2017 5:05:14 GMT -5
I just joined yesterday and I already feel better. It's nice to get it out and have someone listen (well, read actually). I do plan to stay with my wife. I will make sure to be more straightforward with her and maybe force some positive change. I feel like coming here and having to defend my decision has forced me to think about it more critically and reminded me that I still love her so thank you all for that. It still may not work out in the end but at least I can say that I made a choice and did something. I don't feel like I have done all I can and I couldn't leave without knowing I exhausted all options. h , you learn fast. Initially, you ask about coping with your SM. Then a few hours later, you shifted focus to improving your marriage by seeking positive change from w. Since you don't have kids yet, you can spend more time with her. It doesn't have to be sexual. Wishing you luck. Always been a quick study 😉
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Post by tamara68 on Apr 26, 2017 8:10:14 GMT -5
Thanks doneanddone and lyn. Appreciate the support. GeekGoddess- we would like to have children and don't use birth control. Activity is just so infrequent (and at the wrong time) that it hasn't happened yet. Don't have children when the marriage is dysfunctional and / or when you don't feel good about yourself. You are looking for ways to cope. Children make it much harder to cope. Every problem is going to get bigger when you have children.
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Post by shamwow on Apr 26, 2017 8:27:54 GMT -5
I don't know if anyone has ever coped by successfully reducing libido, but I find the idea that anyone should consider this as a good coping strategy to be about more than I can bear. Surely this can't be what we are reduced to ... Until now that is how I have unknowingly been coping, by reducing my libido. I was on bc in hopes it would help encourage some intimacy but I quit a couple months ago because why continue medicine with health risks for no benefit? Turns out these particular pills were killing my drive making it much easier to cope with lack of intimacy. Since I have been off I can barely look at a half decent looking man without picturing all sorts of dirty things 😱😱 I have considered going back on for this benefit but it feels like I'm lying to myself and medically changing myself to cope with this feels extreme. Idk. May I refer you to my "molested by a jogger" story in the Lighter Side section: www.iliasm.org/thread/2585/on-friday
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Post by GeekGoddess on Apr 26, 2017 14:29:49 GMT -5
I just heard today in class that some sex offenders are treated with a libido-reducing prescription. No details (drug name) provided though. May be worth asking a doctor about such a possibility. I would rather slit my own throat than work to destroy my inborn tendency to high libido. But that's just me.
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Post by h on Apr 26, 2017 14:35:11 GMT -5
I just heard today in class that some sex offenders are treated with a libido-reducing prescription. No details (drug name) provided though. May be worth asking a doctor about such a possibility. I would rather slit my own throat than work to destroy my inborn tendency to high libido. But that's just me. Those drugs are only given to people who are deemed serious threats of reoffending. They have very bad side effects and risks of worse health issues if taken for any length of time.
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Post by shamwow on Apr 26, 2017 14:40:37 GMT -5
I just heard today in class that some sex offenders are treated with a libido-reducing prescription. No details (drug name) provided though. May be worth asking a doctor about such a possibility. I would rather slit my own throat than work to destroy my inborn tendency to high libido. But that's just me. At one point, I self medicated myself to reduce my libido. It went by many brand names. Tito's, Corona, Jagermeister, and the Demon Budweiser. Got to say, though, since I stopped drinking? Libido is off the charts again. So booze works! But there are side effects such as waking up in the gutter on Bourbon Street in the gay section missing a shoe (among other side effects)
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Post by h on Apr 26, 2017 14:46:55 GMT -5
I just heard today in class that some sex offenders are treated with a libido-reducing prescription. No details (drug name) provided though. May be worth asking a doctor about such a possibility. I would rather slit my own throat than work to destroy my inborn tendency to high libido. But that's just me. At one point, I self medicated myself to reduce my libido. It went by many brand names. Tito's, Corona, Jagermeister, and the Demon Budweiser. Got to say, though, since I stopped drinking? Libido is off the charts again. So booze works! But there are side effects such as waking up in the gutter on Bourbon Street in the gay section missing a shoe (among other side effects) Mine usually say Evan Williams on the bottle 😁
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Post by GeekGoddess on Apr 26, 2017 22:00:04 GMT -5
I think suppressing libido is bad news. I think if I am (and I was) living in a place where I have to think about this as a serious option, then I'm not living the way that a free adult ought to. That's just me.
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Post by baza on Apr 26, 2017 22:39:05 GMT -5
Libido suppression may well treat a symptom. (it might even cause you to grow a nice little set of jugs too !)
But it won't do anything to resolve the core problem of being a bloke in a dysfunctional marriage.
If you embark on this course of action, all that will change will be that you'll be a neutered bloke in a dysfunctional marriage. (perhaps with a nice set of jugs)
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appleaday
Junior Member
Posts: 95
Age Range: 36-40
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Post by appleaday on Apr 27, 2017 7:48:30 GMT -5
Libido suppression may well treat a symptom. (it might even cause you to grow a nice little set of jugs too !) But it won't do anything to resolve the core problem of being a bloke in a dysfunctional marriage. If you embark on this course of action, all that will change will be that you'll be a neutered bloke in a dysfunctional marriage. (perhaps with a nice set of jugs) No fair, libido suppression did nothing for my jugs! I'm going to have to take this up with management! On a serious note, I agree here. That's why I haven't gone back to the doc to get more libido killing bc.
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